Married but crushing on my doctor just need to vent

[ladyjj]

I need to just get this out, and not sure where this post belongs. But basically I am a married 50 something female that has fallen or is obsessed with my doctor who is about my age.

 

I felt an instant connection from first visit, the problem was I broke my ankles and he was the surgeon and I had to see him 7 times over about 5 months, if I only saw him 1 time, it would have been just a wow he's handsome and no biggie, lot's of men are handsome right.

 

So not only handsome but he was funny, very friendly, flirty, and I just felt like he was acting strange, nervous, stumbling over his words. He did and said some odd things such as he touched a sequin on my dress on my knee and said I like your sequins. Just a random (innocent) touch, who does that? He touched my hand and said what can we do about your arthritis deformity (he is only a foot ankle doctor, I have RA and bad hands), completely unprovoked, I have never had a doctor go out of there way to try to help beyond there specialty or why I am there.

 

He acted like he knew me and said things like I know you won't do this or that, even my husband was in room and my husband made a joke about me skating or something, and doc looked at me and cocked his head as if he knew me and shook his head no, winked and smiled he looked at me I looked at him, and we just locked eyes, the first few visits we joked, then I got tongue tied and basically just stared at him and said very little, he winked a few times and just acted like he knew what I was thinking and I felt like I was reading his thoughts. His personality was odd, nervous, just like mine really. On 2nd to last visit, he did xrays and range of motion, and I was doing good on both. He said I normally do another follow up but you seem fine so you can make an appointment but cancel it if everything is ok. Like he is trying to have me not come back. But I made the last appt and went and he walked in the room and mumbled "the hair" from behind me as he walked in. It had been 2 months, and my hair has grown.

 

He is married, I am married, I know all about doctor patient rules etc. I know this is wrong, I am normally not like this, but I am obsessed and or delusional, I am not sure which one, not even sure if these things were just normal interaction. Either way I am troubled that I can't let this go, I know I will over time, I have no more appointments, and will never go back or contact him. I am sad to admit that my marraige has some problems but is also good in lots of ways. It is hard to admit that I might have a problem, do I have a problem? Does this happen to other married folk?? I like to think I am well adjusted but I think I am imaging more than what was there...how could a married doctor, really be interested in a married patient. So therefore I must have read into things. But I still felt such a strong strange connection. I also felt like he felt the same way.......again that sounds horrible...how would I know that, which makes me wonder if I am delusional??

[Pleasedonot5]

You felt a connection with someone. That's okay. Don't let anyone tell you it's not okay.

 

Now, you're married, and you also have a loving bond with your husband. You've built your lives together and have grown together. It's time to recognize that although you will have those you are attracted to - to your husband is whom you swore your vows. Let this fantasy play out in your head and then let it fade. But don't act on it, and don't go back to that doctor.

[chitown9]

You are not delusional, but nothing is going to come of this...so it is a mute point really.

[Shania1234]

either you don't love your husband like you should or you're bored in your marriage to be picking up sign from other men that could just be the way they are with other patients or they're trying to play it out to see your reaction/get a reaction out of you for the heck of it. I think you need to not go back there before u make yourself a fool

he is married. you're also married and he's inappropriate and you're not seeing it because you're too busy thinking with your vagina. it's no different than a man thinking with his penis.

[Clio]

You need to take him off the pedestal. If he was indeed flirting, he was being inappropriate and that's a bad sign regarding his character. No decent person would hit on a married patient.

 

It sounds like you are not happy in your marriage. Being open to such vibes imo indicates that you are open to seeking affection outside your marriage. You need to reflect on why is that and address the reason.

[ladyjj]

I do have issues in my marraige, my husband has ED, and has for years, but I was ok with that, except for when I find another man very attractive and feel some kind of connection, that is the only time I think about it, and that is not often. My husband is very loving and a great man and we are affectionate. But I do know he loves me more than I love him, he is quite a bit older than me, I have always been very insecure which is why I went for him, I feel very secure and comfortable with him, which I don't with a lot of people. That is probably where my problem is.

[Seraphim]

Time to switch to a new doctor.

[Unreasonable]

No offense, but I bet he's that way with all the girls. And, so far, he hasn't done anything particularly wrong.

 

I'm not gonna say delusional, but probably overestimating his "connection" with you. Definitely obsessed, and I would strongly advise getting another doctor, and seeing a therapist to get to the root problem if you can't let it go yourself (which it sounds like you can't).