Advice Needed: Been out of the dating game for a while

[WaywardKiwi]

Hey everyone,

 

THE BACKGROUND: I am 34, pretty well educated, average looks. I have living in a fairly remote part of Japan for just over a year, where I teach English. Prior to moving to Japan, I ended a 5 year relationship (amicably), and I have always struggled with low level social anxiety, particularly with women.

 

THE SITUATION: I recently met a girl. She is 24, American, also a teacher. She has only recently arrived in the area and we met at an event for local foreigners. We didn't interact too much at that event, but I found her attractive, so I subsequently invited her hang out with me and 2 other friends (via txt) on a Sunday. We hung out, chatted, etc etc. I like her wit and personality. Since then we have been txting everyday. We generally reply 1-1 and both keep the conversation going by introducing new questions etc in equal measure. We have made a lot of plans to hang out throughout the next month, plus discussed further out plans. I have been a little flirty (but not very), although I have noted she doesn't seem to respond strongly to it. My impression is that she is very friendly, gregarious and somewhat 'innocent' (i.e. we occaisionally make sexual jokes, but overall she seems not that way inclined).

 

THE QUESTION: We had both planned to attend a festival event tonight. I had planned to basically 'make a move' (i.e. make clear I was interested in her) - probably by simply telling her and asking if she would like to go to dinner sometime. However, she txt me this morning saying she isn't sure whe will make it tonight as she went out last night and is very tired (hungover). I teased her about it (called her a grandma basically) and said I would still be going and if she comes I'll see her there. My question is - should I take this as a clear signal she is not interested? We already have further plans (as friends) the following weekend (and subsequent weekend), so if it is a sign I am happy to move on and just be friends. However I have met very few women I am interested in over the last 2 years, so if she may be interested I would like to continue to pursue it...

 

Thanks for you advice,

 

T

[melancholy123]

The girl said she's tired. She didnt say she didnt want to see you nor did she cancel future plans with you. You are reading too much into this. Hangovers dont make people want to do much other than recover.