College BF of 2 years broke up with me - I want to get back together

[mainegirl]

So recently I was just broken up with by my bf. My backstory for insight into our relationship is that we have been dating since the first weeks of college. We were inseperable and seemed to fall in love immediately. Hes my complete twin and we are so similar that we wanted to be together 24/7. Our running joke used to be that he fell in love with me on the 3rd day we hung out. Everything was goof for the majority of the first year we were dating, until my roommates decided to transfer schools. This virtually left me and my bf without any friends, and just each other to hangout/rely on. We decided to move in together, and everything had been fine, we got a dog together, and would talk about marriage and moving on with our lives together after college. It was good until i found nude pictures of a girl from his past on his laptop. He tried to give me an elaborate excuse as to why they were there, and whether or not it was true, i still felt betrayed and lied to. Over the course of this past year that we had been dating, i became more and more self concious around the idea of him being surrounded by other girls. He would constantly tell me that he loved me, and that nothing was going on, but the more i asked the more I could feel like distancing himself from me. After a while we stopped having sex and he stopped being affectionate. When i first asked him why, he would just tell me he didnt know why, until this past week he decided to tell me that he wasnt in love with me romantically anymore. He tells me he still loves me as a person, but as of right now he said he cant even kiss me anymore without it feeling forced or awkward. While he was breaking up with me i felt completely alone and isolated, like this person in front of me was a stranger. I decided to pack my bags and leave, because i couldnt be in that situation anymore, i thought i was going to go crazy. The days leading up to him breaking up with me, i noticed he was acting different, and being more protective of his phone, i would catch him looking like he was taking selfies to send to other girls, he told me he never felt like he was alone and just wanted to isolate himself away from me. After i left i said i wasnt going to text him first, but i always saw something that would set me off. Like he deleted the emoji next to my name, and had new contacts of other girls i had never heard about with emojis next to their names. He told me he was tired of answering to me, and wanted to be able to go out and do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. After a long fight over text i sent him my peace, and ended it by telling him “i loved you on the third day” and he responded with “i loved you on the first- what do i do”. I never responded, but the next day he texted me and had a casual conversation, he never texted me back, and now its been almost a week NC. I want to get back together with him because he is my best friend, i just need opinions on whether or not a love like this seems like it could be rekindled. After this break up i realize a lot of things i need to work on like being too dependent on him, and having friends of my own, etc. i just want to know if there hope in the idea that if i were to become the girl i used to be when we first started dating again, that his love would be rekindled and he would want me back.

[ThatwasThen]

It was good until i found nude pictures of a girl from his past on his laptop. He tried to give me an elaborate excuse as to why they were there, and whether or not it was true, i still felt betrayed and lied to.

First thing you have to learn is that someone having photos (nude or clothed) of an ex on their computer isn't any reason to feel betrayed. The photo(s) and she are a part of his past and if you wanted him to remove them then a calm and matter of fact conversation about it would have been a lot better received. Perhaps moving them to a private folder would have been a good compromise acceptable to the both of you???

 

I suggest you leave him be and work on finding other friends to hang out with and share your college time with. Relying on (more times then not) temporary college boyfriends to fulfil you isn't in your best interest.

 

The best way to peak (or repeak) anyone's interest is to show them that you're a confident chick with lots of interests and friends to keep you from being a cling-on girlfriend. Give him the gift of missing you while you work on your confidence and your friends group. Make your college years the most productive to you as a whole... not just with one guy.

 

Sorry you're hurting, feel better soon.