johnnydrama1 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Ok; This is expensive! Like REALLY expensive but I thought I HAVE TO HELP MYSELF! The pain is just too much. So I came to one of the famous rehab centers in the world. Some of the best therapists are here. Yes, for "love addicts and co-dependents" like me, withdraw from a relationship is like withdraw from heroin. Been here 6 days. Safe environment. I learned one thing.... It's not about the woman who left. It's much deeper than that. Unfortunately I can;t afford to stay here for the full 3 months program to cure my co-dependency and tramas etc. But i learned there IS such thing as love addiction and there IS work involved to fix this and stop history from repeating. I have to leave here in a couple days. Like I said I can't afford to stay longer. So what I am gonna do i to go to one of the islands, keep positive, busy, go to gym, go to yoga, Tinder back on phone, full on positive affirmation, meet women. This is not the cure but at least keeps me going until I forget. When I have enough $$ to deal with it the right way, I'll come back and do the therapy. God help me, going out I have to change my attitude and be VERY strong. I've done it in the past, I am gonna do this again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I think it is great you are addressing this, and finding other options to move forward. The one thing I don't get, is using Tinder. Don't you think you should focus on getting healthy, instead of bringing others into the mix? You are not ready to date if you are addicted to someone else. Deal with your issues, and consider dating in a year's time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanZee Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Actually, the death of a relationship is more like the death of a family member. I don't think they can fix you by treating you for an addiction. You're experiencing grief rather than withdrawal. And it's going to take a couple of years to get over it if it was a deep relationship. A previous thread talked about how long it takes to recover and one person said it was 3 years for a long-term relationship, 6 months for a so-so relationship, and a couple of weeks for a dating relationship that was not too deep. You've hit the major points on how to recover. Take long walks in the sun in nature, work out daily at a gym, go out to museums, concerts, movies and other events, treat yourself to luxuries like dinner at a fancy steak place, go out with other women, don't contact your ex, and do things that make you happy. If you're the type of person who wants to talk about the relationship, you can look for therapists or a counselor for a weekly appointment to help you out. I think you need weekly boosters rather than trying to cure your grief in just 3 months. Just my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Dan Zee, the OP has been diagnosed with love addiction and co dependency , this is different from mourning the loss of one relationship. He has to deal with his issues head on, and by bringing others in, prevents him from understanding his patterns and reasons that he landed him in this place. Dating others is not going to do it, as it is temporary bandaid, which will only be a help to the ego, but not help him make positive change. OP, I am sure that there are websites dedicated to your issues. I believe that CODA is international and free, having groups in many cities. You do not have to go to the finest facility in the States. Find therapy that is more in your price range, as I don't see how a week of therapy can do much good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I am in that same pain JD* I have sought counseling.... I'm very proud of you* Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydrama1 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 The pain is SO BAD today I’m not sure where to go. I check out in an hour and have no idea where to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Go somewhere where you can cry until the crying stops. Try to start deflecting your thoughts. This will take time and I'm struggling with it myself! Rinse & Repeat.... Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Let it all out JD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterfly699 Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Hmmm....guess I’m just trying to figure out what ur saying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 1 week probably isn't enough. Especially not if you're trying to jump right back onto tinder... I'd assume a place that expensive would have told you off the bat you aren't ready to date.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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