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Women can take a lot: The biggest realization that helped me to stop being a nice guy


CountVronsky
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I fully admit I have seen the mindset you speak of on here, more so with women then men though, sometimes its gag worthy and super obvious, but I look at it as more groupthink than white knighting.

 

I always though IamFCA was a woman...

 

Yah groupthink is the all encompassing thing around white knighting. White knights are the biggest group thinkers of all. They have the biggest herd mentality. They hate sticking out and risking criticism from people, especially from women.

And when they see a fellow male who is being ostracized by the female community, they jump on board the bandwagon.

 

I know these things because I spent most of my 20s being a white knight. I've been a white knight all my life until I decided to make some drastic changes. Now I'd rather be hated by most people in a group and be liked by a few individuals. It took the longest time for me to realize that women didn't need any saving and that they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and that I needed to "save" myself first.

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CV I understand what you mean about the highs and lows.

 

Years back, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 so have had plenty of that going on in my life already without experiencing it in my RLs too.

 

Although, like you, I am drawn to it in my RLs, for some reason. Probably due to the Bipolar, which thankfully I am managing through diet and exercise and just avoiding negativity and toxic situations in my life.

 

Working hard to create a new path for myself, becoming attracted to different things (i.e. stable men and relationships) because all the emotional highs and lows have a profound effect on me that isn't healthy, and in fact, very harmful.

 

What I seek now is a balance, I think that is key. I will always hate (maybe too strong of a word) the boring and mundane, same ole, same ole. But at the same time, RLs that offer high drama don't appeal to me either anymore.

 

I do need to be challenged to a certain extent. And I need strong man who doesn't tolerate BS, because lord knows I sure do know how to dish it out when given the opportunity. Or used to, not so much anymore. Not intentionally of course, I suppose it was just the nature of my disease (before being able to manage effectively).

 

I've also simply matured and grown up these past few years; always learning, growing, evolving.

 

Introspection and self-reflection is good. And it sounds to me like you're doing those things and on the right path in reaching a place of peace in your life. Me too.

 

Peace of course being defined however you wish to define it, for yourself.

 

Wishing us both luck on our respective journeys!

 

I know what you mean by easily bored. Somehow if I'm with someone nice, stable and everything is going great, I feel like there's something wrong and that it could all end. Or I just get plain bored and take it for granted. It's almost like I need the drama. But I realize I'm getting older and I can't keep living the way I've done. Someday I'm gonna need a strong, kind, woman who I can rely on as well. I'm not always going to be strong by myself. Marriage is very much two people who are devoted to one another to tough it out in life. There's gonna be tough times when the wife needs the husband and the husband needs the wife. That's really what a life partner is.

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Yah groupthink is the all encompassing thing around white knighting. White knights are the biggest group thinkers of all. They have the biggest herd mentality. They hate sticking out and risking criticism from people, especially from women.

And when they see a fellow male who is being ostracized by the female community, they jump on board the bandwagon.

 

I know these things because I spent most of my 20s being a white knight. I've been a white knight all my life until I decided to make some drastic changes. Now I'd rather be hated by most people in a group and be liked by a few individuals. It took the longest time for me to realize that women didn't need any saving and that they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and that I needed to "save" myself first.

 

I ageee with your realization, but you're still trying to place blame for your dating troubles.

 

Being a white night and falling into groupthink are day and night. They literally have nothing to do with one another. You're trying to make it seem like white knighting is an epidemic or something. It's something overreaching dudes do.

 

It's something you wrestled with so you're trying to make it into something everyone wrestles with, but it's not.

 

I'm not even seeing the correlation between you being a white knight and you being addicted to relationship drama. Again night and day and neither is healthy so you have still yet to have me understand your point.

 

Believe it or not in my eyes you are still coming off as a white knight type. Typically when those types come here and post they sound like you, they come on with a hidden agenda, typically wanting people to agree with their argument, they make sweeping statements, insist they understand 'all women' and refuse to see how they contribute to their issues. They want help but bury that desire under bravado and twist their posts in a way that makes it seem like they're teaching people a lesson we never asked to learn

 

You are not better off torturing women for a high. You seem intelligent enough to know that deep down.

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It's so interesting how posters can interpret posts so differently.

 

@figureitout, respect your opinions as always, but I sense something entirely different from CV's posts.

 

To the contrary, he's appeared quite humble, accepting his past mistakes and failures, introspecting, self-reflecting, and exploring within himself ways to improve, and encourages others to do same.

 

Not in a braggadocio or judgmental sort of way, but as a way for both himself and others to learn, grow, evolve, which is why many of us post and share our experiences.

 

My sense is he's a guy trying to find his path in the world, who needs and wants to love and be loved, but has struggled to find it.

 

Haven't we all? I have. Still am. Made tons of mistakes, have hurt people (intentionally/unintentionally) due to various "issues" I still struggle with sometimes.

 

Personally, I appreciate his openness about himself, good and bad. Him doing so made it more comfortable for me to do same, especially re my bipolar and how it has affected my relationships and life in general. Instead of keeping things bottled up all the time.

 

He clarified what he meant by "torturing" (did he even use that word?) women for a high, perhaps you missed.

 

I also didn't see where he made the correlation between being a white knight and seeking high drama. I agree with you, they are two separate things.

 

He was once a white knight, and learned it was not in his best interests on his quest to find love and the type of egalitarian relationship he wants (which he clarified is what he wants, ultimately). Give and take, mutual support, etc.

 

He was also into high drama, the highs and lows and after introspection and self-reflection explained why. Still struggles with it, as do I. He never said those two things were related. If he did, I missed it.

 

I don't know, my sense of him could be completely wrong.

 

Perhaps I feel as I do because I can relate to many of his struggles. The fear and pain. The drug/alcohol addiction I experienced second hand (my ex).

 

If others cannot relate, they might have a completely different interpretation, as you did.

 

The only person who can say with certainty what his motivations or true nature is, is the OP himself.

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I ageee with your realization, but you're still trying to place blame for your dating troubles.

 

Being a white night and falling into groupthink are day and night. They literally have nothing to do with one another. You're trying to make it seem like white knighting is an epidemic or something. It's something overreaching dudes do.

 

It's something you wrestled with so you're trying to make it into something everyone wrestles with, but it's not.

 

I'm not even seeing the correlation between you being a white knight and you being addicted to relationship drama. Again night and day and neither is healthy so you have still yet to have me understand your point.

 

Believe it or not in my eyes you are still coming off as a white knight type. Typically when those types come here and post they sound like you, they come on with a hidden agenda, typically wanting people to agree with their argument, they make sweeping statements, insist they understand 'all women' and refuse to see how they contribute to their issues. They want help but bury that desire under bravado and twist their posts in a way that makes it seem like they're teaching people a lesson we never asked to learn

 

You are not better off torturing women for a high. You seem intelligent enough to know that deep down.

 

I did have an agenda posting this. My intention was not to troll nor to offend but I've been reading the posts on this forum for awhile before I created an account and started posting. Most of the topics are from men and women coming from a desperation mindset. I could relate to a lot of the posts and being a man, I can only speak for my own gender, so I thought I shared my two cents of wisdom. It was not my intention to come off as arrogant and reading back on my OP, I don't think I did. I think it's more the case that a lot of people don't like to hear the truth. I totally get it. In my 20s, if someone had accused me of being a white knight, I would be bothered too. But the truth is hard to hear.

 

Yes I do have dating troubles, just like a lot of people do. In no way was I trying to deny that. But my current dating troubles vs the dating troubles I had in my 20s are different. I'd like to think I've evolved. I get fewer dates and connections these days but that has a lot to do with me being pickier and having more self-knowledge and also just having less time and patience for dates that I know will lead to nowhere. I want authentic connections with women who I truly enjoy the company of and it's gotta be mutual too. That's very hard to find. As for women I'm simply attracted to physically, if I feel like we have nothing in common and no connection, I'm not gonna pursue it. I've worked hard in creating a life of my own and I'm busy most of the time.

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I could relate to a lot of the posts and being a man, I can only speak for my own gender,
I don't think anyone is questioning anything about your white knightness or anyone else's problems with the syndrome. It's your know-it-all comments about women in general that are offensive, not to mention that you speak for us regarding childbirth and what we as women can withstand because of it. You don't just speak to your own gender, you impose your views on women as if you are one of those as well.

 

How about you come back with examples of real live ways you've changed instead of giving it lip service? You talk the talk but you haven't yet walked the walk. I'd like to hear from you again when you are in a relationship and you're treating your partner with respect and not some object that is there to satisfy your darker issues.

 

You've convinced some (one?) but certainly not all of us of what your agenda here is.

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I did have an agenda posting this. My intention was not to troll nor to offend but I've been reading the posts on this forum for awhile before I created an account and started posting. Most of the topics are from men and women coming from a desperation mindset. I could relate to a lot of the posts and being a man, I can only speak for my own gender, so I thought I shared my two cents of wisdom. It was not my intention to come off as arrogant and reading back on my OP, I don't think I did. I think it's more the case that a lot of people don't like to hear the truth. I totally get it. In my 20s, if someone had accused me of being a white knight, I would be bothered too. But the truth is hard to hear.

 

Yes I do have dating troubles, just like a lot of people do. In no way was I trying to deny that. But my current dating troubles vs the dating troubles I had in my 20s are different. I'd like to think I've evolved. I get fewer dates and connections these days but that has a lot to do with me being pickier and having more self-knowledge and also just having less time and patience for dates that I know will lead to nowhere. I want authentic connections with women who I truly enjoy the company of and it's gotta be mutual too. That's very hard to find. As for women I'm simply attracted to physically, if I feel like we have nothing in common and no connection, I'm not gonna pursue it. I've worked hard in creating a life of my own and I'm busy most of the time.

 

 

So the point of your post was to, as I said, give readers a lesson we never asked to learn.

 

I won't speak for others but I disagreed with you not because I 'hate hearing the truth' or because I myself am a white knight, I'm a female, I disagreed with you because in my eyes this is a typical ' nice guys finish last post' with a slight twist.

 

I still don't understand the correlation between you walking away from your 'nice guy' persona and you treating your ex like garbage.

 

I know you wouldn't have brought it up if you didn't want to make a point.

 

We're 6 pages in dude, sh*t or get off the pot, what point were you trying to make by bringing up nice guys and Christian Grey?

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Thatwasthen I wanted to like your post but the new system wouldn't let me so I'll just say I agree. 😊

 

... and I agree with you in most part as well, FIO. Particularly when it comes to THIS opening poster and what has been concluded.

 

I'm not so onboard with the 'groupthink' as you've stated it though. I think its more as being on the same page as to how we've interpreted the dilemma that the opening poster has presented. There are only so many conclusions one can actually come to in any given situation.

 

Cheers

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... and I agree with you in most part as well, FIO. Particularly when it comes to THIS opening poster and what has been concluded.

 

I'm not so onboard with the 'groupthink' as you've stated it though. I think its more as being on the same page as to how we've interpreted the dilemma that the opening poster has presented. There are only so many conclusions one can actually come to in any given situation.

 

Cheers

 

 

Understood, I actually meant in general, not this particular post.

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I did have an agenda posting this. My intention was not to troll nor to offend but I've been reading the posts on this forum for awhile before I created an account and started posting. Most of the topics are from men and women coming from a desperation mindset. I could relate to a lot of the posts and being a man, I can only speak for my own gender, so I thought I shared my two cents of wisdom. It was not my intention to come off as arrogant and reading back on my OP, I don't think I did. I think it's more the case that a lot of people don't like to hear the truth. I totally get it. In my 20s, if someone had accused me of being a white knight, I would be bothered too. But the truth is hard to hear.

 

Yes I do have dating troubles, just like a lot of people do. In no way was I trying to deny that. But my current dating troubles vs the dating troubles I had in my 20s are different. I'd like to think I've evolved. I get fewer dates and connections these days but that has a lot to do with me being pickier and having more self-knowledge and also just having less time and patience for dates that I know will lead to nowhere. I want authentic connections with women who I truly enjoy the company of and it's gotta be mutual too. That's very hard to find. As for women I'm simply attracted to physically, if I feel like we have nothing in common and no connection, I'm not gonna pursue it. I've worked hard in creating a life of my own and I'm busy most of the time.

 

You and I finally agree on something!

 

I get a great deal of attention, but I ignore most of it.to catch my eye is difficult.

I'm picky too. I can have someone, but like you said, you want an authentic connection.

I do also. It's easy to be attracted on looks alone, but I need the whole package.

Rather than saying picky, it should be "selective ", and "knowing what we want, not settling for less."

I know so many people that stay in their relationships just to not be alone.

What a waste. One needs to be happy within themselves first in order to find happiness in a relationship.

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I don't think anyone is questioning anything about your white knightness or anyone else's problems with the syndrome. It's your know-it-all comments about women in general that are offensive, not to mention that you speak for us regarding childbirth and what we as women can withstand because of it. You don't just speak to your own gender, you impose your views on women as if you are one of those as well.

 

How about you come back with examples of real live ways you've changed instead of giving it lip service? You talk the talk but you haven't yet walked the walk. I'd like to hear from you again when you are in a relationship and you're treating your partner with respect and not some object that is there to satisfy your darker issues.

 

You've convinced some (one?) but certainly not all of us of what your agenda here is.

 

I will refrain making specific examples that just spring to my head because it seems like people such as yourself take offense very easily. My examples such as Christian Grey and women experiencing pain during childbirth were meant to reinforce my overall point. I perhaps chose bad examples. But you and other posters have taken them out of context to make personal attacks on my character and you fail to realize they were simply meant to reinforce a broader point. Because of that, this thread has degenerated into personal attacks rather than discussing the topic itself.

 

We indeed live in a very PC-society where everyone must be very careful of what they say. There is no such thing as just saying what's on your mind. Everything must be edited and re-edited. Sounds a lot like the white knight/nice guy behavior to me. No wonder there are so many white knight men out there in society now. Instead of wearing their heart on their sleeve and perhaps making mistakes or saying the wrong thing, we now want men to constantly be self-conscious and put up this facade of perfection and properness. And then women wonder what happened to the spontaneous, genuine men who aren't afraid to speak their mind and show vulnerability.

 

The very attitude and hostility that you and others have displayed on here towards me reinforces my point about how society today is structured towards making men into white knights/nice guys while at the same time blaming that very behavior on why they're not attractive to women.

 

I don't re-edit my posts. When I'm typing these things, I type and then I post. I say what's on my mind. I chose bad examples. I should never have brought up 50 shades of grey or childbirth but that's just the first thing that popped into my mind at the time.

 

Also with you being a female, I refuse to believe that you're attracted to the kind of man who re-edits himself constantly as to not offend others. Somehow, in all my dealings with women in real life, I find they appreciate vulnerability and weakness and mistakes as long as they are made through honest effort. But in online mode where we're all strangers, PC-ness seems to take priority.

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You and I finally agree on something!

 

I get a great deal of attention, but I ignore most of it.to catch my eye is difficult.

I'm picky too. I can have someone, but like you said, you want an authentic connection.

I do also. It's easy to be attracted on looks alone, but I need the whole package.

Rather than saying picky, it should be "selective ", and "knowing what we want, not settling for less."

I know so many people that stay in their relationships just to not be alone.

What a waste. One needs to be happy within themselves first in order to find happiness in a relationship.

 

In my 20s, I had this ideal girl in my head, this fairy tale. The girls I pursued were all ones who matched this fairy tale. Except after many bitter experiences, I realized I'm no Prince myself. I'm flawed just like everyone else. Putting up this persona/facade was a waste of time.

 

Life is messy. Relationships are messy. Humans are messy. That's life. Time to embrace that and accept that.

 

Physically attractive women have more sensitive radars when it comes to detecting authenticity. Mainly because they are approached so often. They get a feel and learn to read men better. So when a truly genuine man comes along, she appreciates it. Even when that genuine man is not the most handsome, most confident, most secure individual. She can detect those white knights who put up this facade from a mile away so she appreciates a truly genuine man. Someone who isn't afraid to admit his own flaws. And also someone who goes after what he wants in life despite all his flaws and insecurities. I truly believe this is what women really want.

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I will refrain making specific examples that just spring to my head because it seems like people such as yourself take offense very easily.
Guess again. I will counter with people like you assume that when someone doesn't agree with your rhetoric, we are offended.

 

My examples such as Christian Grey and women experiencing pain during childbirth were meant to reinforce my overall point. I perhaps chose bad examples.
Perhaps.

 

But you and other posters have taken them out of context to make personal attacks on my character and you fail to realize they were simply meant to reinforce a broader point. Because of that, this thread has degenerated into personal attacks rather than discussing the topic itself.
No one has made this personal until now when you didn't like the fact that your views were being challenged. That is when you assumed that "people such as myself" get offended over something so banal as what you have been proposing.

 

We indeed live in a very PC-society where everyone must be very careful of what they say.
Oh puleeeze. We are not made of glass here and the only thing you have to be around here is profanity free and absent of any religious bias. Those who have challenged your dogma have not been because you have not been "politically correct."

 

There is no such thing as just saying what's on your mind. Everything must be edited and re-edited.
That goes for those who reply as well.

 

Sounds a lot like the white knight/nice guy behavior to me.
Yes, if what you've said has been so but it hasn't been so you talk of white knight as if you know what it actually is when clearly you do not if one were to go on what you've just said.

 

No wonder there are so many white knight men out there in society now.
Codependency is your bane to overcome which you've yet to show tangibly that you have. As I've said, you talk the talk. You even try to drag anyone that disagrees with you into the syndrome along with you which is simply nonsense. No one on this thread has displayed traits of codependency.

 

Instead of wearing their heart on their sleeve and perhaps making mistakes or saying the wrong thing, we now want men to constantly be self-conscious and put up this facade of perfection and properness.
"We?" Hardly! (and yet another example of your generalization instead of you taking responsibility for your own self.

 

And then women wonder what happened to the spontaneous, genuine men who aren't afraid to speak their mind and show vulnerability.
We do? Again you speak for women.

 

The very attitude and hostility that you and others have displayed on here towards me reinforces my point about how society today is structured towards making men into white knights/nice guys while at the same time blaming that very behavior on why they're not attractive to women.
Newsflash, Mr. White Knight. Disagreeing with you does not "reinforce" any of that. You have tunnel vision and you believe you have overcome but by what you post, you haven't overcome anything except now you know what to say to those that buy what you're selling. Congrats!

 

I don't re-edit my posts. When I'm typing these things, I type and then I post. I say what's on my mind. I chose bad examples. I should never have brought up 50 shades of grey or childbirth but that's just the first thing that popped into my mind at the time.
And that is because that is what you actually believe. A cigar is just a cigar. A rose by any other name is just a rose.

 

Also with you being a female, I refuse to believe that you're attracted to the kind of man who re-edits himself constantly as to not offend others.
Not because I'm a female but rather because it's more real. No one likes a bull S*****.

 

Somehow, in all my dealings with women in real life, I find they appreciate vulnerability and weakness and mistakes as long as they are made through honest effort. But in online mode where we're all strangers, PC-ness seems to take priority.
What? PC-ness has nothing to do with anything you've said or haven't said. It's the content, context of most of what you're saying that is being debated.

 

I'm still wondering why this isn't in the general topic sub forum instead of 'dating.' None of any of this has anything to do with dating but everything to do with a self proclaimed 'nice guy' that isn't actually 'nice' at all but an over-compensator that has an underlying dislike of women in general but is trying hard to disguise it or it is subconscious and only comes out in your postings. A typical "nice guy" behaviour, actually.

 

No malice intended in any of that btw... Just me not agreeing with much of what you say whenever you generalize and aren't actually talking about yourself and your history. Those are yours to own.

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I really got off on hurting my ex and then pleading for forgiveness and each time she took me back, I'd be good for awhile and then go back to my ways. It was like a great high when she took me back.

 

True change only occurred after I realized I had gone too far and she was truly done with me. Although like you, she never really stopped caring for me.

 

Oh for petes sake, did you or did you not write this?

 

Now you're a victim because posters see through your 'knowledge of all woman' bull?

 

Your problem isn't that you were too nice, the 'nice guys finish last' excuse is just that an excuse. I find it interesting you had no problem using your ex as a direct example but when asked for other examples to back up your claims you can't do it.

 

I literally still don't know what point you're trying to make. You made mistakes in your relationships and you claim you learned a lot but what that is you can't seem to articulate.

 

You're right though, I haven't asked you to elaborate, no one has, you're just being attacked.

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Oh for petes sake, did you or did you not write this?

 

Now you're a victim because posters see through your 'knowledge of all woman' bull?

 

Your problem isn't that you were too nice, the 'nice guys finish last' excuse is just that an excuse. I find it interesting you had no problem using your ex as a direct example but when asked for other examples to back up your claims you can't do it.

 

I literally still don't know what point you're trying to make. You made mistakes in your relationships and you claim you learned a lot but what that is you can't seem to articulate.

 

You're right though, I haven't asked you to elaborate, no one has, you're just being attacked.

 

I wrote it. And I own it. So what? What's your point? And when did I claim that I have knowledge of all women? That seems to be something you're insinuating and not me.

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Guess again. I will counter with people like you assume that when someone doesn't agree with your rhetoric, we are offended.

 

Perhaps.

 

No one has made this personal until now when you didn't like the fact that your views were being challenged. That is when you assumed that "people such as myself" get offended over something so banal as what you have been proposing.

 

Oh puleeeze. We are not made of glass here and the only thing you have to be around here is profanity free and absent of any religious bias. Those who have challenged your dogma have not been because you have not been "politically correct."

 

That goes for those who reply as well.

 

Yes, if what you've said has been so but it hasn't been so you talk of white knight as if you know what it actually is when clearly you do not if one were to go on what you've just said.

 

Codependency is your bane to overcome which you've yet to show tangibly that you have. As I've said, you talk the talk. You even try to drag anyone that disagrees with you into the syndrome along with you which is simply nonsense. No one on this thread has displayed traits of codependency.

 

"We?" Hardly! (and yet another example of your generalization instead of you taking responsibility for your own self.

 

We do? Again you speak for women.

 

Newsflash, Mr. White Knight. Disagreeing with you does not "reinforce" any of that. You have tunnel vision and you believe you have overcome but by what you post, you haven't overcome anything except now you know what to say to those that buy what you're selling. Congrats!

 

And that is because that is what you actually believe. A cigar is just a cigar. A rose by any other name is just a rose.

 

Not because I'm a female but rather because it's more real. No one likes a bull S*****.

 

What? PC-ness has nothing to do with anything you've said or haven't said. It's the content, context of most of what you're saying that is being debated.

 

I'm still wondering why this isn't in the general topic sub forum instead of 'dating.' None of any of this has anything to do with dating but everything to do with a self proclaimed 'nice guy' that isn't actually 'nice' at all but an over-compensator that has an underlying dislike of women in general but is trying hard to disguise it or it is subconscious and only comes out in your postings. A typical "nice guy" behaviour, actually.

 

No malice intended in any of that btw... Just me not agreeing with much of what you say whenever you generalize and aren't actually talking about yourself and your history. Those are yours to own.

 

 

You seem to have all the right witty answers to anything I write. You can disagree with me but instead of making constructive counter-arguments to my points, you are making personal attacks. That shows again that you're taking what I said out of context and missing the overall point. Others seem to get it and you clearly don't. I'm not exactly sure what you're expecting here.

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I wrote it. And I own it. So what? What's your point? And when did I claim that I have knowledge of all women? That seems to be something you're insinuating and not me.

 

I can't....

 

 

I'll just leave this gem here

 

 

GenX and subsequent generations saw the highest number of households with single mothers. So a lot of children grew up with only one parent, most likely the mother. These mothers due to their experiences passed onto their sons and daughters that men are inherently bad, conniving, cheaters and irresponsible. Add to this the fact that society favors the mother in a divorce and also due to political correctness, you get a generation of young boys who grow up thinking there is something wrong with the male species and feeling a collective sense of guilt. This causes them to be extra cautious and fearful in interactions with women. Ironically, it's the truly gentle and sensitive type of boys who are most impacted by this. They see their mothers struggling growing up and they may actually come to believe that men are inherently bad. So imagine his confusion when he grows up and finds himself turning women off because he's too nice and perplexed that the bad boys are laying women left and right.

 

 

As well as these sentence starters

 

 

 

'Yah most women including ones who hate the novel'

 

'Most women have nurturing instincts and want to help.'

 

 

'But I think all women agree that'

 

 

 

This is all you. You have been claiming it this entire thread. I didn't even try hard to get those, I think I got them all from the first 3 pages.

 

 

I'm not attacking you in anyway shape or form. All in asking is for you to finally tell us what you're really asking here. Stop the bravado, stop the victim role, what are you trying to say?

 

You keep waxing poetic about women and white knights even though you claim to have left that life behind.... you're not a woman or a white knight so what point are you trying to make? What did you learn from driving you ex away with your cruel treatment of her?

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You seem to have all the right witty answers to anything I write. You can disagree with me but instead of making constructive counter-arguments to my points, you are making personal attacks. That shows again that you're taking what I said out of context and missing the overall point. Others seem to get it and you clearly don't. I'm not exactly sure what you're expecting here.

This is gaslighting. I'll leave you to it as it doesn't warrant a response.

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    • Why You Should NEVER Chase Your Ex
      You should NEVER chase your ex, no matter what... even if you want to get back together. In this video, I’ll explain what exactly I mean by that… and why it’s so important if you want your ex back. Here's the simple truth: if you DO want to give yourself the best possible chance of starting over with your ex, you simply CANNOT let yourself start chasing them… it just doesn’t work, even though it’s the natural human reaction to a breakup and often feels like the right way to get them back. Even if you DON'T want your ex back, you still shouldn't let yourself chase after them. Watch the full video to find out why...

       
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    • How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩
      How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩... In this dating advice video, I will explain to you how to know she’s the one and give you five signs she’s the one as well as give you one red flag that you need to look out for. You may want to know whether she’s the one on first dates, online dating, or somewhere in the dating process. Take heed to these dating tips and be sure to watch the entire video.

       
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    • 5 Odd Signs You're Seeking Approval from Others Outside of Yourself
      In this YouTube Video, Lisa A Romano discusses 5 signs that indicate you're still seeking approval from others outside of you. If you are codependent, and you struggle with self-love, you may not realize the signs you're seeking approval from others. Childhood trauma and emotional neglect lead to a sense of feeling unseen. If you feel unseen, you may seek approval in odd ways. It may not be obvious when you are looking for validation from others. In this video, Lisa A Romano breaks down these 5 signs, and what they mean; hypervigilance, neediness, low self-worth, never feeling fulfilled and what it means when you become a perpetual seeker.

       
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    • 3 Simple Strategies To Ditch The Imposter Syndrome
      Have you ever felt like you're a fraud who doesn't belong? According to a recent article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, seven in every ten people have or will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. We couldn't see our tribe suffering from this anymore, so we brought in the person who'll help you ditch this feeling for good. In this video, peak performance expert Shadé Zahrai joins Vishen to discuss how to supercharge your life and improve your self-esteem by constructing your own reality, leveraging your self-awareness, and regaining control over your inner critic

       
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    • 5 Things People Who’ve Been Mentally Abused Do
      Do you know how common mental abuse is? According to The National Center for Biotechnology Information, 80 percent of the population has experienced some form of abusive relationship and behavior. However, despite how frequent it is, emotional abuse is still hard to spot. Unlike physical abuse, mental abuse doesn’t leave any visible scars; instead, it affects someone’s behavior, mindset, and mentality. This means some people deny they’ve been mentally abused, and others may not even recognize the toxic behavior. So, whether you’re reading this to be able to recognize emotional abuse in others or recognize it in yourself, these a few things people who’ve been mentally abused do are sure to help you be more empathetic and kinder.

       
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