My ex gf sais she doesn't want to get back together, but acts the opposite way. What does she want?

[Cappe23]

So, let me tell you my story.

 

A few weeks back, my ex girlfriend cheated on me, but she also immediately told me about it and she regretted it a lot. Too late, I know, but I think she hurted herself as much as she hurted me. She didn't understand herself how she could have done that.

I forgave her (too) soon and I did everything I could to fix things, to heal our relationship, to right her wrongs, but two weeks later, she broke up with me. She said she still loved me and she was going to miss me a lot but she just couldn't do it anymore and our relationship did her more bad than good. We both cried a lot so it's not like she didn't care.

 

Again a week or two later, I went to a party with a group of friends, including my ex, we share some of the same friends so thats why we both were there. She talked to my best friend about us and told him that she didn't want to get back together with me, at least not this year. My friend later told this to me.

But that night at the party we got pretty close. She had some personal problems that I knew of and she told me that she finally was going to seek professional help so I hugged her because I was happy for her that hopefully things were going to get better for her.

There were a lot of people so we were packed closely together, I was being pressed against my ex and our hands touched, and before I knew we were holding hands. I later put my hand on her lower back and she did the same to me. We were kinda hugging and stuff. It basically felt like we were a couple except there was no kissing. I tried to convince her to kiss me, and we wouldn't do anything wrong if we kissed, and that we could try being a couple again, but she denied the whole evening, but we were still holding hands, hugging, and being pretty close.

 

I asked her if I could at least get a kiss on my cheek and she kissed me on my cheek, right after I asked if I could get a kiss on my lips but she denied again, and it kept on going like that for a while.

 

At the end of the evening when we were al saying goodbye, I asked for one more cheek-kiss, but before I knew what happened she kissed my on my lips, it was very briefly and not an intense kiss or anything, but still...

 

What does she really want? Does or doesn't she want me back.

 

Please give your opinion

 

Thanks a lot

 

Casper

[kctiger]

Was there alcohol involved in this interaction? I think you were just a convenient person to talk with at the party and it almost sounds as if you got friend zoned, at least that night. Why would you want someone back who not only cheated on you, but then broke up with you? I know it is difficult not to over analyze actions of someone we still care deeply for in a romantic sense, but I would try to just focus on other areas of your life and leave her to live hers. IF she wants to get back with you and if you've done a good enough job rebuilding a life you enjoy, you can make a rational decision on whether to pursue. This decision will be better made based not on emotions but on logic. Right now, you are still (understandably) very emotional. If you two were drinking that night, I imagine that has something to do with the interaction as well. Again, IF she wants you back, she'll be direct. I don't think what happened that night in any way suggests she's interested in rekindling this fire.

[Cappe23]

I had four beers spread over the night, but as far as I know she only had one drink at the beginning of the night, so not all that much.

[Rustysuit]

Sorry, dude, but you sound like a 16 year old who can't face the truth.

 

Repeatedly asking for a kiss all night long? That's every woman's dream!

She cheated on you and no time has passed for her to reflect on what she did or why she did it. You also sound very immature.

 

All in all, I don't see this going anywhere, even if she comes back

[dave4443]

Did the same as you're doing now back in my younger days. You'll feel all this now because you aren't together and don't want to lose her, if you get her back you'll be happy for a few months, then you'll start to get annoyed about the cheating once the initial joy wears off.

 

Try as hard as you can to not act like this, she's managed to cheat on you and have you chase her too, in the long run you'll resent her for it, and in the longer run you'll realise it wasn't worth it and you can do better. Try to take a shorter way than I did and get out now

[Maddie91x]

Repeatedly asking for a kiss all night long? That's every woman's dream!

 

As a woman I beg to differ on this point. I have been in this position with my ex. There was no cheating involved but a week after we broke up I spent the evening with her and kept joking around saying things like "make your mind up, either kiss me or stop staring at my lips, one or the other" (she was very obviously staring at my mouth) then when we said goodbye I joked again "so are you going to kiss me or what" both times she refused a kiss. A few days later we spoke about it, and she openly admitted that she did want to kiss me but at the same time was scared of all those feelings of hurt and helplessness coming rushing back. A kiss is a very intimate thing, and she probably didn't want to give you any wrong impressions. I agree with the comments saying I'm not sure why you would want her back - for me cheating is very final so I would have no interest in getting her back. But "every woman's dream"? Actually it can be embarrassing and frustrating when someone pester you all night for a kiss, even someone that you have feelings for.

[Rustysuit]

As a woman I beg to differ on this point. I have been in this position with my ex. There was no cheating involved but a week after we broke up I spent the evening with her and kept joking around saying things like "make your mind up, either kiss me or stop staring at my lips, one or the other" (she was very obviously staring at my mouth) then when we said goodbye I joked again "so are you going to kiss me or what" both times she refused a kiss. A few days later we spoke about it, and she openly admitted that she did want to kiss me but at the same time was scared of all those feelings of hurt and helplessness coming rushing back. A kiss is a very intimate thing, and she probably didn't want to give you any wrong impressions. I agree with the comments saying I'm not sure why you would want her back - for me cheating is very final so I would have no interest in getting her back. But "every woman's dream"? Actually it can be embarrassing and frustrating when someone pester you all night for a kiss, even someone that you have feelings for.

 

I was being sarcastic

[Maddie91x]

I apologise. I have Aspergers- I don't always see/understand sarcasm x

[Rustysuit]

I apologise. I have Aspergers- I don't always see/understand sarcasm x

 

It happens. Sarcasm through text sometimes get lost on the way xD