Would this bother you? Or am I being a child!

[sandysacha]

I started working with this amazing Marketing guy one year ago bec he happened to be part of my networking group where I met him every week! 6 months later we were dating-

His Ex girlfriend happens to be in the same networking group but they are now just friends. When he started doing my marketing the agreement was that he would charge me $250 per month for 8 months and then go up to $1000/month. So 2 months ago (4 months into dating and telling me that he's in love with me and has never ever felt this way about anyone before)- he addressed our agreement and said that his business partner has been asking him why we have not raised my charge to $1000 per month as we had agreed- So i said yes of course- business is business- and so we raised it- I now pay $1000/month-

Then I find out that he has been doing all the marketing for FREE for his Ex- for the last four years and continues to do so now! I asked about it and he said "yes youre right but I'm going to raise her to regular rate too- in Jan".

I felt deeply hurt and am not quite sure why-

Would this bother you? And if so what would you do??

Thanks!

[rosephase]

It would bother me. But I think it's super complicated to mix work and relationships especially when you are directly paying the other person for services. If I was in your shoes I would keep dating him and pay someone else to do your marketing. Then his choices about who he charges and how much aren't an issue for you. When I do personal work for friends/partners/family I tend to take a lot of different things into account with how much a charge them. A big one being how much they can afford.

[DancingFool]

OK, so business came first and you had a formal contract with him or rather his company and he has a partner to answer to. His partner requested that contract be enforced.

I'd guess that what he does for his ex was always done on the side and not as part of this formal deal with his company and partner involved, thus the difference. So, three things. Either keep business strictly separate and pay what you've agreed because you are profiting from the results and thus it's making it worthwhile for you. In other words, you are doing business with a marketing company and not really our bf directly. OR, cancel the formal contract and ask him if he will do it for you on the side for free as your bf and informally and also anticipate that he won't necessarily be as professional or attentive to your business because now he is simply doing his gf a favor. OR, engage someone else so you don't have to mix business and pleasure and keep your relationship clean so to speak. I'd go with the last option to be honest. Unless he is really brilliant and the money spent is well worth it.

[HeartGoesOn]

Would this bother you? And if so what would you do??

 

Yes, it certainly would bother me.

 

Either way, unless there are children involved, anyone who is in this type of contact,with an ex to this degree would not be considered dating material, (imo).

 

It's your call, but I suspect there's more to this on his end.

[sandysacha]

He owns the company! Its his company- He gets to tell his partner what he wants to do...

[sandysacha]

omg wow that Quote!!

Thank you for this! Needed to hear this!

[ThatwasThen]

$1,000/month? Did you get a second quote from an independent firm?

 

As for your question. It would bother me too and I would be asking him to go back to the $250.00 until January as well. It's THE least he could do.

[sandysacha]

Thank you!

[DancingFool]

He owns the company! Its his company- He gets to tell his partner what he wants to do...

 

So does he have a partner or not? What you are saying here doesn't make sense in the context of partnership. Not how partnerships work.

 

Honestly, I'd just move my business elsewhere. Fewer headaches that way. Keep your business and finances strictly separate from your relationships.

[sandysacha]

Yes agree! He is 60% partner and the other guy is 40%

And clearly for four years the "partner" was fine with his Ex getting free services.

[j.man]

How do you know how much or little he's invoicing who? In any case, it might bother me, but I'd have no idea what preceded such an agreement, whether it was in return of some favor or investment on her end, whether the services he's providing her are relatively limited, or whatever else. Wouldn't really be my business to know and my mind really isn't the type to wander when it comes to things that aren't my business.

 

Up to you how personally you want to take it after considering what all else is right or wrong in your relatively new relationship.

[mia500]

You should be his first priority. You aren't wrong for being upset. You should firmly let him know that it bothers you and ask why she hasn't been paying. I might go to someone else, however, to be charged. That type of love-business relationship can be hard.

[catfeeder]

First, I wouldn't involve myself with anyone who is still involved with an ex in any way, shape, or form beyond shared children. You're learning WHY.

 

Second, I'd get other quotes and take my business to a neutral party. See where the relationship goes on a level playing field, although, it's not exactly a level field when there's an ex in the picture.