Throwaway35029 Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Hi! Sorry for the long post but I'm looking for an outsiders opinion. So my girlfriend and I dated for a little over a year. The first thing about her is she is extremely busy person (high level competitive/social sports, involved in community, college, work, etc.) That said we were compatible together, had the same values and humor, enjoyed each other's company, never fought, had fun together etc. I also have great admiration for her for how passionate she is and the work she puts for the community and this is really something which I look for in a partner. One thing worth mentioning is that while I love her I was quite unsure if she felt the same about me. She had been in a difficult long term relationship and was very scared of getting emotionally hurt again. Her actions never led me to believe that she didn't but never said it despite me saying it several times. It all started to unravel a few months ago. I fell into some depression when a lot of my social circle moved away and I had to give away my main hobby. This resulted in me becoming more reliant on her to fill in the gaps (although I didn't realize at the time). At the same time she had to take on lots more work and our relationship was the main thing to take a hit. We went from seeing each other 2-3 times a week to 2-3 times a fortnight (of which two of those might just be for a 5 minute chat after work so really it was maybe an afternoon a weekend of actual quality time). When we would see each other she would be exhausted but she was still making the effort. After an especially busy period I sort of hit a breaking point. I told her that i was fine with things for the moment because all of the work was coming to an end but in the future she needed prioritize our relationship more (back to 2-3 times a week). She said she was not able to promise that and that things always come up in her life and didn't want to disappoint me. We broke up but remained on good terms and it's been about 6 weeks. After coming through the depression I am trying to decide whether its a good idea to go back and try and re-kindle the relationship. I became dependant on her to fill some of the gaps in my life which she was unable to do and this was making me miserable. I have spent time fixing this and rebuilding a social circle so I am comfortable that I won't fall into the same trap. But, is her saying she may not be able to commit time to our relationship/say she loves me a red flag? Or am I asking too much? I really see a future with this girl but I think I need an unbiased opinion from an outsider. Link to comment
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