How should I go from here?

[cruzer]

We're co-workers. We help each other and talk/make conversation every day. I did something sweet for her and she was very thankful. Another co-worker noticed it and was talking to her about it and eventually asked the girl if she liked me. The girl just smiled real big but didn't answer.

 

I assume if she had a boyfriend she would have just answered with that. I assume if it was no she would have just said. Fair to assume that or good chance I'm wrong?

 

Anyways so the day before my week vacation I gave her my number. I know it's not the best move but it's what I did. I assume she has to realize that means I'm interested? I Didn't say anything like let's go on a date or anything

 

The day before I come back to work(also my birthday) she texts me saying "Hello hello

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y

TO YOU!!!

 

My best wishes for you (my name), I hope that you have a wonderful day with your family and friends...

 

P.S don't drink too much! (Kidding 😁

 

(Her name)"

 

We text a few times after that.

 

So my question comes along because several months ago I was told she had a boyfriend. But she wouldn't ever talk about him when asked and never brought him up(with co-workers, not that I asked)

 

And after my first girlfriend of 3 years I've had several women give me a month or 2 of their time then leave for no apparent/obvious reasons. And when asked why they say they don't know, or I'm too good(lies), etc

 

In the end they all want to "be friends" which means they don't want to do anything with me, but want me to be a listening ear when they need to vent or helping hand when they need help

 

It may be wrong of me or make me mean but I just don't want anything to do with that. So basically I want to find out of this girl is interested in dating or not. If not I'm not interested in friends. So I need to find out but don't want to come across as rude or looking for sex, etc

 

So how? If she text me again is it too soon/straightforward to ask if she has a boyfriend?

If she don't text do I text her? I feel like she is interested. I'd hope she didn't let me have her number for nothing

 

Thanks

[Nicole143]

You don't need to straight up ask her if she has a boyfriend. The simplest way to find out is to ask her on a date. (When the time is right). If she Yes and she is in a relationship. That's a red flag and if she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend then she's willing to cheat on you. If she says no and she has a boyfriend, then that's your answer. If she says yes and she has no boyfriend, then you're in luck! If she says no and she doesn't have a boyfriend, then she's not interested in seeing you as a boyfriend.

[Nicole143]

But it does sound to me like she's either super interested in you or really good at dragging you along. When she smiled really big when you came into the conversation that is a big sign she's interested or has thought about you being her boyfriend.

[Andrina]

The problem with dating co-workers is that many new relationships fizzle. If that were to happen, you two would have the awkward situation of having to see each other every day. Are you willing to take that risk? You sound very passive, as per giving her your number versus asking for hers. The girls that say you're too good and they leave after a few months might be turned off if you're lacking confidence. There is psychology in words. You say, "give me their time" versus the fact that you should be thinking along the lines of "we're spending time together."

 

Confidence is the biggest attractor. Read some articles on improving in that area if you feel like that's the problem. And stop giving so much of your time and emotional energy over long periods of time with love interests when you don't know how they feel. Once you see some clear signs a woman is into you, ask her on a date instead of being her talk buddy. You're wasting time. You have to get an answer so that you can either move on to dating status, or find that you need to move on if she is not interested. Some women might also get frustrated that you're not asking her out and playing the waiting game. You will survive if she says no. It just means she's not right for you, but someone eventually will be. Take care and good luck.