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Broken up with after 4 years

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I thought my girlfriend and I were doing well together. We currently live two hours away from each other and I drove to see her the other day and things were perfect between us. The night I leave she goes out gets drunk and partied with all of the people she normally does. But she promised me she was going out to have one glass of wine and then home to FaceTime me as she promised me she would be responsible. Fast forward to the next morning I still haven’t heard from her, and she gets mad at me for being upset with her for not being responsible like she promised.


Two nights later she goes to a friends house, one that I don’t like because she is single and likes bringing my girlfriend out to meet other guys when I’m not there. I got upset and told her I didn’t want her going out with that girl. Then she ignores me for about 18 hours and the next thing I know she’s telling me she has more fun being out and acting single basically and that she has essentially been acting for the last few months because last time she broke up with me I thought about being suicidal. Now I am really thinking that again, I mean I’ve been with her for nearly four years and now she hits me with “I don’t love you like I used to”...


I love this girl and don’t know what to do. I know she makes me angry sometimes and we have ups and downs but what relationship doesn’t. I think it’s immature of her to always ignore me when we fight, but she won’t even talk to me about this breakup or even try to work it out like I have been. Im just lost right now and don’t know what to do and have no one else to talk to.

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I am sorry this is happening, OP. If you are feeling suicidal, please do contact emergency services. Let a close friend or family member know how you are feeling so you can find the appropriate support.


It sounds to be like she just does not want a commitment at this point in her life. She's not talking it out with you, well, because she doesn't want to work it out. A sad but important truth.


Why did she break up with you before, and how long ago was that? It appears this relationship hasn't been on solid ground for a while. How old are you both?

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She's enjoying her single life now. Unfortunately it happens often. You have some issues as well you need to get sorted out though. No easy way about this. You need professional help and start thinking about letting this one go.


You can't force feelings or lifestyle choices. It's her right to go out with friends and be single all she likes. If she actually will regret it later on, it doesn't matter to you anymore.


You have no choice but to let her be and focus on yourself.

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Rusty is right^


No amount of talking or reasoning is going to change how she's feeling right now....


Only time away from you will maybe do that...


So get ye gone. Let her miss you.


You have 4 years of history with her so it will be impossible for her to forget you. Our brains are not wired that way... She will try but....


She needs to feel that separation anxiety from you. She needs to feel that sudden void.


So get to it... You are a ghost 👻


Take care of yourself. Living well is the best 'revenge'...it's also attractive.




PS: Don't consider suicide. It's not the way home...trust me*

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