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Issue while we were dating


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We have been married 2 years and dated a long time before we were married (16yrs)

5 years into our relationship my wife , then gf went on a cruise with 4 of her girlfriends.


When she got back she acted sort of strange and i suspected something happened shed denied it said she flirted a little and did say her friends hooked up with guys..

Over the years i did suspect and said so be... she always denied it. A year ago...(after being married 1 yr) she said she in fact did have a 1 night stand on the cruise.

After she told me I looked at her photo album collection and found an album of the cruise. Sure enough there were at least 7 pictures of this guy with her draped all over him even sitting on his lap ( he is younger and much more buff than me). when I brought all this up we had big fights, she said it meant nothing, she said she had been drinking, would get very defensive...even told me he made her "feel sexy". When asked why she kept the pics she couldn't explain mind you they were printed and organized into a photo album. we had numerous fights and she said it happened a long time ago and I need to get over it (13 yrs ago) which is correct. So I went to see a counselor who basically said to let it go which i was struggling with. fast forward 6 months after telling me this and now she is telling me that she flirted with the guy...went back to his cabin and he basically date raped her (she wont tell me anymore than this much)

At this point I do not know what to do I know the whole thing haunts me and also I do not understand

1) why she kept the pics

2) Why she didnt tell her friends

3) why after the cruise she let her girl friend call him and get the 3 of them on the phone at the same time

4) 6 months after the cruise at a bar , she was with same Gfs and I show up(she knew i might becoming..was getting home from out of town) I find her sitting on some guys lap I would think after going through what happened on the cruise she would tone down the flirting with strange guys


I want to let this go i want to forget it..but I cant help

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Walk away. It hurts. You don't deserve that. She has the mentality, " What you don't know can't hurt you." She has no problem sitting in it (literally).


I'm sorry. My ex had that mentality. She broke it off, but it's one of the things that tells me she's not long term worthy. You've invested lots of time already.


Do what you think is right, but I say walk away and tell her why. If she chases you down...make her earn you, but know she's susceptible to that mentality.


Idk. I just think she's treating you like garbage.

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