Wanting to be friends leading to wanting more

[Ben2001]

This is going to sound really stupid compared to other things on this site but whatever. So I got my first girlfriend in April and we were together for 2 and a half months. We were so happy together and had plans to do so much over the summer. But then, she decided to end it. She said that she didn't have time for a relationship, which was true because she had alot of school work to be done, and she said that she wasn't ready for a relationship. She said that she really wanted for us to stay friends and continue hanging out.

 

Reminder, this was the first relationship that either of us had been in. I was just so shocked because I treated her so well and we never fought or anything like that. So I thought that maybe if I allow us to be friends and we do continue to hang out, I can convince her to get back together with me. But then, a week later, she said that she needed some space. I didn't really understand what that meant but her mom threatened to get the school involved so I backed off. 2 weeks later I couldn't bear leaving her alone and felt that I needed her back in my life, so I write her a letter and left it on her car.

 

The next Monday, I got called into the office to be told that I can't have any contact with her. No text, no notes, no conversation, no nothing. I was heart broken. Over the summer, I spent every day thinking about her and missing her so greatly. And then schooled recently started up and I've only seen her probably 10 times, only 1 being really close to her. I just have this urge to go up to her and talk to her and do my best to patch things up. But then just last week, my soccer team played at the same time at hers in the field by the side. I thought that it might be cool seeing her, but I was wrong. After the game, me and my friend are walking back to the car at the same time my ex was. I got in the car and looked straight ahead and to my left to see her and that's when our eyes met. Nothing happened and it crushed my heart down to a billion tiny pieces.

 

The fact that somebody who made me the happiest I've been won't even acknowledge me is just shattering. Over the summer, I had mixed feelings about her. I wanted to get back with her for the first half but then those faded as I found it more and more unrealistic for it to happen. But then, just a few weeks ago, those feelings have once again emerged. I don't know what to do because it's been close to 4 months since the initial breakup but I'm still hanging on for some reason. I even tried to reach out to her via her mom to see if it would be possible to make it up to her, but only to be shut down and rejected. And now, I feel this great pain that I hadn't felt before except for during the break up, and I don't know what to do.

[DanZee]

You've got to calm down. No matter what you had during the spring, the girl and her family don't want you near her. And they've gotten the school involved to enforce their wishes. You have to stay away from her. I know it hurts, but they've made a rational decision over an emotional one. You have to look for someone else to have a relationship with. The next relationship will be better than the first, especially now that you have some experience.