Fran2 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Hi guys. Don't really want to go into details. Thought he was my soulmate. This was not young and impressionable love wither, both of us were in our mid thirties when we met. I genuinely never felt this way about anyone ever. We also lost a baby which devastated me. It has been over for two years. However, and call me stupid, but it took therapy for me to realize this and i'm still struggling to accept it, he was abusive. Never beat me or so much as raised his voice towards me, but he was highly manipulative, effectively isolated me from everyone, interfered with my work, and undermined my confidence. Of course when I met him, prince Charming was not enough to describe what he was. When I ended up in a relationship with Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde it all happened very gradually.Up to the bitter end,Dr Jeckyll was (seemingly) as close to a perfect love as anything and Mr Hyde, well, hated me apparently. After being engaged, almost having a baby and living together for 3 years, when he discarded me over the phone (several phone calls actually. tormenting me once was not enough, he kept calling for 3 days straight just to tell me he never loved me and he was faking it so he wouldn't lose me and finally to ask me for nude pictures to "remember me by" - yes,for anyone reading, no contact is the ONLY way to go, not to have them back, but to have YOU back and save yourself the heartache). I may sound like a doormat but I did end all contact with him and NEVER initated again to this day. First there were breacrumbs (another pro tip, don't respond, I'm thankful I never did), then came the suicide threats, then the unsolicited messages to offer me "closure" I never asked him for, then the magnanimus messages to tell me "his door is always open" and the really messed up message faking a shooting (yes, he actually texted he was involved in a shooting, about to die and wanted to talk to me, which is the only thing that ever got a response for me. Turns out, he was lying and of course there was no mass shooting anywhere near him). He is blocked on everything but yes, you guessed it. two years after, and while I'm just beginning something nice with someone I admittedly am not as head over heels with (not to say I dont have genuine feelings for the new guy in any way) but might actually be decent to me for a change, ex from hell starts calling, first anonymously and yesterday I received an outpour of messages begging me to talk to him. I know what I need to do. But I am so angry it physically hurts. Getting over him and his deception was like an actual death for me. It took me a year just to start feeling human again, and he has the audacity to, what exactly? Catch up? Whatever for? He does owe me a significant amount of money and one of the (no doubt drunken) messages from last night mentions he wants to repay me part of it which he bloody well should, but I am sooo angry because I was doing great and now I am a pile of nerves and why the hell do I allow him to make me feel like this? I know I should not answer but part of me wants to. I don't want him back, but I spent years wondering how he discarded me in a way as to cause the maximum amount of pain and he seemed to enjoy hurting me. I think I did textbook right. Once he said it was over I didn't pled, I didn't call, I didn't ask for a second chance, I just gave him my silence, blocked, never reacted. But that hurt then and it hurts now and I was doing great and now I feel all the pain and the rejection and the feelings of wothlessness he made me feel back in the day, so please, guys and gals, talk some sense into me. Is it normal to still be affected? What do I do? Link to comment
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