I don’t want to think about my ex anymore

[missanne]

So my ex and I broke up last Saturday. It’s been a little over a week. We were together for almost 5 years. I know it’s going to take time to move on from this but ugh I just wish I could fast forward a couple months to where him and his unfaithfulness wasn’t the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. I know he is still with this person too and she is now staying with him at his house. I haven’t had any contact with him since last week and I don’t plan to. It just bothers me because I dont get the feeling that he feels bad for doing a terrible thing to the girl he was with for 5 years. When I found out, he still tried to lie and said it wasn’t a sexual thing but I later found pictures of the 2 of them in bed together so I know this was a lie. He did say he was sorry and that he wasn’t a good person to be with right now but it just doesn’t feel good enough. I want to know that he knows how badly he messed up bc I know in time, he will come to that realization. I mean 5 years is a long time, yeah things weren’t perfect but I know he loved and cared about me at some point. It wouldn’t make any difference, I am never getting back together with this person but I just feel like I am the only one suffering for his actions and it isn’t fair. Is this a normal response? Sometimes I cry because I am hurt by what he did/is doing, other times I am angry and still shocked that someone I thought I knew could betray me that way. It’s just a clustef*** of emotions and I just want to feel better and like myself again. Im trying to do things to help myself, I’ve been exercising everyday, hanging out with my best friend and talking about it. Writing these posts helps too. I have gotten rid of his things, burned a couple pictures, took down things that remind me of him. I’m trying to do whatever I can to move on from this place as quickly as possible. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice?

[mike7788]

The only thing that can help you move on fully is time.

 

I'd like you to come back to this post in a couple months.

 

What I see in your post are a bunch of things that don't matter in your process of healing.

 

Does he feel bad about it? No answer, whether yes or no, will make you feel any better.

Will he realize down the road that he messed up? The same answer I gave above.

 

None of these intricate though processes or questions matter much when you have to heal and move on.

 

Focus less on wanting him to feel remorse and focus more on you trying to get better.

 

Of course these are all natural feelings and I don't discourage you for feeling them - but try to ignore those thoughts the most.

 

Time will heal, you just have to give it.