Roseanna Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I am 25 and been married for a year and a half. I've been with him for 6 years. When he first proposed I said no because I was 22 and felt too young. He reassured me that nothing would change and I could still go out partying with my friends and that it meant a lot to him to be married. So I agreed to make him happy. The night before I was with my family and friends and I felt sick at the thought of getting married so young but put it down to just nerves. The wedding was ok, defiantly not the best day of my life, I found it more awkward and there was no sex or chemistry or even a first dance which all my family picked up on. Which brings me to the present time. We have been arguing ever since we got married as I have continued to want to see my friends, text them daily and go out (twice a month). He has now admitted that he doesn't think a wife should go out or go to clubs because people only do that to pull another guy. Whenever I say but my friends do and that I know girls with kids and in their forties who still enjoy a night out he says 'but are they married?' He comments on what I'm wearing and admits he is very insecure even going through my phone behind my back regularly. I do have to say though, the more he controls me (or tried to, I'm very strong minded) the more I try and break free by talking to other guys and even having to lie when I meet up with guy mates because I know it will cause an argument. He wants me to stay at home, clean and give him children which I do want but I also want to go out and have fun. We never do anything together because he doesn't like social situations whereas I have a real need to socialise. He has even asked me before 'why would you want to see your friends when I'm home and you can see me' he doesn't have many friends and makes no effort with them so doesn't understand why I would want to. My question is what do I do? I have always wanted to be married, he loves me to death, would do anything for me and would be a great dad. I could spend the rest of my life with him. Should I be sacrificing my nights out and friends to really put effort into my marriage? Is that what marriage is? Or is there someone out there who would sit in a cocktail bar with me, go out with his friends when I see mine. Because of all this I find it hard to fancy him now because he is basically acting a dads role and has given up with his appearance because he doesn't think he needs to make an effort now we are married. If I leave him will I just be chasing a fairy tail that doesn't exist and end up lonely until I 'settle' for someone the same or even worse. Am I being ungrateful? I have so many questions. You don't get taught this stuff at school. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.