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Working on things with ex boyfriend


Jk1989

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I’ve been working on things with my ex bf. We dated for two months about 5 months ago. He came back into my life and wanted to work on things( our breakup involved no cheating). We’ve been working on things for about a month, everything has been going wonderful, literally perfect. Well, while we were out at brunch I saw a text he left sent another girl “hey beautiful”. I immediately got upset. I asked who she was and he told me a girl he dated back in high school that’s going through a divorce and he saw her when he was back home a few weeks back. We are in Cali, his back home is in Alabama. He told me the text didn’t mean anything and all this other stuff. But never the less it hurt me a lot. A month in and he’s texting someone else( she didn’t respond). But in my head in makes me wonder what else he’s doing or talking to or if that was even the first text and now i feel like it damaged the trust i thought we had. I told him how much it hurt me and that it was disrespectful to me and he said he understood. It’s been two days since i saw that text and it still bothers me. I would like to talk to him again about where this is going and basically just see if i wish to continue to work on things. We are not officially back together yet but i feel if you are working on a relationship you shouldn’t be texting other women at all. Please let me know advice or thoughts. I would like to talk to him tonight

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I’ve been working on things with my ex bf. We dated for two months about 5 months ago. He came back into my life and wanted to work on things( our breakup involved no cheating). We’ve been working on things for about a month, everything has been going wonderful, literally perfect. Well, while we were out at brunch I saw a text he left sent another girl “hey beautiful”. I immediately got upset. I asked who she was and he told me a girl he dated back in high school that’s going through a divorce and he saw her when he was back home a few weeks back. We are in Cali, his back home is in Alabama. He told me the text didn’t mean anything and all this other stuff. But never the less it hurt me a lot. A month in and he’s texting someone else( she didn’t respond). But in my head in makes me wonder what else he’s doing or talking to or if that was even the first text and now i feel like it damaged the trust i thought we had. I told him how much it hurt me and that it was disrespectful to me and he said he understood. It’s been two days since i saw that text and it still bothers me. I would like to talk to him again about where this is going and basically just see if i wish to continue to work on things. We are not officially back together yet but i feel if you are working on a relationship you shouldn’t be texting other women at all. Please let me know advice or thoughts. I would like to talk to him tonight

 

It sounds to me like you do not have a chance to make it with this guy if he has reached out to an ex. You are better off holding your chin up and looking for someone else to focus all of your energy on.

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That would not sit well with me, either. It sounds like he was fishing, even if she didn't bite. A guy who is truly committed to working on things isn't going to be "Hey Beautiful"-ing an ex at the same time.

 

Why did you break up the first time? And what prompted him to come back? I wouldn't be too keen to revisit something that only last two months, and this type of thing is already happening on the second try.

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Why are you "working on things" with a guy you previously dated for 8 weeks and broke up? to me, that's the honeymoon period and there should be nothing major to 'work on" except schedules if you have weird schedules. The first 8 weeks should be free and easy and either you are a match and can naturally get alone or you can't. If you broke up after just a few weeks and really have to manage and labor through "being together", i don't think he's for you. If you are already fighting, have already broken up at that point - its just not the right guy.

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