Proximity making it difficult to move on

[orangeb]

So my girlfriend of six months dumped me two weeks ago. I completely understand why, as I was far from a perfect boyfriend to her. But as I'm trying to get over her, I'm left in a tough spot. Getting and maintaining distance is impossible for two reasons, both having to do with proximity.

 

1. Not only do she and I go to the same university, but we live in the same residence hall, on the same floor, four doors apart. This was obviously a massive and unfortunate coincidence, but one I have to deal with.

2. This is probably the bigger one, which is that we share A LOT of our friends. Of my close friend group of about 15 guys, 5 still hang out with her regularly as well as some girls that I'm relatively friendly with. This puts her around me more, as well as involving her in conversations with friends.

Knowing that my friends know what she's up to and not me is a very uncomfortable feeling to have, as I feel it would be creepy to interrogate them on how she's doing (she seems like she's handling it very well and doesn't want to talk to me, but I can't know that for sure).

 

Any advice on how to get over her while also dealing with this? I would unfollow her on social media to get distance, but given the circumstances I think it would be weird. What are your thoughts on how to move past her while being unable to gain true physical and societal distance?

[Carus]

Are you able to move dorms...?

 

It will be difficult no doubt, especially when she starts seeing other guys...which she will...

 

The best way is also the hardest way....

 

You must try and come to accept the breakup, realise your true self worth (coz you're awesome!), and get back to the strong confident guy she was attracted to in the first place..

 

Hard, but not impossible.

 

You must treat her like you would an associate. Short, but polite. Keep all interactions with her friendly but brief!

 

Let Her contact You! Do not bug her. Do not bring up the relationship and do your best to show her that you're fine without her and you're movin' on with your life....

 

This is very difficult if you're heartbroken and there are no guarantees, but it will give you the best shot...

 

In fact, there IS one guarantee and that is, what will happen if you go against this advice and bug the hell out of her...

 

Anyone here will tell you what will happen with that!

 

Watch Corey Wayne 7 Principles on YouTube....

 

Best of Luck Orange*

Carus*

[orangeb]

Update: Two weeks after our breakup she started dating a friend of mine and I only found out from a drunk acquaintance that I'd never actually met in person.

 

It's getting better but it's still really awkward. Once every week or so we'll sit down one-on-one and catch up in an attempt to bridge the gap. Outside of that, talking comfortably is impossible.

 

Now I'm focused on trying to get back out there. I can't really chat up a girl at a party to hook up, but I think I want a new relationship anyway. Any advice?