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I don't know what's wrong with me


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So I'm a 25 year old male and I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now. I truly love her more than I ever thought I could love someone and she means the world to me. She has a great personality, values, morales and everything I want in a girl that I would marry. I've even been thinking about getting engaged and how amazing it would be to start a family in the next 5 years.


But I've messed up countless times. I physically cheated once with another girl by her giving me oral sex two years ago and we took a break in which she saw a couple other guys and I didn't see anyone. We got back together and I've messed up two more times since then. Nothing physical but I make a tinder account and then start talking to other girls but I never intend on anything more than just talk to them and flirt. Every time I do this my girlfriend catches me and I stop and start earning her trust back and then I seem to mess up again.


Well last night was the final straw and she said she's done because me hurting her hurts more than how much it hurts to leave me. I've told her that I'm getting help for this and I am getting counseling starting next week to talk to someone to see why I do this because I can't answer that myself. I'm always thinking about how pretty other girls are and I know I shouldn't even think about other girls because I truly do love the one I was with for three years. I just can't seem to stop making the same stupid mistake when I know it's wrong and I hate myself for it.

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Yikes. Ok, where do I even begin... When you mentioned creating a tinder account just to talk and flirt with other women I finally understood whats going on with you. Whats going on with you is you love a girl. But love sometimes doesn't satisfy your ego. Theres a part of you as a man that still wants to know if you have "A+ game" with the ladies to satisfy your self esteem/ego because it is LOW my friend, let me tell you...


The wisest thing someone has ever told me once is that men cheat because of their EGO (keyword in this whole situation) because of the "lust" factor, you just want sex and you like the rush and newness of being with another woman. It doesn't mean you don't love your gf, but it does mean you have a serious ego problem. ESPECIALLY if this is how many times you've screwed up. Notice your gf started seeing other people once yall broke up? It's because when a women cheats and or sees other men, it comes from an emotional place. Thats why they say that when women cheat it's more of an emotional/deeper problem.


My advice to you, unfaithfulness comes from a place of immaturity In my opinion. If you're not ready for a relationship, don't be in one. Relationships come from a place of maturity, of a commitment to faithfulness... When you have a good woman, don't lose her. Especially a faithful once that you have a connection with. You took it for granted and now you hurt her and your own heart. Let me remind you that you can match with 50 women (hypothetically speaking) but a number is a number, and think about how many of those 50 girls can you actually have a deeper connection with, can make you laugh till you cry, and can make memories with you you'll never forget? Maybe 1 or 2. Or maybe none. The rest are just hot and maybe have nothing in common with you but only swiped for your looks too, so just think about that.


However....Now that Ive explained to you what I think is going on as a general exterior point of view. Let me also remind you that You're human, you made mistakes but now it's time to own up to your mistakes and make it a vow to yourself this year to focus on you and only you and grow your self esteem. Let go of this poor girl because for the time being if you even have the need to be on tinder you're not ready for this. Be single, focus on understanding yourself on a deeper level as to why you did these things, forgive yourself with time.. and hopefully try to never make the same mistakes again!

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