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For me, is the fact that my boyfriend masturbated by looking at another girl, which makes me feel unattractive and just not good enough. Wouldn’t a guy feel the same if he found out his girlfriend was masturbating by looking at another guy?

 

Guess what, we masturbate to other girls we are fantasizing about in our head all the time. And it has nothing to do with you.

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Guess what, we masturbate to other girls we are fantasizing about in our head all the time. And it has nothing to do with you.

 

Ok. And as a female in a committed relationship I don’t think it’s okay for my boyfriend to fantasize about any other girls. Just as he wishes of me.

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For me, is the fact that my boyfriend masturbated by looking at another girl, which makes me feel unattractive and just not good enough. Wouldn’t a guy feel the same if he found out his girlfriend was masturbating by looking at another guy?

 

Noooooooooooo.

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What would you suggest?

 

Step one would be learn to accept that viewing porn and fantasizing are not equivalent to cheating. If you object to pornography on a moral grounds, that's fine. Communicate that. But to say "You cant view porn because I am jealous, you should only view me" is nothing more than self serving and forceful adulation.

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There is no harm in having bounderies and maybe you just need some of those ....

 

for example ...In role play I am quite happy to have a houseful climbing on top of me ( but in reality there is just me and my partner ...my invisible partner because I am old, wrinkled and lonely ) but in the role play alsorts is going on ..my boundary is ...no bringing friends we have into the role play ...

 

I know you are talking about watching porn not role play , but my point , when I get there , is , is he telling you too much , is he telling you he just slammed one out to porn and the girl was hot etc etc ...how has this all come about ?

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There is no harm in having bounderies and maybe you just need some of those ....

 

for example ...In role play I am quite happy to have a houseful climbing on top of me ( but in reality there is just me and my partner ...my invisible partner because I am old, wrinkled and lonely ) but in the role play alsorts is going on ..my boundary is ...no bringing friends we have into the role play ...

 

I know you are talking about watching porn not role play , but my point , when I get there , is , is he telling you too much , is he telling you he just slammed one out to porn and the girl was hot etc etc ...how has this all come about ?

 

No, I found it in his found as I was trying to use his internet lol.

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Do you guys consider watching porn as cheating?

 

No I don't. However, that is an OPINION. If you wish to consider it cheating, be my guest. Your opinion is just as valid as mine.

 

However, you should know that, for better or for worse, a vast majority of men look at porn on a regular basis. That is not an opinion, that is a statistical fact. A fact you cannot change. A fact that is likely going to plague you for the rest of your life if you keep thinking about it.

 

Now, most men are discrete about it, and if they have a woman that shares your opinion, hide it as best they can.

 

I won't tell you to just get over it. However, if you're going to be with a man that watches porn, he obviously is going to need to be more discrete than your boyfriend. I swear, the amount of guys that don't know how to use incognito mode astounds me.

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Do you make your life about him, or do you have a full life with friends and activities?

 

Can you identify where these insecurities come from?

 

Well I guess you could say that sense my life now it’s of nothing but my daughter, boyfriend, school, and work. I don’t have much of a social life.

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Well I guess you could say that sense my life now it’s of nothing but my daughter, boyfriend, school, and work. I don’t have much of a social life.

 

You sound very busy. Do you have many friends? Do you get out and do things with them when you have free time.

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No, I found it in his found as I was trying to use his internet lol.

 

I honestly wouldn't worry .... I have watched porn while in a relationship ..I have fanatised while in a relationship ....be careful what you wish for darling , I mean that ..... for him to only ever every day , 24/7 , only have eyes for you I would think there something wrong ..we all have fleeting thoughts and can be very much in love and dedicated to our partners . Don't allow yourself to be on this pedestal with any man because the fall is a long way down .

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