Just want to make sure I make the right decision

[Magicalbeauty1]

HI. My bf is 20 and I am 22. We moved into a apartment together 6 months ago in march and we've dated for 6 years. Lately I feel that he may be holding me back and I feel really bad for feeling that. But because of him I am scared to go on vacations with my family or hang out with anyone. I don't have any friends really because every time I went out without him, he got really hostile and mean and made me have a horrible time. I applied to a job working with horses in the mountains and it would require me to leave for 3 months. I haven't told him yet because I dread that he would get super angry. I just feel that I am still young and can meet lots of people and travel, but I feel like he doesn't want me to do that. He should be happy for me but he isnt. I support him in everything but even if I invite him to see my ride horses (my hobby) he gets iffy. I invite him out on our day off and he tells me everything I want to do is lame. But then I ask what he wants to do and he says he wants to play xbox and smoke weed. (Like always). One day he will say mean things that hurt my feelings and the next he will be super sweet and say i love you. I found girls clothes in his car and he says he doesn't know who's they are. But I am pretty sure he knows. There were shoes and clothes... I think this relationship is coming to an end and I wanna end it. But how do I do that without making him super angry? And how do I keep myself from handling the breakup super hard if I move out? Do you think I'm making the right decision? I'm just getting fed up with him saying he doesn't care if I go out and then I go out and he acts really horrible. He goes out with friends late at night and I don't complain. One of them is a girl and they have been super close lately and I just don't trust him. He doesn't trust me. I don't know why. I have never cheated on him. I dont even have friends cause of him.But he will always hint that he suspects I am cheating. I don't know what to do

[Ziggy123]

What are you asking? If you should break up with him? That's you're decision ultimately. Sounds like a crappy relationship from what you have said here though.

[abitbroken]

There is no way you can do it without making him super angry. He is going to throw a whiney baby fit.

 

What you should do is make sure everything is straight with your lease. Is it almost up? are you on it? And i would make sure someone is with you when you take your things out of the apartment. I would clear out your most important stuff (family pictures, etc,) when he is not home. If you are leaving, i might arrange to pay a month of rent if he can't afford the place without a roommate and i would move my stuff that i am not taking to where you are working with horses to your parents house or storage unit he doesn't have access to and when you come back to town, don't contact him - or you are free to move elsewhere

[ListerChick]

How long have you felt like this, did your feelings of being held back start around the time you moved in together? Have you lived together before? It's a big step and can put a relationship under pressure. And girl, you sound like you've already mentally left this relationship. You just need your feet to follow. Perhaps you were a good match for each other when you were younger but you've grown apart.

 

There is no way to avoid the anger; it will probably hurt - for both of you. You've just gotta summon the strength and rip that band-aid off.

[Magicalbeauty1]

HI @listerchick, I have felt like this for a while now. About 2 years...but it's just getting worse and I cannot avoid it. I don't want to waste my life away sitting and watching him play xbox . I just feel like I need to do my own thing without him. It started to increase more after we moved in together. This is my first time living with him. Before I just slept at his place a couple times a week.

 

@abitbroken our lease still has 6 months ago but we have a roommate and if I really have to, I would pay off the rest of my part of the rent until the lease is up. I would rather not though. And yes no contact is important to me. Thank you for your answer

[ListerChick]

If you've felt like you've been trying to make it work for 2 years then I would say that you have grown apart - which is sad but it happens.

 

A loving relationship is a wonderful thing but not all loves last forever - sometimes you're only right for each other for part of your lifetimes.