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Step son/Husband issues


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I have been with my husband for 6 years. When we first moved in together, his ex wife went into a jealous rampage. At the time, my step son was 11.


He would constantly tell me stuff such as, I was just a temporary replacement for his mom, to kill myself, that he hated me and was really mean to my two daughters. I was also pregnant with my current almost 5 year old daughter; during my pregnancy his ex wife said the baby wasn't my husbands, that I was just using him for money, that I was her replacement and worst of all said she wished my baby would die. My dad committed suicide when I was 21 and my brother in law did during my pregnancy. His ex wife told me that they killed themselves because I was such a horrible person and I should put a gun in my mouth and do the same.


This entire time my husband would blow it off, saying stuff like she is crazy and I should be the bigger person. I feel I was for the most part until my step son started saying the same things and being very verbally abusive. My husband never believed me.


I ended up having my baby prematurely, I believe due to stress. I then developed post partum psychosis. A lot of stuff went on but in the end, my husbands ex wife put a restraining order against me so I couldn't be around my step son. No, I did not hurt my children or him. I was very sick and delusional and desperately needed medical help but I didn't understand that and my husband just assumed I was crazy.

So several years go by, I was treated for my psychosis within 8 months and am 100% better now.


My husband took my step son to counseling and he constantly demeaned me during the sessions. For example, I like the toilet seat being put down as I fell in the toilet bowl once while pregnant. My step son told the counselor verbatim "I don't need to put the toilet seat down, that's work." My husband actually apologized after he said that about me.


Moving forward to 2017, my step son is now 17 years old. He and his mom had several falling outs and he wanted to move in with us. My husband actually told him to say sorry to his mom and stay, but I pretty much begged my husband to let him come stay here because I felt my step son wasn't in a good environment.


My daughter attends UCLA and in our spare bedroom was all of my daughters belongings. I cleaned the room for 2 days so my step son could move in and have his own space.

He moved in. He started making me upset by leaving garbage (an entire black garbage bag over the course of a weekend) making food in the kitchen and making the biggest mess without cleaning it up, refusing to throw stuff away just setting it on the counter by the garbage, leaving the toilet seat up (I even made a sign to put it down and it didn't work but now he's just pissing all over the toilet seat my girls have to sit on) he took my daughters friends to get shaved ice and the entire time talked bad about me and what's worse said his mom is going to beat me up so bad she'd kill me. My husband confronted him and I cried my eyes out to him trying to understand why he hated me so much when I've done nothing but listen, spoil and provide him with what he needs. My husband attributes his behavior by saying his mom is a sociopath so he doesn't know any better. Basically, he is never punished.

My step son walks around the house very aggressively. He is 250 pounds (I'm very petite) and crosses his arms all the time while giving me crazy dirty stares. Still... I'm my best to him.

So a few days ago my husband got appendicitis. He asked me to call some people and gave me his phone. First thing that caught me off guard was he had a Facebook. He told me 5 years ago I couldn't have social media. I opened it, found a lot of inappropriate stuff. People talking bad about me, him doing the same, talking to exes and evidence of him seeing women. He's not married on there and there are zero pictures of me. I went on to look at his texts. Not only did I find messages to a woman I found in my bedroom once that he promised he'd stop contacting but I opened my step sons messages. I would like to add, my step son has caused nothing but drama over the past few months. He told me that when he worked with his dad over the summer he sat in his office, beat off all day and got prostitutes. He told me he steals at the mall and target frequently with his friends. He told me, he doesn't do any of his homework, he has friends to do it. So basically here is the problem I'm currently facing; a month or so ago, there was 40 dollars missing from my purse. This wasn't the first time over the time he lived with us that I noticed money was missing, it was just the biggest amount. I also take adderall for my ADHD. A week prior to the incident I'm about to talk about, my step son asked me what medicines I took for my "mental disorder" he was speaking about my psychosis. I said that was temporary and I no longer take medicine for that. I said, however I do take Adderall for my ADHD. He told me his friends loved Adderall. This was 2 days before the money and 5 pills went missing from my purse. I text my husband and asked if he took out the 40 and he said no. I told him that money's been going missing since my ss moved in and he assured me that he didn't steal. I told him my 15 year old has a prescription for adderall, as she has ADHD too, but refuses to take it because she doesn't like the way it makes her feel. I give my daughter money anytime she wants, though my husband insisted it was her. He told me his son didn't even know what adderall was, which is nuts because only days before we talked about it. I told him that his son told me he steals all the time, from my husbands bank card, to money my husband leaves around. He called me a liar.


So anyway I decide to look at his phone and found the text messages I attached. Out of the women he talked to and the lies I caught my husband in, this is what hurt me the most. I've been trying so hard to build a relationship with my stepson and this is how they talk about me and my daughter.


Am I going crazy? He said I'm nagging and he's sick of it but this hurts me so bad. I feel like I have a broken heart. Please help with any advice you may have.

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You are in a horrifically abusive relationship. Your husband doesn't believe you or trust you or give a damn about your mental well being. Your husband controls you (why can't you have a facebook account?) lies and hides your relationship. The best thing you can possibly do is get out of there. The good news is it sounds like he wants out too. Just leave. Get his crazy ex and his unstable, poorly raised step son out of your life.

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You need to move out of there and get back to some kind of peace. This family does not respect you, even you're so called 'husband' is bad mouthing you and disrespecting you.

You need to move elsewhere and end things with this family. It won't change and by the sounds of it, the son and your husband are going to continue to cause upsets in your life.

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He left tonight, he wanted me to talk and I said I can't so he blew up and I told him all the stuff I knew he did. He told me to get out or he will evict me and I called his mom and told him all he's done. She has my youngest daughter as she does every weekend and that's what scares me. I don't want them to keep her from me. I have no money, no gas, no food and he has 26k in his bank account. I don't know what to do so I'm going to try to sleep but I don't think I can.

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All of my attachments are gone. I changed my picture back but for some reason the name is still what he changed it to. I changed my email password and iTunes password because I'm confused how he found out I posted this.


He left me with no money, no gas in my car like he always does. I don't get it. I didn't do anything but say what he did to me.

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