Reading my old posts from years ago gives me hope

[flyguy23]

So I’m newly single for a month I would say now. And it hurts. Hurts more than any of the other times or does it really? Last night I was reading my old posts from 5 to 7 years ago and what I learned was that every girl was the love of my life, everyone of them I wanted back, I thought I would never move on again. And it seems that reflecting back, I learned from every relationship and that one relationship wasn’t the end all be all. The exes I thought I was in love with and wanted back I’m completely over. One of them I’m even friends with no feelings at all. Every relationship was also more satisfying than the last. I just hope I recover quick from this one. So yea I guess what I’m trying to say is every time I thought I would never move forward, I did end up doing it. This new one hurts a little more because it was sudden and a new experience from the rest. But I have already started the healing process. Going Nc, eating good, working out. I’m not saying I don’t have my days because I do. Whenever I start to think about her I’ll say “stop!” And I’ll go for a run or something. I hope this helps someone else out there.

[Snny]

it seems that reflecting back, I learned from every relationship and that one relationship wasn’t the end all be all. The exes I thought I was in love with and wanted back I’m completely over. One of them I’m even friends with no feelings at all. Every relationship was also more satisfying than the last. I just hope I recover quick from this one.

This is the most important part of moving past a break up- using this time as a learning tool to determine what you want/don't want in a relationship before you settle for less.

 

Things do/do not work out for various reasons. Use this time to figure out how you could improve them.

 

Keep your head up.

[flyguy23]

This is the most important part of moving past a break up- using this time as a learning tool to determine what you want/don't want in a relationship before you settle for less.

 

Things do/do not work out for various reasons. Use this time to figure out how you could improve them.

 

Keep your head up.

Thank you. Oh and one more thing I was thinking. If and when I’m in another RS and things don’t work out I think I’ll deal with it better than all the other times. What I mean is even though it may hurt I’ll be a man, accept it, instead of torturing myself. I know easier said than done right. Next time if someone breaks up with me I won’t be beating myself up asking why why why, the what if’s, don’t you love me? Needy and desperate. I’ll take a deep breath, I’ll say ok let’s talk about it and I’ll just leave them alone.

[ThatwasThen]

Thank you. Oh and one more thing I was thinking. If and when I’m in another RS and things don’t work out I think I’ll deal with it better than all the other times. What I mean is even though it may hurt I’ll be a man, accept it, instead of torturing myself. I know easier said than done right. Next time if someone breaks up with me I won’t be beating myself up asking why why why, the what if’s, don’t you love me? Needy and desperate. I’ll take a deep breath, I’ll say ok let’s talk about it and I’ll just leave them alone.

If you can do that ^^^ it's called "growth."

 

Good on you.

[Carus]

If you can do that ^^^ it's called "growth."

 

Good on you.

I'm glad to hear that coz that's how I dealt with my current breakup, which is different to my previous ones...

 

Still hurts like hell but glad I didn't do the begging and pleading this time.

 

Thanks for posting this as a reminder Fly*

 

I too have had my heart smashed into oblivion many times but have always recovered in time...

 

And we will again this time buddy.

 

Regards

Carus*

[ImokIthink]

Thank You, I needed that realization, I too reflected and giggled because it's so true. While this break up felt painful because I failed to forgive myself for being the cause, I can definitely say I've been placing the LOML title to every girl I've had relations with. But like the saying goes things do get better with time. I've somewhat adapted similar activities of working out to clear my head because when you're sitting around not doing much, it's easy for depressing thoughts to consume your head. I've always had the wrong idea of what love entails and although I’ve ruined all my past relationships for failing to grow up. This time I’m left with no choice but to and I’m taking every step to focus just on myself as selfish as that sounds, it’s a necessity I’m not getting any younger.

[Honeycomb8]

I think it depends. I've been in several relationships and been in love with three people in my life. Only ever thought one was the 'love of my life.'

For me, I don't really get attached easily and most people I've dated didn't leave much of an impression.

I have an ex from 4 years ago that I still have a soft spot for.

[flyguy23]

I also realized that prayer honestly helps a lot too when you’re going through a break up. I went to my church and prayed and asked for forgiveness and I donated money to the hurricane relief fund all this stuff made me feel good about myself. I’m a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. One day I’ll know the reason. I gotta be patient and strong until then. Maybe my last relationship failed and it will set me up for the person who I deserve to be with and so on. I don’t know I mean it’s still hard right now but I have to persevere

[Honeycomb8]

After I dumped my first love, I prayed at least twice a day. It helped a lot. The pain was unbearable but eventually I got passed it, then after two years got over him.

 

Everyone just needs to hang in there.

[ImokIthink]

I also realized that prayer honestly helps a lot too when you’re going through a break up. I went to my church and prayed and asked for forgiveness and I donated money to the hurricane relief fund all this stuff made me feel good about myself. I’m a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. One day I’ll know the reason. I gotta be patient and strong until then. Maybe my last relationship failed and it will set me up for the person who I deserve to be with and so on. I don’t know I mean it’s still hard right now but I have to persevere

 

Prayer really works, as for me I've even joined a bible study group led by people much older than me and the knowledge and wisdom I'm being afforded currently have created so much hope through this healing process. I feel like this is going to turn out just great. And for the first time I'm very attentive to the word and not just reading the word but learning obedience during the process by really practicing to remain pure. This relationship afforded me a once in a lifetime learning opportunity of the self destructive path I was leading, constantly watching pornographic materials and I began noticing how sex driven I was. Not saying I've become somewhat of a saint yet but I'm really embracing the growth I'm experiencing and I'm welcoming more to come.

[flyguy23]

Prayer really works, as for me I've even joined a bible study group led by people much older than me and the knowledge and wisdom I'm being afforded currently have created so much hope through this healing process. I feel like this is going to turn out just great. And for the first time I'm very attentive to the word and not just reading the word but learning obedience during the process by really practicing to remain pure. This relationship afforded me a once in a lifetime learning opportunity of the self destructive path I was leading, constantly watching pornographic materials and I began noticing how sex driven I was. Not saying I've become somewhat of a saint yet but I'm really embracing the growth I'm experiencing and I'm welcoming more to come.

 

The funny thing with my situation is that I was actively praying before I met her. And honestly I was happy and feeling good. Then she came along and I made her my first priority forgetting church and god. Sometimes I would think that maybe this a test. Like god took this away from me and now I’ve returned and maybe he has something better in store for me. I’m still sensitive to everything around me at the moment. Not fully there yet. I’ve forgiven myself at least for some of the mistakes I made. I think about how badly I torchered myself in August, not eating not sleeping, smoking a pack a day. Still not completely over it although it’s sinking in. Still get chills down my spine and honestly I just pray for myself. I pray for god to give me strength wisdom and guidance, I reallly do. And for her as well. I hope everything makes sense one day. Still numb at times. I have to force myself to snap out of it.