mdumi Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Hello! I've had a recent short spat of time to think and have been somewhat...disconcerted with what I've realized. That basically I have trouble building any relationships. Some things about me: I'm 27 and have no relationship experience whatsoever. Never been on a date or intimate in any way with the opposite sex. Not even a kiss. From what i know, no girl ever showed interest in me (though that is speculation on my part, tbf). And that is problematic, because it is not by choice. I had to abandon my first uni course due to financial situation (it was abroad) and move back home. Now, after another 4 years, completed my degree, started a masters, started going to the gym, and got a job (I'm and aerospace engineer by profession and training). However....I have no female coworkers whatsoever. And most of my colleagues are older than me, so very little social interaction. I used to get along very well with my university colleagues but even they never got together more than once a year (maybe). Never a popular person, rather small social circles....and have no way of enlarging them. I simply do not know anyone. I don't approach strangers if I have no reason to. Even if I did, I do not know how. and there are too many unknowns. This all came to a head on Friday, when, after one of my 12 hour shifts, I decided to go to an art gallery (photographic exhibition) to loosen my wound up nerves. It was nice, and the Spanish guitar relaxed the hell out of me....but I realized I was standing out because I was alone. Everyone was in groups that knew each other (and at least one of them knew the artist), or in pairs....and I was totally alone, wandering like a ghost. Impossible to approach someone else in these circumstances. When I got home that day, felt a crushing loneliness the likes of which I though I had gotten over in high-school. Now I'd like to go to another exhibition on Friday.....but not as the weird hermit that ocassionally visits art exhibitions. I've tried inviting coworkers, but no luck. And more to the point, I simply do not have any dating prospects. I am terribly insecure, though I try to power through it (with little success) and have no experience whatsoever. I would like to describe how I'm like in a relationship but I do not know. I fear I simply do not have any time left to experiment. I'm old, got no clue how to treat a lady, no clue how to "go by instinct" (I'm and engineer; we ignore instinct, and are strictly procedural). I'm pretty tall, and lack of hair notwhistanding, not bad looking, but I have enough nerves to make my love life a struggle...and so few opportunities that I can't practice anything. And I have two rules: I do not use online dating of any kind and never will (non-negociable) and won't go to a doctor (risk my job if I do and it is found out, even if the motive has nothing to do with psychiatric ailments). So...what the hell do I do? Link to comment
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