My boyfriends ex still contacts him...

[kaymonty0206]

My boyfriend is from a different country and he has been living here now for 3 years we have been in a relationship for nearly a year now and she still contacts him.... it bugs me so much, even though she’s in a different country I’m not sure why it bugs me or why I’m intimidated.... should I message the girl and he get mad at me ? I’ve mentioned it to him and he says oh she knows about you or you have nothing to worry about she’s not here you are ect ect... am I going crazy? I really don’t know what to do all I know is that every time he’s talking to her it pisses me off and he usually doesn’t talk to her around me just cause he knows it pisses me off.... but it makes me even more scared because what’s he saying if he talks to her when I’m not around .......? Help!!!!

[j.man]

Either pee on him to mark your territory, accept the fact he has a friendship with his ex, or dump him to find someone whose boundaries include not talking to exes anymore.

 

How long have you been together?

[Pretzel]

I would talk to him to find out why he is still talking to her, what he gains from their friendship, and what his motives are.

 

If you don't sort this out now, you'll become insecure and it will not allow you two to have a healthy relationship. That's what happened to me in my last relationship. I don't believe that my ex was ever going to get back with his ex, but his lack of reassurance to me and his lack of understanding and sensitivity made me feel unsettled.

[Starlight925]

Like Pretzel, I had the same situation. And yes, I ended up spending 1.5 years feeling insecure.

 

In my case, it was actually 3 (!!!) exes. He finally unfriended/blocked them, but the day we broke up, he contacted all 3 again. Turns out, he never wanted any of them back, and he hasn't seen them since. But, and this is just my case, yours may be different: he knows they are all still in love with him, and he just can't resist having their affection on him.

 

If your boyfriend is allowing contact, there's a reason.

[Andrina]

He cares more about the ego boost and excitement or whatever he gets from communicating with an ex, than caring about compromising the relationship with you, and how it makes you feel. When you only have one precious life on this planet, why settle for a partner like this? You deserve better.

[catfeeder]

I can only speak for myself. I won't involve myself with anyone who is still involved with an ex in any way, shape or form beyond shared children. You're learning why.