Disrespectful after a month of dating??

[chjary]

Ok, so I met this guy on a dating site a little over a month ago. He was very attentive and eager to see me at first. We got together about twice a week and he would always take me out for a nice dinner. The only thing that bothered me was that he was pretty aggressive with his eyes and hands early on which made me think he might be a player. However, we enjoyed each other's company and "Gorgeous" was his pet name for me. Yes......I was shamelessly flattered....and yes, I slept with him after just 3 weeks.

 

He had a couple of week long hunting trips planned in October, and the closer it came to the first trip, the less attentive he became. We spent the day together traveling up north to see the Fall colors, but he paid little attention to me. He was constantly on the phone with his hunting buddies talking about the trip. I found this very disrespectful since he was supposed to be spending the afternoon with me. Our next get together he was supposed to come help me with a couple of things, but wasn't feeling well that day and postponed it. We rescheduled for Thursday and he was an hour and a half late! He then asked me to hang out with him Friday and get a pizza because he was leaving Sunday morning for the trip and it was the last opportunity to see each other for the next 7-10 days. Well, he texted me mid-afternoon on Friday and told me that his buddy had come into town early and now they were leaving at 4am on Saturday so he wouldn't be able to come see me Friday evening.

 

Okay, I understand that he looks forward to his hunting trips every year, but I feel that if he really liked me he would not blow me off and be disrespectful under any circumstances other than a dire emergency. I have a tendency not to call people out on things and end up being treated like a doormat. I'm trying to change this and am thinking I shouldn't see him anymore. We are not kids.....both being 53 years old.

 

One more thing......every time I looked on the dating site he had been there that day. I need advise. Am I over-reacting? Or is this writing on the wall as to how he will treat me in the future.

[thorough]

He doesn't seem all that into you and that really sucks. All that behavior makes him seem like he is only into himself and pays attention to you only when its convenient for him. I've learned not to give these kinda guys the time of day. Continue dating other guys and see what happens after the trip. If he goes from being warm to cold, a relationship is not worth pursuing. When my bf was leaving for vacation, he came to say bye to me for an hour despite having to work late and get up early for the trip. People make time for what they want.

[chjary]

Indeed, my thought exactly thorough. Thanks for the reply.

[Thainara]

I agree, when he gets back, go slow, very slow... just don't give your heart to him unless he proves he deserves it. Live your life and have fun until he gets back.

[thorough]

Indeed, my thought exactly thorough. Thanks for the reply.

 

Sorry it has to be that way, but you deserve WAY better

[katrina1980]

chjary, you actually had it right in your first post.

 

When he (or any man) really likes you, they don't blow you off.

 

Learn to trust your own intuition, and stop allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat (your phrasing).

 

No need to call him out, just walk away when a man treats you like this in early stages.

 

Don't be nasty about it, or cause drama, simply tell him it's not working for you. Wish him the best.

 

By text is fine. Then block to avoid unnecessary drama.

 

This is called not tolerating bull shyt. An absolute must in these early stages, or ever!

 

Have higher standards for yourself.