Sex problems??

[Sash4462]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a month,last year we started off as friends with benefits. We lost contact until just recently and he made it official. I always thought we had pretty good sex,im a very sexual person and he has almost too much stamina,the problem starts with the foreplay or lack therof. I give him BJs to get him ready for as long as he wants then it’s straight to intercourse,no oral for me or any other form of foreplay. I know im not the issue because this is something ive NEVER experienced with others. Ive given up on asking,i did once while we were FWB and he said i was a freak as if i asked him to do something taboo,i got what I wanted for about 50 seconds. Since we’ve been together ive gotten oral twice and for literally no more than a minute,it infuriates me because it makes me feel like he doesnt care and he is bigger than average and i get soo sore from no foreplay. He told me he would do anything to please me but the last time he went down on me,just as it was getting good (45 seconds in) he says “don’t want your legs shaking too much” and stops! As if thats a bad thing! Another thing is he watches porn DURING sex. When he is above me he doesnt look at me his head is looking up at the tv 90% of the time,and when he is behind me thats ideal for him to watch. It kind of offends me. What to do? I do not like selfish lovers and honestly dont see us lasting much longer. Opinions?

 

I should also add that he’s never given me an orgasm since majority of women cant from intercourse alone. I fake it every single time

[dias]

just as it was getting good (45 seconds in)

 

That was good. 45 seconds? Hahahaha.

 

Anyway, first of all don't fake orgasms. Sex is pleasure for both, what you have is one sided. You explicitly told him that you want foreplay or oral and he haven't even made a try so things will not change. You are sexually incompatible. Better part ways.

 

“don’t want your legs shaking too much”.... What can somebody say..........

[Sash4462]

Yup you read right,45 seconds! Whats the point of getting me worked up just to stop? Hes never done it for longer than a minute and im not even exaggerating. And i was soo offended when he told me that,that’s basically saying he doesnt want me in too much bliss,wth? And i just felt an inherent need to fake it and idk why,but now i feel like im at that point where i cant tell him i lied

[sara-pezzini]

Life is too short to deal with a selfish lover! You've told him a few times so now i would leave him.... it's up to you, deal with this for the rest of your life or find someone more compatible.

It's obvious that he won't listen and thinks he's good enough....ugh!

[MissCanuck]

If this is the same guy from your other thread (and I'm assuming it is), you already know what to do.

 

Your relationship with him is hardly a relationship. The sex is bad.

 

Why are you still there?

[sara-pezzini]

If this is the same guy from your other thread (and I'm assuming it is), you already know what to do.

 

Your relationship with him is hardly a relationship. The sex is bad.

 

Why are you still there?

 

good call! I had not seen that.... yeah end this!

[hyden]

Life is too short for bad sex and poor relationships. When you go down on a woman, you don't stop until you get tapped out.

[Sash4462]

Yes this is the same guy from my other thread. Idk why im reluctant to end it,i like him alot and this is my first relationship. I know what i have to do but it’s just hard

[ThatwasThen]

I can't understand why you would fake it nor can I understand why you would agree to be "official" with a man that sounds like the worst lover since the beginning of man. If you're in it for casual sex then at least be in it with someone that has a clue.

 

Why are you still with him?

 

You actually enable him to be the selfish lover that he is because you keep allowing him to be who he is in bed.

 

Turn off the t.v. and don't let him turn it back on. Don't blow him until he makes you orgasm through oral, don't allow him to take you from behind because it has zero to no clitoral stimulation and you NEED that to get you off. Show him what you need in finger and tongue play. Guide him in intercourse so that his pelvic bone rubs against your clitoris and helps you to pop.

 

He's clueless and you're not training him. If you're going to stay with him (gah... why?) then train him to be the lover you need him to be. If he won't be open to it then get out now.

[reinventmyself]

Yes this is the same guy from my other thread. Idk why im reluctant to end it,i like him alot and this is my first relationship. I know what i have to do but it’s just hard

 

If this is your first relationship, I'd advise you to end this and take some time to learn the valuable lesson this experience provides.

 

Self serving porn addicts don't make good lovers. . period.

 

 

Why you would want to be in a relationship with one, I don't understand.

Outside of the bedroom what exactly do you like about him?

[Sash4462]

ThatwasThen, you’re completely right that im enabling him to be like this,I believe he is truly set in his ways. The routine is to turn on the tv and he lays back and expects me to give him a BJ which I always do then straight to sex. He told me he craves me and wants to give me oral but going down on me for less than a minute doesnt count,I think if i asked him for more he’d either laugh at me or say no. I dont even know if he knows what foreplay is. But then he hints at wanting anal sex or longer and more deep BJs which i can do but wont until i get what i want. I think porn completely warped his view of what sex should be and I doubt any of his exes called him out on it. He’s stubborn and i dont see him listening to me if i bring it up. Im seeing him tomorrow so its time for us to talk

[Sash4462]

If this is your first relationship, I'd advise you to end this and take some time to learn the valuable lesson this experience provides.

 

Self serving porn addicts don't make good lovers. . period.

 

 

Why you would want to be in a relationship with one, I don't understand.

Outside of the bedroom what exactly do you like about him?

 

We get along well but im not speaking from experience since hes my first relationship. He is nice to me but i know that im settling. We also never been on a date which bothers me because id rather be spending time with him seeing how compatible we really are rather than the one sided sex we always have

[ThatwasThen]

ThatwasThen, you’re completely right that im enabling him to be like this,I believe he is truly set in his ways. The routine is to turn on the tv and he lays back and expects me to give him a BJ which I always do then straight to sex. He told me he craves me and wants to give me oral but going down on me for less than a minute doesnt count,I think if i asked him for more he’d either laugh at me or say no. I dont even know if he knows what foreplay is. But then he hints at wanting anal sex or longer and more deep BJs which i can do but wont until i get what i want. I think porn completely warped his view of what sex should be and I doubt any of his exes called him out on it. He’s stubborn and i dont see him listening to me if i bring it up. Im seeing him tomorrow so its time for us to talk

 

If you're going to stick around (not advised as you don't even know him past your bedroom times together) then maybe try some "couples porn" rather then the screaming-scare-a-vagina kind of normal pump away porn it sounds likes he's been used to watching. He's selfish, he's inexperienced and he doesn't know what he's missing by being on the receiving end of a well satiated sex partner. Stop all enabling activities and start getting more selfish as you teach him what you need to orgasm. If he's asks or expects a bj you tell him "here I am" and then show him what you want. Tell him you need to have at least one orgasm before you can go down... say it all in a sexy/flirty manner. Don't fake another orgasm ~ Ever. If you can't, then don't make him think you have.

[cherubrock]

This sounds like my ex - "lover". He was a masturbator and used me as fap material. In actual sex he also barely went down on me, put his thing in me right away one time and didn't kiss me. I don't see this changing if you keep giving in. And I can't believe you allow him to watch porno while you guys have sex, that is a turn off and disrespectful. You already know what to do...

[Sash4462]

If you're going to stick around (not advised as you don't even know him past your bedroom times together) then maybe try some "couples porn" rather then the screaming-scare-a-vagina kind of normal pump away porn it sounds likes he's been used to watching. He's selfish, he's inexperienced and he doesn't know what he's missing by being on the receiving end of a well satiated sex partner. Stop all enabling activities and start getting more selfish as you teach him what you need to orgasm. If he's asks or expects a bj you tell him "here I am" and then show him what you want. Tell him you need to have at least one orgasm before you can go down... say it all in a sexy/flirty manner. Don't fake another orgasm ~ Ever. If you can't, then don't make him think you have.

 

When ive mentioned him going down on me he does but for literally seconds! It makes me feel like he doesnt care about my needs or wants,you’re totally right and i wont fake it anymore. Im always seductive during our intimate times and i tell him how good that makes me feel but I still get nothing

[ThatwasThen]

When ive mentioned him going down on me he does but for literally seconds!

Then tell him that's not long enough.

 

It makes me feel like he doesnt care about my needs or wants,

He doesn't. Its clear he's a selfish lover who know no better. You can stick around and try to teach him to be a better one if you want but if he won't keep going after you tell him it's not long enough then he's never going to change and you should just leave him now.

 

you’re totally right and i wont fake it anymore.

Good girl, time to stop making him think he's da man... he needs to know he's not satisfying you. If he asks why you're not coming anymore tell him that you need more clitoral stimulation... you don't have to tell him you were faking it all this time.

 

Im always seductive during our intimate times and i tell him how good that makes me feel but I still get nothing

Don't give into his selfishness anymore but at the same time, don't lose your own bedroom charm

 

Keep in mind that you may be trying to turn a sows ear into a silk purse. If he's not willing to get you off then to stay with him is ridiculous. It will only get worse as time goes on and your relationship settles in. He's not 100% to blame though if you haven't been happy but you've been faking that you are. I think you see that now though.

 

Good luck.

[Sash4462]

This sounds like my ex - "lover". He was a masturbator and used me as fap material. In actual sex he also barely went down on me, put his thing in me right away one time and didn't kiss me. I don't see this changing if you keep giving in. And I can't believe you allow him to watch porno while you guys have sex, that is a turn off and disrespectful. You already know what to do...

 

Thats exactly how i feel with him,i dont see him changing either way. And he turns it on while im giving him a BJ and it stays on the entire time and it offends me that he does this.

[ThatwasThen]

Thats exactly how i feel with him,i dont see him changing either way. And he turns it on while im giving him a BJ and it stays on the entire time and it offends me that he does this.

Then why didn't you stop, get up and say I'm not doing this while you watch that? Get some boundaries, gurl.

[Sash4462]

Then why didn't you stop, get up and say I'm not doing this while you watch that? Get some boundaries, gurl.

 

I knowww i need to stand up for myself and set some rules,im not a push over or anything im just very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. Idk why i have this inherent need to always make him happy and i suck at breaking bad news. But i know i have to have a long conversation with him about this if i choose to go any further but honestly i dont see it lasting very long.

[ThatwasThen]

I knowww i need to stand up for myself and set some rules,im not a push over or anything im just very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. Idk why i have this inherent need to always make him happy and i suck at breaking bad news. But i know i have to have a long conversation with him about this if i choose to go any further but honestly i dont see it lasting very long.

So be it. Get ur done, Sash.

[Romanticheart1]

Life is too short for bad sex and poor relationships. When you go down on a woman, you don't stop until you get tapped out.