Hope1004 Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 My actual breakup is a long story. Basic jist of it is this... we were best friends for 6 years, until he told me I he loved me. I was his first and last thought of everyday. I said no because I didn't want to lose a friend and because my family wouldn't accept him. We dated in secret for 5 years. Stupid mistake. We broke up officially 7 years ago because I finished college and we thought it was best since my family didnt approve. (I found out recently because they saw qualities in him they saw as "egotistical", "a-holish" and too "anti social"). We acted like a couple in each other's lives for 7 years. The beginning of this year I realized we both needed to move on. I wanted a future, I wanted marriage and kids. He thought marriage is a big shame institution and doesn't like babies or small kids. However I was still deeply in love with him and him being affectionate and cuddling me, kissing me... telling me he loves me so damn much.... it was to hard to move on. So I asked him to stop. He didn't... some days he was worst then others. I asked him to stop for months! Finally I pushed myself to join a dating site right before the summer. I went on one date. He tells me he couldn't handle me moving on, it hurt him too much because he was so damn in love with me. It was killing him. So I felt terrible I hurt someone who loved me (or so I thought) and to be honest I was still in love with him. So i stopped despite the fact i dropped $ and got my parents hopes up. Little did I know he was telling people at work about his ex. Some secret relationship. Fast forward to August. He sleeps with someone who admitted to liking him and someone he worked with. He tells me about how much he liked her and how he never felt so compatible with anyone before and how he was falling for her. Yes he tells me abt her for over 2 hours and just days before he told me he loved me. I tried to be a supportive ex and encouraged him. The night he's telling me about her, the night after he sleeps with her, He wraps his arms around me and SNUGGLED me. He held my hands and kisses them. The drive home I admitted I was hurting about him moving on. He says if the situation was reversed he couldn't handle it. Oh but He was keeping my dirty pics until he was sure he was with this new girl. He drops me off and loses touch with me. I cried for over a week during which I text him numerous times as a friend. He messaged me a week later because he thought I blocked his mom. I didn't. Then I texted him "I miss me best friend". We were friends for 18 years. His response was to that (2 weeks after I told him I was hurt) he informs me he was bringing his new girl to a friend's get together we both previously promised to go to and wanted to make sure I didn't give her a hard time. Oh to tell me his "i love you"s before that were platonic and i was reading too much into it. Amd the cuddling? He said he had no self control. I tried to be okay with meeting her but I couldn't. So he told him it was too hard right now to meet her. Instead of telling me, He told an intermediary that if I couldn't deal with it, he wasn't going to come. I tried to call him and explain I needed to see him as a friend before I could see her as person who made my friend happy and not just someone who replaced me. I'm trying to salvage some kind of friendship and that i had no intention of wanting him back any romantic way. There was no future in it. It was bad for both of us. His response was to ignore me. I called him. He informed me he was turning off his phone and he needed time and space. I lost it. I've blocked and deleted him. It's been 2 months now. I still think of him at times and boil up with anger. I know he didn't officially cheat.... but it feels like I was cheated on. I know I have no right, we broke up 7 years ago. But I feel used, manipulated and tossed aside. I think of him fewer and fewer, but I back slide a couple times. But more with his birthday coming up. But I am tired of backsliding. I'm tired of whining to my friends. How do I finally heal enough to stop thinking of him all together? I've joined a gym, I'm on vacation... but I still need help. Please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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