Career Fulfillment

[indea08]

Hope everyone is doing well.

 

I'm having a difficult time in my career. I am a registered nurse in the US. I absolutely hate it. I have tried almost every different area of nursing. I'm in home health now. I have been applying for mental health opportunities because it's more emotional care than physically taking care of someone. It's my last shot at staying in nursing.

 

On top of that, the pay isn't great. It's enough to live paycheck to paycheck. It's a constant financial stress. I'm not the type of person that can just put that aside. I'm determined to be successful and the stress of this situation never leaves me.

 

I have the most amazing family. I am beyond happy in my marriage, my husband is better to me than I ever hoped for. My daughter is my best friend, beautiful, smart, and funny. I love our home, and we have a very well behaved, loving pooch. Home life is amazing.

 

But I refuse to stop searching for the right career. I refuse to accept putting so much effort into a job I hate, that doesn't even pay enough to give me the freedom I want. I realize this is "job hopping", it's not uncommon in nursing, but I really want to find a career that I can excel in, that I enjoy, doing work I'm proud of.

 

Am I being unrealistic in my determination to find a fulfilling career? I'm doing what I need to do in the mean time to make things meet, but sometimes I think I should just be grateful to have a job. But I'm so unhappy. There has to be better than this....I need the same fulfillment with my career that I have with my family.

[DancingFool]

Define fulfillment?

Also, what is it specifically that you hate about your job? Is it just money or the job itself?

[indea08]

Both. Nursing is awful. I suction snot out of people throats. I clean rotting flesh wounds. I've had to dig poop out of someone's butt when they were compacted. I could go on forever about the disgusting parts of my job.

 

On top of that, nursing never stops. I'm on call in the evenings, on weekends, holidays, overnight even after working the day before and having to work the day after. My email never stops. Phone calls constantly. I see patients full time and then have charting to do on top of that. I have to meet patient satisfaction scores so I have to make people happy, when I should be making people healthy.

 

I don't feel good about the work I do because I'm over worked, underpaid, and so many variables are out of my control. I'm anxious at night knowing I have to work the next day. I didn't get a degree to feel so miserable. I feel trapped.

 

I want a career where I can be proud of the work I've done. Where I want to improve and grow and advance. I want a job I enjoy (or at least that I don't hate). I would like my work to matter. Because right now, I feel like just another interchangeable body in the field of nurses. Just a warm body at the bedside.

[Batya33]

Forgive me but how is it that you didn't know about the physical aspects of your job when you decided to study nursing? I would be careful about taking on patients with mental disabilities. They often need a lot of physical health supports as well for several reasons.

 

I would count your blessings about the other aspects of your life, accept that you don't like the hands on aspects of your job or the 24/7 aspects (which is fine -you're entitled! and consider consulting with a life coach/career coach as far as what would be a better fit. Good luck!

 

Edited to add -most people I know do not have complete fulfillment in career and family especially over time.

[DancingFool]

Sounds like before you give up on being an RN, you do need to find a mentor who can guide you on how to turn this into a fulfilling career rather than a dirty, underpaid, menial job. The RN's that I know are actually very happy, make a ton of money, excellent benefits, fantastic vacation time, days off and aren't on call all the time.

 

As for wanting appreciation and recognition....good luck with that. Not being cynical either, just that you really shouldn't expect your employers to give you that ever or you'll spend your life wanting and being disappointed. Look closer to home and smaller - that patient who said thank you for bringing relief to them, etc. You are actually in a field where gratitude is plentiful and more so than in other professions, but you do need to notice it.

[melancholy123]

I never knew what I wanted to do or be. I tried a lot of things and nothing really did it for me, grabbed me in a way where I thought I'd do whatever it was for the long haul. What made me happy in the end is being my own boss. My husband and I have had two businesses of our own that we totally own. I wouldn't have it any other way. Working for someone else was not for me, I just had to figure that out. So, could you work for yourself somehow? I dont know what a nurse could do on her own, but surely there's something! I know being self employed is not for everyone but maybe it's something for you to consider.

[abitbroken]

There are nurses who are in more of an administration or teaching role. There are nurses who are school nurses and sure they disinfect wounds, but when the kids go home, you are done for the day. Sometimes schools even have part time school nurses. I knew someone who was a nurse practitioner who acted more like a doctor as they can prescribe meds and other people would do the blood draws, etc. I know a nurse anesthestist and they make great money. In otherwords, you haven't fully explored all you can do.

 

What don't you like - the hours or the rear ends and the blood? You can switch gears for different hours - going part time, working at a school, etc, but you can't avoid the blood and guts unless you go into more of an admistrative role.

 

BTW, you knew about the blood before you chose to be a nurse, right?

[indea08]

@melancholy We are trying to go that route through real estate. My husband is a realtor and we want to flip houses. Unfortunately, we live in a smal town and there isn't much on the market right now. Just not much opportunity here. We are starting to discuss if we want to eventually move.

[abitbroken]

@melancholy We are trying to go that route through real estate. My husband is a realtor and we want to flip houses. Unfortunately, we live in a smal town and there isn't much on the market right now. Just not much opportunity here. We are starting to discuss if we want to eventually move.

 

If you want to do this, then you need to keep your job for now to show a steady income for any loans you need, and a stable income if flipping houses doesn't go as planned and your day to day expenses are impacted. Flipping is possible in a small town but you won't find houses that are turnkey that you can flip immediately. You';; have to do some work on them to rehab them.

[Batya33]

@melancholy We are trying to go that route through real estate. My husband is a realtor and we want to flip houses. Unfortunately, we live in a smal town and there isn't much on the market right now. Just not much opportunity here. We are starting to discuss if we want to eventually move.

 

Sales has its own real stresses. I suggest you investigate this job carefully and even shadow someone who does it for a few days - or be a receptionist at a real estate company to get an inside view

[melancholy123]

@melancholy We are trying to go that route through real estate. My husband is a realtor and we want to flip houses. Unfortunately, we live in a smal town and there isn't much on the market right now. Just not much opportunity here. We are starting to discuss if we want to eventually move.

 

You could get your real estate licence and do that part time and nursing part time, then you could control your hours somewhat.

[Jibralta]

I have a lot of respect for nurses. I'd take a nurse over a doctor any day!

 

It stinks that you hate your job. There's nothing wrong with trying to develop a more fulfilling career. It's important to your mental health. But it could be difficult with family obligations. You might have to do it little by little -- "job hopping" could be the way to go. Would you be willing to move if you found a better opportunity? Also, consider trade-offs that you would be willing to make. For example, maybe a 3-minute commute would justify a less desirable type of job (poopie) because it gives you more time with your family.

 

It seems like it can be hit-or-miss in the nursing industry. I know three nurses: one hates her job (but she's only been in the industry for a couple of years), one loves her job and makes great money (but has been doing it for decades), and the third... I don't know! I haven't talked to her in a while. The first two are in the NY/NJ area and the third is in North Carolina.

[mustlovedogs]

What kind of salary do you want? What parts do you enjoy about your job?

[DancingFool]

@melancholy We are trying to go that route through real estate. My husband is a realtor and we want to flip houses. Unfortunately, we live in a smal town and there isn't much on the market right now. Just not much opportunity here. We are starting to discuss if we want to eventually move.

 

Not saying that you shouldn't move....but understand that in a bigger city, this is an extremely competitive business. Do your homework before you leap and do it again. In a busy metro area you'll find yourself pitched against seasoned competitors with cash on hand and a crew to outbid you even if the profit they turn is just a couple of grand. They can do it because they are flipping 10 of these per month or more. Whatever areas you are considering, go to the auctions and see how crazy competitive it gets. Make sure you understand what you are getting into. Where I live, realtors can actually tell who is flipping what rehab just by the paint color, as they buy it in massive bulk and use on every single property. I also know someone who is super successful in a rural small area. He does a bit of both - flipping and renting. He saves a ton because he is very capable of doing his own work rehabbing properties. He is very very well off despite being in a small area, but again....very shrewd with how he handles the properties, market, timing, etc.

[catfeeder]

I don't feel good about the work I do because I'm over worked, underpaid, and so many variables are out of my control. I'm anxious at night knowing I have to work the next day. I didn't get a degree to feel so miserable. I feel trapped.

 

I'm with you, sister. I left nursing with my degree half completed while working as a nurse's aide for about 2 years. I was healthy and in the best shape of my life, yet I still took a hit while lifting a patient with someone who couldn't count. I figured if my back is this vulnerable while I'm this young, then aging won't make this work any better for me.

 

You are not trapped by your degree, that's a self imposed mental constraint. I was better at nursing than most of the RN's who supervised me, and I didn't invest in that degree of study and skill only to bartend and sling steaks...yet that's exactly what I did for a summer. It paid more, and I had a ball because I was so HAPPY to deal with only inputs for a while.

 

I learned that nothing is ever wasted. I returned to night school while doing temp work to 'see' the inside of companies and assess corporate cultures and potential jobs from 'within'. Just the stable work schedule alone was a gift: No holidays? No double shifts? No weekends? Are you kidding?

 

You can go back into nursing for the right opportunity, but that doesn't mean you need to view yourself as a slave to it in the meantime. There's always volunteer work with your local ambulance, Red Cross, domestic violence agencies--I ended up with an alcohol and drug agency managing their public health agenda and CADC classes hosted for the local college, and I earned counselling credits for attending those.

 

I ended up with an IT career that took off, so I never went back to bedside, but hey--very few people ever end up building their careers within the limitations of their original BS or BA majors. For some reason, nurses view themselves as an exception to that norm, but they don't HAVE TO. They've demo'd an intelligence that's uncommon just by passing their courses and exams, and few potential employers and mentors would argue against a reasonable desire to leave the floor in the same manner that nobody tends to fault nuns who leave the convent.

 

It can be done! And you'll thank yourself later as you stumble around to find fabulous things to get paid for that don't involve poo.

 

Head high, and write more if it helps.

[Fudgie]

Why not pursue more of an administrative role within a hospital? Or maybe return for a Masters so you can go more of a nursing education route? Or nurse practitioner?

 

I have worked in the nursing field since I was 18, years worth of nursing assistant experience in the hospital, and will be getting RN soon and I plan to do my Masters as well. I am wondering - did the "gross" stuff get to you when you started? Or have you slowly come to hate it because you don't feel that the positives outweigh the negatives?

 

You have a lot of options. You're in a pretty versatile field.

 

Catfeeder, I threw my back out years ago while working as an assistant with a difficult patient. S__t sucks, I still have back pain time to time but I am thankful that I am out of that role now. Now if I move people, I have proper help and equipment whereas before, I would get ignored.

[Starlight925]

It sucks to not like what you do for a living, as you spend so many hours doing it. And you're not even getting paid enough to deal with it, plus you don't feel you're even being recognized for all the work you do, and the hours you put in.

 

I have been there done that. Very different career path, but what I started out doing when I was younger turned out to be miserable. I found myself crying on Friday nights because the week had been so stressful, and dreading Sunday nights because Monday was around the corner. I did make a complete career change into something completely different, and it's been the best 12 years of my professional life, and I hope to retire into what I'm doing.

 

Recognition is important, I don't care what anyone says. We want that pat on the back, that great feedback, that helpful constructive criticism. It speaks to the schoolchild in all of us.

 

There are companies that encourage this, and there are people you could work for who are great at it.

 

I know, because I spent decades being treated like crap, by people who never gave me anything but indifference. Now, I work for a company that values its people, and I have a boss who values and supports me, and because I feel so supported, I work harder, and I'm on a team of people who all feel the same way, so I feel like I'm part of something much bigger.

 

Do something different. Do not be afraid.

 

I actually took a giganto pay cut, because by the time I decided to leave, I had worked up to a nice salary. I literally took 25% of what I was making....75% less. I was married at the time, and my husband wanted me to just quit, I was so miserable. You know what? The money came back, slowly, and now it's even more.

 

Your feelings are completely valid, and you sound like you have a great head on your shoulders about it. You don't sound like you'll make any snap decisions, and you obviously work super hard as being a nurse is one of the toughest gigs around. You got this.

[Batya33]

With all respect, I don't think her issue is the indifference/uncaring of her supervisors -she's just not happy with her career choice because her expectations about the grunt work/menial labor don't mesh with reality and the type/extent of that work isn't consistent with her vision of feeling like she's making a contribution. And that's ok. But given that (IMO) she should carefully research her next job idea and hopefully shadow someone to see what the reality is. And the need to feel supported (the schoolgirl analogy- love it) varies so much individually especially with how much one loves the work itself and who is supposed to give the feedback (might be a custmer/client rather than the boss, for example, or the boss might be great but you need the support of the admin staff even more, etc).

 

I'm concerned about how long she studied nursing and then how surprised she was about what it entailed plus her seeming unwillingness to do nursing in a setting where there may be less of the unseemly stuff (meaning, unseemly to her).

 

I'm sorry LH you had to go through this. Been there, I get it!!

[indea08]

Thank you guys for the support. I doubt you are still following my thread, but I'll respond anyways in case you are.

 

I was okay with the gross stuff at the beginning of my career. Wounds were actually my favorite. And I was happy to help people. As time has gone on, there has just been too much negativity. For example, grown and independent 50 something year old men who suddenly can't reach their genitals and need me to hold it for them so they can pee. Too many able adults who expect me to clean and wipe their butt simply because they are too lazy to get out of bed and get to the toilet. Too many on call evenings getting home at midnight and having 3 hours worth of charting to do, and having to work the next day. I literally could go on for an hour.

 

Bottom line, I have to leave. I'm searching for a different area in the mean time, but I've yet to find what I'm looking for. Management requires being on call 24/7 so I won't go that route again.

 

But you guys have made me feel like I'm doing the right thing by not accepting that this is all my career will be. I can't accept that.

 

And as far as validation, yeah a "great job today!" from my boss would be nice...but it means nothing compared to me knowing myself that I did a great job. No one expects more of me than myself. And I need better than this.

[Starlight925]

If you're interested in sales, have you thought about the pharmaceutical/medical device sales route? There is more money in it, lots more time flexibility, a company car, and you already have a lot of the science background. There are also jobs with the distributors who sell all the supplies to your hospital.

 

Another option is nursing in a doctor's private practice, i.e. a gastroenterologist. Where you have a set schedule, and the office closes at a certain time.

 

Or about surgical nursing?

 

Or, and I know this requires more schooling, but an nurse anesthetist? I have a friend who went back to school after several years of unfulfilled nursing, and she does this now, and she loves it. She's in the surgeries, but then she's home for her child, and the money is a ton better. She's part of a surgical team that she loves. I'm sure you know way more about this than I do.

 

As for the bad things you describe about your job, I totally get it. I was hospitalized a few years ago, and I felt soooooo bad for the nurses who had to endure some really gross things on my behalf. Of course, they were all wonderful, and they all made sure I didn't feel bad about it, and that it was their job, etc., but I kept thinking.....I'm actually probably one of the easiest patients on their floor, as I was honestly trying to get up and get to the bathroom myself. There were others who were completely bedridden, and I knew what those nurses were dealing with.

[abitbroken]

Thank you guys for the support. I doubt you are still following my thread, but I'll respond anyways in case you are.

 

I was okay with the gross stuff at the beginning of my career. Wounds were actually my favorite. And I was happy to help people. As time has gone on, there has just been too much negativity. For example, grown and independent 50 something year old men who suddenly can't reach their genitals and need me to hold it for them so they can pee. Too many able adults who expect me to clean and wipe their butt simply because they are too lazy to get out of bed and get to the toilet. Too many on call evenings getting home at midnight and having 3 hours worth of charting to do, and having to work the next day. I literally could go on for an hour.

 

Bottom line, I have to leave. I'm searching for a different area in the mean time, but I've yet to find what I'm looking for. Management requires being on call 24/7 so I won't go that route again.

 

But you guys have made me feel like I'm doing the right thing by not accepting that this is all my career will be. I can't accept that.

 

And as far as validation, yeah a "great job today!" from my boss would be nice...but it means nothing compared to me knowing myself that I did a great job. No one expects more of me than myself. And I need better than this.

 

Maybe those adults that you complain about wiping their rears - maybe they are in severe pain.

Have you tried the Emergency Room --- you don't take care of patients once admitted and the chance of you having to help someone use the bathroom is slimmer. you get lots of wounds, and won't feel like restaurant staff.

[Fudgie]

There are so many areas you could work as a nurse. ER, urgent care, etc. Urgent care places don't have overnight shifts and you'd have more regular hours too. You have so many options. Honestly, I would not be happy working where you are now full time, hence why I prefer to float.