Lonergirl12 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hi , So I’ve been in a long distance relationship for about 2 years now with someone I have known for almost 3 years. At the start things were going great there was lots of affection and soul capturing love that which you get from Long distance relationships. slowly after a year of dating things have hit a rapid decline. So arguments on top of arguments on top of arguments . Getting to the point where I can’t express my own religious beliefs I can’t talk about certain things because my s/o is so opinionated and head strong. it’s getting to the point where after every argument I will be BLCOKED on all social media platforms and my number will also be blocked. Since we are long distance I cannot just come over to his house and reconcile the blocking is slowly breaking me into tiny pieces. After a few hours or days he unblocks me and then I have to figure out on what platform I’m on unblocked on and then literally beg my ass off just because I love this person. It’s getting to the stage now where it’s every week I’m getting blocked for the most smaller meaningless things and I’m constantly begging . I’m reaching a realisation that this can’t be right or healthy or even the person for me . But I just don’t know what to do even though I haven’t met this person it’s been a matter of years and years. We did decide to take a break a month ago and things were looking good but a few days after that I got BLOcked for another stupid reason. Today it happened to be because I wasn’t on the phone for long enough . And that angered him in the morning . To want to block me. Someone please advise me on what to do I’m lost and tangled in all this mess. I do love this person selflessly more than I have ever loved Drop advise below Link to comment
Keyman Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 You can love someone to the moon and back, but that might not stop them from beating you within inches of your life. Love should not be the justification to remain in a relationship that has turned toxic. And this relationship is toxic. He is effectively emotionally abusing you by constantly blocking you and making you beg to come back again. My suggestion would be that next time he blocks you, just stop and never go back. Do doubt he will expect you to go through the same process to get back, which is giving him all the power, by the way. If you stop and say no more, and mean it, you take the power back. This can also cause him to actually try to get you back again. Take a break from this relationship and after a period of healing, try to meet someone that lives near you and have a close - distancewise - relationship. Link to comment
Lonergirl12 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 update , just unblocked me about the reason i mentioned at the bottom (not being on the phone for long enough causing him to get angry) . if you see what i mean , its always dilly dallying with unblocking and blocking there is NO stability whatsoever. And youre right and the thought of just saying F **ck IT one day has crossed my mind all too man times. but there is such a huge part of me that just wants to keep begging and keep fighting.i feel like one day it will all just be too much and too familiar and there will be no other choice but to say F**CK it Link to comment
Lonergirl12 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 also Thank You by the way. this meant a lot. seeing someone care enough to respond i appreciate it Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Give your head a shake. Begging, pleading, whining is no way to have a relationship. Especially with someone you've never met! Stop doing this to yourself. I agree this is very toxic. It's not even a real relationship, you dont really know this guy, never met him. He keeps jerking your chain because he can. You allow him to treat you like crap, beg for another chance, and then he does it again. Have some self respect and move on from this guy. Surely you can do better with a real life person you can see and spend time with. Time for you to block this guy from ever contacting you again. This is not love. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 ....You are allowing some guy you've never even met to abuse you and treat you like dirt.....think on that.....and then maybe do some blocking and deleting of your own. Link to comment
willdation Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hmmm...maybe you both need to sit down and say that you should both next time try and communicate in a more mature and loving way when there is a dispute...and if things are going to get heated....just have both ya go for a walk to calm down..... It's not a deal breaker.....you both just need to only discuss things when you both are more calmed down......as arguing is never good for any relationship IMO.....but hey...we all tend to do it at some points....just need to work at it.. oh and next time he blocks ya...dont ask him to unblock and keep it blocked until HE asks.... Link to comment
Mikey383 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 update , just unblocked me about the reason i mentioned at the bottom (not being on the phone for long enough causing him to get angry) . if you see what i mean , its always dilly dallying with unblocking and blocking there is NO stability whatsoever. And youre right and the thought of just saying F **ck IT one day has crossed my mind all too man times. but there is such a huge part of me that just wants to keep begging and keep fighting.i feel like one day it will all just be too much and too familiar and there will be no other choice but to say F**CK it *Emotional Abuse* and you are allowing it, and feeding into it. Maybe you should "block" him? See what happens then? People that do that are immature and selfish. Imagine the future with someone that acts this way when you live with them for good.... Do you really deserve the abuse? Link to comment
Lonergirl12 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 its extremely emotionally abusive and me being as vulnerable and shattered i end up holding on for dear life rather than letting go. my self esteem is completely shattered i feel like i cant do any better and that im not lovable when im the most loving pure individual as heart. this whole thing has just continually exposed me and my inability to just let go of toxicity Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 He's conditioning you. You get punished when you say or do something he doesn't like and rewarded for your begging and submission. It's blatantly abusive. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Someone used to a version of this to me and I warned him, if he ran away one more time and threatened to break up with me, I'd hold him to it. And I did. He never intended to . .he just would pull the abandonment card because it was a powerful tool that gets a big reaction. It slowly and subtly wears you down. Don't buy into it. Break up or not? Break up. Link to comment
Lonergirl12 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 Thank you for sharing your opinion on this all. it’s a real big mess I almost feel as though I’m so conditioned and my self confidence is so shattered that I just settle. When I get blocked each time I enter into a manic state that blinds me. I need to get the courage to just say no more. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 You need to get some professional counseling, OP. And I say that in kindness. There is something very wrong when you allow a virtual stranger to abuse and manipulate you like this. Look, this guy isn't your boyfriend. He's an online buddy but what you're describing isn't a relationship. It's a toxic power game for him, and you believe it's love. It's not. Please, do get the help you clearly need. This is wrong and destructive on so many levels, and it's no way to live. Delete and block him so you can work on loving yourself and meeting a guy locally who actually respects you. This joker just doesn't. Link to comment
caro33 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 You need to get some professional counseling, OP. And I say that in kindness. There is something very wrong when you allow a virtual stranger to abuse and manipulate you like this. Look, this guy isn't your boyfriend. He's an online buddy but what you're describing isn't a relationship. It's a toxic power game for him, and you believe it's love. It's not. Please, do get the help you clearly need. This is wrong and destructive on so many levels, and it's no way to live. Delete and block him so you can work on loving yourself and meeting a guy locally who actually respects you. This joker just doesn't. I absolutely agree. You've got yourself into a state, but you can definitely get out with some gentle guidance from someone you can talk to in person. This guy sound like he's trolling you, it's despicable. Link to comment
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