Jump to content

Allbymyself4
 Share

Recommended Posts

My bestfriend is dealing with something right now, and wanted me to ask you guys for advice.

 

She is 19 years old, and has had a major crush on this 5 years older guy, for a long time. They started following each other on Instagram a couple of months ago, and then he suddenly DM’d her. The first time they met, they had sex, and after that they have been meeting up almost everyday. He always gives her compliments, and claims her when they are out in public. He even gets sad or irritated when she has other plans or can’t sleep over one night. He even booked a three-day trip for them to another country, and is paying for everything.

 

The problem Here is that he always talks about his good friends that are girls, he mentions it a lot. It can also go 1-2 days before they even talk again, and he doesnt really text her first or even asks how she is. She is very confused by this, because she really wants a relationship with this guy. Based on What I have written, What do you think his intentions are? And should she ask him What they are?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He sounds immature and insecure. He has issues. People like this can become toxic so your friend needs to be careful. Even if he has good intentions, a relationship with many ups and downs is not healthy. Drama is not healthy. She needs to learn to set boundaries and ask what she wants. She should ask him what they are. If they are having sex, she has every right to know. She also needs to discuss with him openly all the behaviors that are bothering her. Healthy relationships are about COMMUNICATION, trust and respect. If he keeps neglecting these aspects then your friend should walk. Toxic relationships are bad for the soul.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I could imagine she would be feeling confused. It is important I would say to get to know somebody's values and know if they are upright etc, before sleeping with them....otherwise you would just develop feelings for them and it could just be a big mess.....

 

So....yeah, there is a great chance this guy sleeps with lots of girls and direct messages other girls .....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So she's 19.

He's 24.

 

As a 24 year old, I would have zero interest in someone below the age of 21. Why? Because the maturity gap between 19 and 24 is crazy. It's only 5 years, but it's also the period in time where people change drastically. There's a few points in time in our lives this happens, the whole gap from 19 to 24 is definitely one of them. Tell your friend she should date people more around her age, guys who are 24 aren't going to be actually serious about dating 19 year olds. I'm sorry but that's the general reality. From what you're saying it sounds like he's excited to have hooked a 19 year old who clearly is infatuated with him. It's an easy pull, and he's only now noticed her when she's grown up and is something he physically is interested in. Guys like this are smooth talkers, and I'm sorry for your friend but the best advice I can give her as a 24 year old is to drop him. He's using her and he's putting her on a silver platter in front of everyone because she's a trophy and she feels special, then occupies his time with other people because having a relationship with her is not really on the table for him. She's 19. Splashing cash, taking her out, complimenting her, being possessive, etc.. then not even texting her or caring about her day? No, that's not normal "I'm 24 and I like you" behavior from a dude. Your friend needs to get over the guy and not be apart of his web, no shame to his game, but it is a game and she's playing her part perfectly for him right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

His intentions are exactly what he is showing them to be - to use, control, and manipulate a young naive girl as is convenient for him. My advice for your friend is RUUUUN, but I'm guessing she'll have to get burned pretty badly by this toxic guy before she learns that what he is doing is a huge problem. For one, possessiveness and jealousy are flashing neon signs for "RUUUUUN for dear life and don't leave a forwarding address either"....but I suspect your friend will have to learn this the hard way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • 3 Simple Strategies To Ditch The Imposter Syndrome
      Have you ever felt like you're a fraud who doesn't belong? According to a recent article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, seven in every ten people have or will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. We couldn't see our tribe suffering from this anymore, so we brought in the person who'll help you ditch this feeling for good. In this video, peak performance expert Shadé Zahrai joins Vishen to discuss how to supercharge your life and improve your self-esteem by constructing your own reality, leveraging your self-awareness, and regaining control over your inner critic

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Things People Who’ve Been Mentally Abused Do
      Do you know how common mental abuse is? According to The National Center for Biotechnology Information, 80 percent of the population has experienced some form of abusive relationship and behavior. However, despite how frequent it is, emotional abuse is still hard to spot. Unlike physical abuse, mental abuse doesn’t leave any visible scars; instead, it affects someone’s behavior, mindset, and mentality. This means some people deny they’ve been mentally abused, and others may not even recognize the toxic behavior. So, whether you’re reading this to be able to recognize emotional abuse in others or recognize it in yourself, these a few things people who’ve been mentally abused do are sure to help you be more empathetic and kinder.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Polarity Secrets to Attracting Love that Makes you Magnetic AF
      In this video, I'm going to show you the 5 most powerful ways to create polarity in order to attract love. Think of it like a magnet. If you have a magnet, it is going to attract, but also repel based on its polarity. If you have a positive and a positive and you put them together, guess what's gonna happen? They're going to repel each other. Same with a negative and negative. But when you have a positive and a negative, they clink right like this. The key to attracting love is embodying your own sense of polarity, which really is the authenticity of who you really are, letting go of what you are not so that you can attract love easier than ever. These are things that completely transformed my own life.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 10 Signs You Are Fake Happy
      Are you happy, or are you putting on a fake smile? Fake happiness can be hard to detect, but if you know the signs you can spot it.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Do You Gaslight Yourself?
      Do You Gaslight Yourself?
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...