rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Do you guys consider watching porn as cheating? Link to comment
rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 ....No.... For me, is the fact that my boyfriend masturbated by looking at another girl, which makes me feel unattractive and just not good enough. Wouldn’t a guy feel the same if he found out his girlfriend was masturbating by looking at another guy? Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Only if your having sex with someone else while watching porn. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 For me, is the fact that my boyfriend masturbated by looking at another girl, which makes me feel unattractive and just not good enough. Wouldn’t a guy feel the same if he found out his girlfriend was masturbating by looking at another guy? Guess what, we masturbate to other girls we are fantasizing about in our head all the time. And it has nothing to do with you. Link to comment
rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 Guess what, we masturbate to other girls we are fantasizing about in our head all the time. And it has nothing to do with you. Ok. And as a female in a committed relationship I don’t think it’s okay for my boyfriend to fantasize about any other girls. Just as he wishes of me. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 For me, is the fact that my boyfriend masturbated by looking at another girl, which makes me feel unattractive and just not good enough. Wouldn’t a guy feel the same if he found out his girlfriend was masturbating by looking at another guy? Noooooooooooo. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Ok. And as a female in a committed relationship I don’t think it’s okay for my boyfriend to fantasize about any other girls. Just as he wishes of me. Really???? Good luck with that. Why so insecure? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 ....noooooo...... You need to work on your insecurities OP. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Fantasies can be kept to yourself. It sounds like you two are sharing TMI.Just as he wishes of me. Link to comment
rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 Really???? Good luck with that. Why so insecure? Yes I’m insecure but that’s not helping the fact. Not sure how to turn off my insecurities?? Link to comment
rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 ....noooooo...... You need to work on your insecurities OP. Yes I’m insecure but that’s not helping the fact. Not sure how to turn off my insecurities?? Link to comment
rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 I was asking for you guys help, not judgement! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Yes I’m insecure but that’s not helping the fact. Not sure how to turn off my insecurities?? That's for you to work on, not him. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 I was asking for you guys help, not judgement! You asked for advice. It's not judgement, just because you don't like what you are hearing. This is about you. Do something positive and work on yourself. Link to comment
rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 You asked for advice. It's not judgement, just because you don't like what you are hearing. This is about you. Do something positive and work on yourself. What would you suggest? Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Ok. And as a female in a committed relationship I don’t think it’s okay for my boyfriend to fantasize about any other girls. Just as he wishes of me. OHHHH girl you're in for a shock and no ..it is not cheating ..... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 What would you suggest? Do you make your life about him, or do you have a full life with friends and activities? Can you identify where these insecurities come from? Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 What would you suggest? Step one would be learn to accept that viewing porn and fantasizing are not equivalent to cheating. If you object to pornography on a moral grounds, that's fine. Communicate that. But to say "You cant view porn because I am jealous, you should only view me" is nothing more than self serving and forceful adulation. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 There is no harm in having bounderies and maybe you just need some of those .... for example ...In role play I am quite happy to have a houseful climbing on top of me ( but in reality there is just me and my partner ...my invisible partner because I am old, wrinkled and lonely ) but in the role play alsorts is going on ..my boundary is ...no bringing friends we have into the role play ... I know you are talking about watching porn not role play , but my point , when I get there , is , is he telling you too much , is he telling you he just slammed one out to porn and the girl was hot etc etc ...how has this all come about ? Link to comment
rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 There is no harm in having bounderies and maybe you just need some of those .... for example ...In role play I am quite happy to have a houseful climbing on top of me ( but in reality there is just me and my partner ...my invisible partner because I am old, wrinkled and lonely ) but in the role play alsorts is going on ..my boundary is ...no bringing friends we have into the role play ... I know you are talking about watching porn not role play , but my point , when I get there , is , is he telling you too much , is he telling you he just slammed one out to porn and the girl was hot etc etc ...how has this all come about ? No, I found it in his found as I was trying to use his internet lol. Link to comment
Unreasonable Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Do you guys consider watching porn as cheating? No I don't. However, that is an OPINION. If you wish to consider it cheating, be my guest. Your opinion is just as valid as mine. However, you should know that, for better or for worse, a vast majority of men look at porn on a regular basis. That is not an opinion, that is a statistical fact. A fact you cannot change. A fact that is likely going to plague you for the rest of your life if you keep thinking about it. Now, most men are discrete about it, and if they have a woman that shares your opinion, hide it as best they can. I won't tell you to just get over it. However, if you're going to be with a man that watches porn, he obviously is going to need to be more discrete than your boyfriend. I swear, the amount of guys that don't know how to use incognito mode astounds me. Link to comment
rianblack Posted November 27, 2017 Author Share Posted November 27, 2017 Do you make your life about him, or do you have a full life with friends and activities? Can you identify where these insecurities come from? Well I guess you could say that sense my life now it’s of nothing but my daughter, boyfriend, school, and work. I don’t have much of a social life. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Well I guess you could say that sense my life now it’s of nothing but my daughter, boyfriend, school, and work. I don’t have much of a social life. You sound very busy. Do you have many friends? Do you get out and do things with them when you have free time. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 No, I found it in his found as I was trying to use his internet lol. I honestly wouldn't worry .... I have watched porn while in a relationship ..I have fanatised while in a relationship ....be careful what you wish for darling , I mean that ..... for him to only ever every day , 24/7 , only have eyes for you I would think there something wrong ..we all have fleeting thoughts and can be very much in love and dedicated to our partners . Don't allow yourself to be on this pedestal with any man because the fall is a long way down . Link to comment
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