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Should I ask him out first?


electricorchid

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I met this guy last night, he was incredibly shy but kept making eye contact with me almost the entire night. I kept looking back at him too kind of to hint at him, but he never did anything about it. Sooner than later, my friend goes to the bar to get another drink, As she's walking back to his friend grabs her and says to her that "My friend likes your friend and would like to meet her outside to talk to her if that's okay. Can you tell her?" So my friend obviously grabs me, and tells me all excitedly.

 

We go outside to the smoke room, and we chat with them.. I then notice his friend (who was cute in a nerdy way) was way more outgoing than the guy I was interested in. He was dressed in this great leather jacket,with awesome shoes.. he defenitly looked really good but I was surprised someone as attractive as him was shy. Let's call him "John"

 

I however am a pretty outgoing person, John found me funny as he was laughing at my jokes and we had good conversation. Then John invited me to go eat with him and his friend so the four of us went and we just sat and talked for some more, while we all ate some fries.

 

They then offered to take us home in their motorcycles, and as we spoke outside my apartment, John's friend asked for my friends number and John and I heard, John then asked for my phone number too. Whats weird I asked john to give me his last name and he was like "Nope, my name is just john." he didnt give me his last name! lol. Weird, we said goodbye.. I thanked them for everything. & I went up to my apt. with my friend.

 

He hasnt texted me all day, although he's super shy and doesnt seem to make first moves should I text him first? He was really nice, but in the past what Ive noticed is if someone REALLY WANTS to keep in touch they will. So the other half of me is trusting my past instincts.

 

What is your stance on texting/asking a guy out first?

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I think its great when you actually KNOW the guy like you've met at school or at a shared interest or something like that but in your instance, I'd wait. You don't know these guys and I find that him not willing to give you his last name rather suspect. My advice, wait and see if he calls you and then don't rush into anything with him until you really get to know him.

 

I'm a mother of a daughter and my heart skipped a beat when you said you got on the back of a motorcycle with some guy you only know as "John."

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I think its great when you actually KNOW the guy like you've met at school or at a shared interest or something like that but in your instance, I'd wait. You don't know these guys and I find that him not willing to give you his last name rather suspect. My advice, wait and see if he calls you and then don't rush into anything with him until you really get to know him.

 

I'm a mother of a daughter and my heart skipped a beat when you said you got on the back of a motorcycle with some guy you only know as "John."

 

second every word of that !

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If he's not so shy as to ask your phone number, he's not too shy to text. I also find it weird he wouldn't divulge his last name. I've never had success with making the first move. If a guy wants to snap you up before anyone else, he will make the move, especially as I'm sure he could see your interest.

 

If you want to try though, he will either ignore you or respond, so if you have nothing to lose and can handle rejection if it goes that route, go ahead. If he does respond, let him be making an equal effort after that and don't always be the first to reach out. You need to gauge his interest in case he's only responding to be kind. And if you do establish a connection, and he doesn't ask you out within 2 weeks, move on.

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If he's not so shy as to ask your phone number, he's not too shy to text. I also find it weird he wouldn't divulge his last name. I've never had success with making the first move. If a guy wants to snap you up before anyone else, he will make the move, especially as I'm sure he could see your interest... And if you do establish a connection, and he doesn't ask you out within 2 weeks, move on.

 

 

ABSOLUTELY agree. Thanks so much.

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I would not text him first.

 

You don't know him well enough to decide he's shy and doesn't want to make the first move. Perhaps he's got a girlfriend and was out on the prowl and wants to wait until the gf won't notice, who knows.

 

If you already knew him, I would say sure, send him a quick message. But for a guy who you just met, who wouldn't give you his last name, and asked you for your number - no. Let him make the first move here. Get a better sense of what he's about through his actions.

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you gain more by waiting for him to text first

if he's interested he will text

if you text him first he might just be responding and you'll never know how interested he is

having said that, just because he shoot you a text first doesn't mean he is definitely 100% keen or interested or serious

but based on my experience (which is not a lot), sit back and wait, you'll gauge more.

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