rdo2020 Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 I had a quick question about office affairs. I met a woman (a sexy little Korean) about a year and half ago through my work. She sits right next to me in the next cube over. We immediately hit it off and started an affair even though she already had a boyfriend which was a long distance relationship. You could say our relationship was more of a friends with benefits situation. I know what you always talk about in your book and videos in regard to love in such a way the other person feels free. I had no problem she had a boyfriend, whom she eventually broke up with. After that time our relationship heated up with more frequent sex-capades. She was FUN!! As the year went on, I eventually and mistakenly became complacent in the relationship and she started to show signs. (This was all BEFORE I found your work.) She eventually moved on and found a new guy. I admit I was crushed that our affair ended and it has been difficult the last few months trying to get over her, when she sits 4 feet from me. Since then I've used the time read your book twice, watch dozens if not hundreds of your videos, joined a gym, get in shape and I've taken up photography all in an effort to better myself. She HAS noticed my improvements from the gym and has commented on how much she loves and misses running her hands through my hair. In a couple weeks she and I are supposed to go to Las Vegas on business, just the two of us. When the trip was planned we were in the height of our affair and looking forward to being there alone all week, but now she see's it as a "we can hang out as friends" trip. I've made it known to her that "platonic friends" doesn't work for me and to let me know if things don't work out with her new boyfriend. I DON'T call or text and have absolutely no impulse to do so as I know that is a form of chasing. Seeing her at work everyday is what makes it difficult because you can't help but be at least in eye sight of each other, and we work/collaborate on projects together. I want to keep my distance as much as possible to avoid slipping into the "friend-zone" trap. Should I blow her off in Vegas? I also want to be professional and not be a complete as this IS a work related trip. This is also on the heels of the recent tragedy in Vegas so leaving her alone would be in bad form in my opinion. My gut, however, is telling me to go my own way after our work related engagements, so I can mingle alone and meet other women. What are your thoughts? Is there a fine line between hanging out as friends and hanging out as past lovers? We still playfully flirt in the office and I've caught her eyeing my crotch a couple of times followed by the flirty "double eyebrow" raise. Is it all just harmless flirting? Should I just cut my losses and tell her she's on her own? This trip is set to take place in less than a couple of weeks. Link to comment
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