should i break up?

[Jonasbo]

hey guys. I hope you can help me with what to do, im really upset.

 

i recently moved away from the city in which my girlfriend for almost two years lives (like a month ago). ive been going to see her every weekend since then, its like 2.5 hours with public transport each way. since i have work in the week days i come on friday night around 10pm and leave on sunday afternoon - so we only have 1-2 days together at week.

 

last weekend i noticed she was sitting on her phone for many hours and asked her what she was doing for so long. she just replied "nothing". after a while she had left for the bathroom, her phone lying on the table, and i saw a facebook message notification from some guy (lets call him BK) talking about visiting. when she came back and continued to sit with her snout in her phone and a smile on her face, i asked again what she was doing, she said she was writing with her best girlfriend.

 

after she fell asleep i logged in to her facebook and found the messages.

 

heres some shinppets of what they said to eachother( i will call him "BK" and her "SP"):

 

BK: : are you seeing anyone?

SP: I am dating someone

BK: is he a good guy?

SP: i dont know.

 

BK: i still love you.

SP: thats a huge thing to say, you know.

BK: i know.

SP: honestly if it werent for the distance i would wanna be with you

 

they proceded exchanging graphic sexual messages, making jokes at my expense, talked about meeting up, how life suck because distance is keeping them apart, and alot more.

 

turns out it was her exboyfriend who moved to america 3 years ago.

 

please what should i do? am i putting too much into it?

[Hollyj]

End it. She has feelings for this guy and is cheating on you emotionally.

[glitterfingers]

Yes you should break up

[MissCanuck]

Yes, it's over. She's already checked out and considering your replacements.

[Mama12]

Yes!!Break up,,why play the fool?

[Giblesp]

Its very obvious that you should metaphorically kick her out of your life right now.

 

The question is, why can you not see that for yourself? I'm guessing you've been tolerating abuse from her for a while.

[PHENOMENOL]

To be honest,

You should talk to her about it

and tell her your sorry for getting into her personal space

 

Than ask her does she still have feelings for her ex boyfriend ?

and see how it goes. If she states Yes....

Than just move forward and keep it as friend and

find someone that's not in love.

 

This is why you have to ask questions before getting into a relationship

So you know what you are dealing with and not have your heart broken.

[Hollyj]

To be honest,

You should talk to her about it

and tell her your sorry for getting into her personal space

 

Than ask her does she still have feelings for her ex boyfriend ?

and see how it goes. If she states Yes....

Than just move forward and keep it as friend and

find someone that's not in love.

 

This is why you have to ask questions before getting into a relationship

So you know what you are dealing with and not have your heart broken.

 

NO. Do not waste your time!!! She is already cheating, and her actions say it all.

[Hollyj]

NO. Do not waste your time!!! She is already cheating, and her actions say it all.

 

 

And, you DO NOT need to be friends with someone who is untrustworthy. You can do better in the friend dept.

[Hollyj]

To be honest,

You should talk to her about it

and tell her your sorry for getting into her personal space

 

Than ask her does she still have feelings for her ex boyfriend ?

and see how it goes. If she states Yes....

Than just move forward and keep it as friend and

find someone that's not in love.

 

This is why you have to ask questions before getting into a relationship

So you know what you are dealing with and not have your heart broken.

 

C'mon, do you really believe someone is going to be truthful about this! If so, I have a Bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

 

They have been together for 2 years, don't you think she would have told him by now.

[PHENOMENOL]

Well, Yes

but is better to confront and talk about the situation than just jump to conclusion.

 

Like I said , speak to her & know where her mind is at.

If she does have feelings for him, leave her

 

There is a reason why she did it, Maybe she fells like the relationship is not going nowhere because you guys are far away.

or

She feels alone and want you closer.

 

so speak to her about it, and than make your decision.

[Hollyj]

Well, Yes

but is better to confront and talk about the situation than just jump to conclusion.

 

Like I said , speak to her & know where her mind is at.

If she does have feelings for him, leave her

 

There is a reason why she did it, Maybe she fells like the relationship is not going nowhere because you guys are far away.

or

She feels alone and want you closer.

 

so speak to her about it, and than make your decision.

 

If she is sending nudes and having intimate talk with her ex, I don't know how much more clear things could be.

 

If an ex was telling me he loved me, I would stop the convos, immediately. She is equally engaging. No mystery, here.

 

Cheating is not a way to bring any relationship closer. It also says a lot about character.

 

It didn't help when you confronted your bf. He continued to lie and stalk his ex.

[catfeeder]

I wouldn't bother breaking up, I'd just stop visiting. She'll either 'get it' or not, but why invest in a breakup drama with someone who has already moved past you?

[PHENOMENOL]

All im saying to find out if she has feeling and why she did it...... and than he can move forward with the truth to why she did those actions

[PHENOMENOL]

All im saying to find out if she has feeling and why she did it...... and than he can move forward with the truth to why she did those actions

[Hollyj]

You're also assuming that she won't lie.

[MissCanuck]

All im saying to find out if she has feeling and why she did it...... and than he can move forward with the truth to why she did those actions

 

Unfortunately, he isn't likely to get the full truth. People who are behaving badly behind their partners' backs are not exactly the honest type to begin with.

[Jonasbo]

End it. She has feelings for this guy and is cheating on you emotionally.

 

Yes you should break up

 

Yes, it's over. She's already checked out and considering your replacements.

 

Yes!!Break up,,why play the fool?

 

Its very obvious that you should metaphorically kick her out of your life right now.

 

The question is, why can you not see that for yourself? I'm guessing you've been tolerating abuse from her for a while.

 

To be honest,

You should talk to her about it

and tell her your sorry for getting into her personal space

 

Than ask her does she still have feelings for her ex boyfriend ?

and see how it goes. If she states Yes....

Than just move forward and keep it as friend and

find someone that's not in love.

 

This is why you have to ask questions before getting into a relationship

So you know what you are dealing with and not have your heart broken.

 

NO. Do not waste your time!!! She is already cheating, and her actions say it all.

 

And, you DO NOT need to be friends with someone who is untrustworthy. You can do better in the friend dept.

 

C'mon, do you really believe someone is going to be truthful about this! If so, I have a Bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

 

They have been together for 2 years, don't you think she would have told him by now.

 

Well, Yes

but is better to confront and talk about the situation than just jump to conclusion.

 

Like I said , speak to her & know where her mind is at.

If she does have feelings for him, leave her

 

There is a reason why she did it, Maybe she fells like the relationship is not going nowhere because you guys are far away.

or

She feels alone and want you closer.

 

so speak to her about it, and than make your decision.

 

If she is sending nudes and having intimate talk with her ex, I don't know how much more clear things could be.

 

If an ex was telling me he loved me, I would stop the convos, immediately. She is equally engaging. No mystery, here.

 

Cheating is not a way to bring any relationship closer. It also says a lot about character.

 

It didn't help when you confronted your bf. He continued to lie and stalk his ex.

 

I wouldn't bother breaking up, I'd just stop visiting. She'll either 'get it' or not, but why invest in a breakup drama with someone who has already moved past you?

 

All im saying to find out if she has feeling and why she did it...... and than he can move forward with the truth to why she did those actions

 

All im saying to find out if she has feeling and why she did it...... and than he can move forward with the truth to why she did those actions

 

You're also assuming that she won't lie.

 

Unfortunately, he isn't likely to get the full truth. People who are behaving badly behind their partners' backs are not exactly the honest type to begin with.

 

 

thank you very much for your replies. that was my view exactly. just wanted to make sure after she's been playing the sympathy card alot over this process, a beggy, teary face tends to work well on me. I have broken up