Ex possibly regrets breaking up

[lostboy14]

My gf of 3 years broke up with me about 2 and a half months ago to explore her sexuality. About a month ago she got into a relationship with a girl she met on tinder at the time of our break up. I've been most no contact since our break up, except a couple of short conversations which have been mostly initiated by her.

 

The other night, out of nowhere, she texted me this:

"I really miss you and I don't want to lose you. I'm so ing sorry about everything and I know that means all after everything that's happened and I have no excuse for anything. I just respect you so much as a person and it's taken time not speaking to you and not being around you for everything to sink in. I've never met anyone I get along with as well as we do and who I have so much in common with and literally the same views on everything with. Everyday since we broke up there has been so many things that I've wanted to talk to you about or tag you in or just hear your voice and I can't deal with the thought of never being able to speak to you again in a friendly way or literally anyway at all without feeling like I shouldn't be talking to you or that you don't want to hear from me

I know I am so selfish and that I didn't treat you anywhere close to how you deserved to be treated. I took things you did for me for granted and I took what we had for granted. I made a selfish decision to end the relationship and I'm so aware that I'm ed up and keep making the wrong decisions. I don't want you to think that I feel okay about what I did or that I'm happy with how things are because I'm not"

 

She proceeded to tell me she "loves me so much and misses me so much" 3 times during our conversation, and said "I didn't end the relationship to be in a relationship with someone else or because I didn't want to be with you I ended it because I knew that I needed to figure out what my sexuality was to ever feel fully really to settle down with you" followed by "if you were wondering I am definitely not a lesbian".

 

She is still in a relationship with this girl.

 

She has contacted me everyday since then, made it clear she wants to see me, but has not said if she actually wants to be with me or not. The fact that she said all this and is continuing to be in a relationship with someone else is driving me insane. I do want to get back with her, and i don't want to come across as a needy , so I've been playing it cool (she's the type if person that gets really turned off by me putting in too much effort).

 

I'm thinking of organising a catch up next week, but what do you think? Does it sound like she wants to be with me again?

[Pretzel]

I think you are wasting your time by not addressing the question of whether or not she wants to BE WITH YOU. That is key. Everything else is meaningless in terms of your life going forwards and the outcome of your interactions. I don't understand why you don't just ask the question, or why you think it is needy to seek clarification. Needy is begging and pleading, needy is not responding to her outpours of emotion with some rational in place. Something like, 'So I appreciate everything you've said and how you've shared your feelings but what does this mean - do you want to be together?' Anything along those lines. Get a straight answer. Otherwise you'll go insane. That's what I think anyway.

[Pretzel]

Oh and if you get anything short of a clear 'yes', I wouldn't entertain this contact further AT ALL. If you get an 'I don't know, I'm not sure, I'm confused' then run for the hills.

Or say 'that's too bad, because I'm not.' and then say goodbye.

 

Otherwise you will get strung along.

[Girl09]

Becareful of becoming set up as a back up option if her current choices don't work out.

[ShatteredMan]

Yeah, agree with Girl09. I had a buddy who had an almost identical situation to yours and its a waste of time, emotion and energy.

 

She's hoping you don't mind being a backup. Drop her like a brick into a lake and never respond to her.

 

Go meet a nice girl that knows what she wants and values you for who you are.