Jump to content

Can I trust my boyfriend again after all his lies or is it the end?


Recommended Posts

So my boyfriend and I are both 25, have been together for around 2.5 years and were friends before we got serious.


At the beginning of our relationship I found out that he had been sleeping with his ex behind my back. I said that I was done and didn't need to be in a relationship that has already been unfaithful. However, he managed to change my mind and said that it was a big mistake and that it was me he wanted to be with and that he wanted to come travelling with me (I had already planned to go before we got together). So in the end I decided to forgive him, we were really happy and went travelling together and I tried to forgive him for hurting me.


But things started to get bad when he started telling me stupid lies about things and I started to feel like he was not trust worthy and it kept bringing back the memories of when he cheated on me which caused arguments. Time went on and we finally arrived home and he got a new job. As usual he started making friends with a lot of females at work and started going out with colleagues on work nights out. I tried not to think too much of this and tried to trust him. however, when I took a trip to Australia with my Dad, I found out that he had gone round to a girls house after a night out. He insisted that it was nothing and that another male friend was also there. I believed him but just recently he admitted that he lied about the guy being there and that he was there alone with this girl. I broke down and begged him to tell me the truth about what happened but he still insisted that nothing happened and it was just friends hanging out. However I still feel that he has disrespected me by doing that as he never intended to tell me he was ever there so if I hadn't have found out myself he never would have told me. Also why would he then need to add another lie by saying another male was present so that it wouldn't look so bad.


Am I just being paranoid/jealous or should I be worried? Before this happened he also sneakily went out of his way to pick her up for work without telling me, which is why I had suspicions he went round her house that night and turned out I was right. He has also lied about a number of other things that I won't go into as theres too many to talk about.


He's also been showering me with gifts over the past few months, and ironically, as I write this I have just had a flower delivery from him...


I feel like I can't trust him at all and hate when he goes out because of everything he has lied about. I've begged him to be honest with me even if he thinks he's trying to save my feelings but he seems incapable of doing it. I have tried to leave multiple times but he always wins me round and I am starting to feel like I have lost all self-respect for myself by staying with him. At this point there are days when I don't even like him at all but then I still care for him so I don't know what to do.


Can you even learn to trust someone again after having it broken so many times?

Link to comment
You're right. I feel stupid for staying for so long. I don't know why I'm finding it so hard to just leave.

Leaving is uncertain. Many people fear being alone, ironically enough those people typically end up in worse relationships than others who are content alone.


I really don't even see what there is to try to salvage. If you want to be happy I would think your best shot is to scrap with POS and try to see why you even tolerated him as long as you did.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...