today's my ex birthday and i want to send a message. should i?

[nathaly]

Hey guys

 

TODAY is my ex birthday and im dying to send him a birthday message, everybody whom i asked for advice told me not to do it but indeep i really want to send at least a ''happy birthday have a good day'' message but i dont want to regret it later.. so what you think, can i or shouldn't i? what would you do?

 

BACKGROUND STORY BETWEEN US. (summarized as possible)

we were on a long distance relationship for 5 years and 3 months, we didn't close the distance because we broke up, i was the one who broke up because he wasnt the same in the relationship(it has been a year since we broke up). we both got involved with other people as soon as we broke up, mine didn't work but his did (i guess)! he even got marry (he proposed her on our anniversary day still hurts! ) and he had a child with this person! we didn't end in good terms... i blocked him from every social media or ways of him to contact because he's a liar and i couldn't handle having contact with the person that i love the most but hurt me as well... what i mean by ''he's a liar'' is that he still sends messages to my phone telling me that he miss me and that he's still in love with me but in facebook he comments on his wife facebook that he loves her, photos together ect! i did not respond to his last message which was a voice message, so i haven't heard from him for a while since he sent that voice message august 19!

 

what should i do o what would you do if you were me?

 

 

WHAT I FEEL. (EXTRA if you want to read it all, but you can respond from the summary)

i think a birthday message isn't a ''i want you back'' message because i dont want him back but we been though A LOT, we have so many memories together, i was there for him on his darker days and he was in mine and even though he has hurt me like no one has... i still feel like i love him! i still cry over it.. its crazy but i still cant get him out of my mind i dont want to feel this way!! i really want him to be happy with whoever he decided to get involved with and dont feel jealous.. it hurt me that he has got what we dreamt (get marry and have a child together) but i dont want to feel that way i want to have positive thought toward him

 

THOUGHTS?

I dont mine honesty!

[Starlight925]

Heavens, NO.

 

Please re-read your own post and tell us why you think everyone in your life is telling you not to do this.

[Hollyj]

Good God! NO!!!!!!!!

[Thainara]

HELL NO! You yourself said he hurt you, he's a liar and he's MARRIED!!!! What's behind this intention of yours of sending him a bday message? To call his attention? To get a response? What for??? It's been more than a year... just let it go.

[Andrina]

1. He's messaging you that he misses you when he's married. Why wish a happy b-day to a douchebag?

 

2. I've never welcomed contact with an ex who broke up with me. It pissed me off and set me back to square one on closure in some cases.

 

3. If you had a spouse, would you want his ex to text him happy birthday?

 

Move on and start thinking of your future with someone decent. You can't open the front door when you've got your foot stuck in the back door.

[DancingFool]

Another big fat NOOOOOO.

 

An ex is a person who is no longer a part of your life and they aren't a part of yours. So you do not contact them, you do not wish them happy b-day or anything else such. You just don't. In fact, for the love of....block his number so you can actually start healing and moving on. I mean what kind cheating low life has a child, gets married and then contacts an ex telling her some bs that he is still into her. He isn't into you, he is setting you up to cheat, to be his pathetic side chic. Please spare yourself the bs, open your eyes, see him for the unworthy trash that he is and just....move on already.

[abitbroken]

He is married with a child. Please respect his marriage and don't contact him.

 

Also, I think you should block him on your phone and on Facebook.

[nathaly]

i dont have his #, i blocked him from facebook, instagram, email, also he can't call me but he still can send text message and voice messages because i dont know how to block him from phone messages. BUT YOU ALL RIGHT! this will just mess up all the no contact plan of mine! thanks

[melancholy123]

Good grief, NO! Everyone has given you good advice and you really need to wake up and stop this. Do NOT contact him. He's MARRIED!

[ThatwasThen]

and even though he has hurt me like no one has... i still feel like i love him! i still cry over it.. its crazy but i still cant get him out of my mind

That's because you've been foolish and unloving to yourself by wallowing in memories rather then doing what you have to do mentally to get over him. Stop wondering if you should send him a birthday message. He's none of your business now. He has a wife and any crumbs he sends you just keep you mired in your limbo with him.

 

Time to block him and quit creeping any of his social media. He's got a new life and its high time you got one too. Don't waste any more or your good dating years on someone who is married for goodness sakes.

 

Don't get defensive over the tone of this post which is lacking in voice inflection. If said by a good friend over a glass of red wine you'd not take offense. Heed the message ~ you are wasting your life.

 

As for your question: Do not send a birthday message. It is totally inappropriate of you to be doing such a thing. You have ulterior motives. Whether you admit that to yourself or not remains to be seen.

 

i dont have his #, i blocked him from facebook, instagram, email, also he can't call me but he still can send text message and voice messages because i dont know how to block him from phone messages. BUT YOU ALL RIGHT! this will just mess up all the no contact plan of mine! thanks

Call your phone provider and ask them how to block him from your phone. If your carrier can't help you then change your telephone number. Be determined to get him out of your head and heart FOR GOOD... IT'S TIME!