Boyfriend going away for college, scared for future?

[emilyag67]

So here’s the situation. Me and my current boyfriend have been dating for quite a bit now, and we’ve basically become each other’s best friend. We can easily say we love each other and mean it, as I am the first person he’s actually been in a serious relationship with and fallen for, and I can agree. He’s had a crush on me for a long time before we even started dating, so I know that we have quite a strong bond and we both highly believe this relationship could last a while for the most part.

 

Anyway, the problem is, he’s one year older and he is going to be off to college before me. This wasn’t an issue beforehand because the college he was originally going to apply for is only about 45 minutes away. However, he is starting to look at more colleges and the one he feels is best for him for the job he wants to pursue is about 5 hours from me, so he’d be moving to that city for the schooling.

 

Obviously I want the best for him. I’m not going to stop him because I want him to get that education, but I’m terrified for our future because of it. I’ve heard so many horror stories about long distance relationships when one or the other is in college and it worries me a lot. Like I said, if things stay consistant like how they are now, I can see us lasting until then (next year) but I know it’s going to be different when he moves away. He always reassures me that we’ll be okay. We both trust each other and support each other but I can’t shake off the feeling of the distance messing things up. I know 5 hours away isn’t super far in comparison to some LDRs, but I’ve only ever been in one other relationship (not actually dating I guess, just had a thing) where there was that amount of distance between us, so it’ll be difficult to get used to.

 

I know it’s still a while away for me to be even asking about this, but I just want to plan ahead of time so I know what to do when the time comes if we’re still together, which I’m hoping is the case. Any advice?

[lovengal]

Hey girl! I'm currently in a LDR (about a 4 hour distance). The only difference is that it's me who is in college, however he's coming to my school next year. So far LDR has only brought my guy and I closer and here's why:

 

1. An LDR takes trust. Period. If one of you is insecure or untrustworthy about the relationship, then communicate! But having that trust is a must when it comes to distance.

2. When he visits me or I visit him, we are extremely happy to see each other. I know couples are normally happy when they see each other, but when it comes to distance, couples get super excited about seeing their SO, and it's like magic now when I see him.

3. We FaceTime and call each other not because we feel obligated to, but because both of us feel genuinely happy and excited to hear/see each other. Some LDR couples schedule these types of things. It works sometimes but other times it just turns into a chore. Eventually couples start to get bored with one another or think of it something they NEED to do, but they should want to.

4. Thinking of the brightside really helps whenever I'm missing my guy. I list the reasons why I should be happy with my situation and not sad and it works! Plus in my situation, distance is only temporary and he's coming to my school next year, which we are both super excited about.

5. Know that you don't need to be with your SO all the time. Having that sense of independence is sometimes a good thing when you're on your own. Whenever I get a text or phone call from my guy, my heart skips a beat still, but I value the fact that I can lay in my bed watching Netflix all night every night. Alone time is nice.

 

All in all, think positively. Be chill with each other, know that sometimes things just won't work out out. 40% of LDR's don't work because of unexpected changes of the relationship. I get really scared about it too but then I realize, if he's the ONE, then things will work out themselves. One of my family friends was long distance with her current husband of 30 years. At the time they were dating but one took a job in another state. The only way they could communicate with one another was by payphone for five minutes per week and this went on for about 6 months.

 

When I feel down about my guy being so far away, I think of that story and it makes me feel so much better because love prevails! And I do love my guy unconditionally.

 

Best of luck to you!!! Hope this helps