I fell in love in my best friend who is taken.

[PostMalone1]

I am 17 and fell in love in a girl from the year below me. She has a boyfriend but are going through a rough time with him and my best friend likes her now. I am just to afraid to tell her that I actually like her.

 

I met her 5 years ago and became good friends with her. We talked almost everyday for a few month and talked from time to time for a few years. I helped her no matter what and was always there for her. We stopped talking because she became popular and all the lads wanted her. 2 months ago we met down

town and spend the whole day down town with her and our friend. Since that day i talked to her everyday on Skype and whenever she needed a problem I talk to her and text her all the time. She is going through a though time with her boyfriend and her friends. I started caring for her so much that now I can’t get her out of my head. My best friend told me that he liked her and told her too. It hurts me because I know he wouldn’t care about her if she completely rejected him. I still didn’t tell her because I am just scared to tell her. She has the most amazing eyes and smile I have ever seen. I just don’t know should I tell her all of this but I don’t want to mess up with her head even more because she had boys texting her everyday. She trust me with her heart and I am just afraid to tell her this because she will most likely reject me because she is slowly starting to like my best friend. The dilemma I have is that he already stole one girl that I liked and don’t know should I do the same to him.

 

She is in my head all day long. I am willing to do anything for her. She always says those things like why can’t you be my boyfriend your so nice and this just messes with my head. I want to say yes but I don’t either. She is perfect for me because she says she is bossy and always needs attention but I am the guy for that. I also don’t want to play around my best friend like that. I do support her and I am trying to help her and her boyfriend stay together so my best friend won’t get her. I always left girls for my friend but this girl is too perfect for me.

 

If someone ever experience this I just want a response on what should I do because loosing her would hurt the most. But I know I could make her life better.

[abitbroken]

I think you want her because she's not available/there is competition, because if you really wanted to date her, you would have already. You have known her for 5 years and you had your chance to ask her out/to make a move in that direction.

 

I am willing to do anything for her. She always says those things like why can’t you be my boyfriend your so nice and this just messes with my head.

 

. You should have said "i could be your boyfriend...if you were not dating someone else." and then Stop being her counselor/male girlfriend. Don't always be so available to her. If you are not available to her, she will miss you and seek you out --- or she will forget about you.. Also, stop trying to keep her and her boyfriend together just so your friend can't have her. That's crazy. She willl do what she will do. I think that you secretly really don't want her because you like torturing yourself. But mostly -- she is in a relationship and you are not a friend if you don't respect that!

[abitbroken]

She is perfect for me because she says she is bossy and always needs attention but I am the guy for that.

 

She says she is bossy and she says you are the guy to be bossed? Are you sure you want anything to do with her? Honestly, if you really like her, you can't be friends with her anymore. I would stop communicating with her, honestly, because you are attracted to her and want more than friends. Respect her relationship and have you thought that her relationship is rocky because you KEEP INTERFERING with it??

[Snny]

I hate cherry picking quotes, but you need to see this for yourself.

 

She has a boyfriend but are going through a rough time with him

Since that day i talked to her everyday on Skype and whenever she needed a problem I talk to her.

she is slowly starting to like my best friend.

You have the classic "white knight" syndrome. This basically means that anytime she has some sort of problem (particularly a social one), you feel compelled to protect her, like a "white knight" coming to save her from all her troubles. It seems chivalric on the outside, but it is very manipulative. Within your writing you have already villianized her boyfriend and even your best friend. Haha, wow, man. She is turning you against these people by coming to you and spill drama. W T F

 

Ain't nobody got time for that. Do not give her that time to play games with your head.

 

So here is the hard fact you need to accept and put your feelings aside: she has a boyfriend. She is in a relationship and is not available to you OR your friend. Nobody is "stealing" her- she is in full control of her decisions and emotions. Her boyfriend is not forcing her to stay against her will here- she is CHOOSING to be in this dynamic by staying with him. If she wants to be "saved," then she can walk out of this relationship anytime.

 

But you have NO business getting involved in THEIR relationship. And since you are developing a crush for her, then you need to start turning her away. Otherwise, you are engaging in an emotional affair with her, which is another form of cheating. If she is capable of cheating with you, what's stopping her from running off to another man (like your friend)?

 

You also got to ask yourself this: how come she isn't going to her girlfriends for relationship support? Why is it just you? It's a clear sign that she is playing off you for attention. She's already succeeding at it with your friend. She is enjoying the additional attention from both you and your friend while she eats her cake (the boyfriend). Don't even fall into that trap.

 

I am just to afraid to tell her that I actually like her.

I still didn’t tell her because I am just scared to tell her... I just don’t know should I tell her all of this but I don’t want to mess up with her head even more because she had boys texting her everyday. She trust me with her heart and I am just afraid to tell her this because she will most likely reject me because she is slowly starting to like my best friend.

You would do a major disservice to yourself if you told her. Do not do it. It will not help you or her.

 

It is extremely inappropriate to tell someone who is in a relationship that you have a crush on them. Please do not be that guy. In addition, this also affects your friendship with her. You cannot remain friends with someone whom you have feelings that are beyond platonic and will end up getting hurt (which is starting to happen).

 

You need to keep your distance from this person. To the bolded part, she apparent thrives on attention from other guys, so she isn't a good catch either. Her ass would be gone if I were dating her because of her attention seeking behavior. She's flirting with too many people while in a relationship and is being a tease... Not ok.

 

And if you resent the actions of your "best" friend, then maybe you need to find new friends. These people you are hanging out with are really immature.

[catfeeder]

I agree with the others that you're positioning yourself badly. I managed to date most of the guys I had crushes on in HS because I was patient and I avoided two things: 1) playing therapist (those people are usually overlooked and live in fantasy--and misery) and 2) involving myself while they were involved with anyone else.

 

Bide your time. Back off of the confidant role; it positions you to observe disloyalty. For instance, how do you know that the girl is interested in your friend while she's still with a BF? That just sets you up for paranoia, so even if you 'win,' you lose, because you'd enjoy her attention for about 5 minutes before you recognize that she could turn on a dime to go out with your friend, back to her ex, or onto some shiny new guy with an air of mystery.

 

Skip that. Let the kids play in the sandbox while you step OUT of it. Expand your scope to make new friends while still keeping loose acquaintances with the girl and the friend she likes. Let that play out however it will, and when that drama is over, the girl may have grown out of leapfrogging between guys and may actually mature into reasonable relationship material.

 

Until then, I'd keep my distance to avoid the friend zone, spark curiosity about where you've gone, and stay out of triangles and rectangles. You have plenty of time in the future to 'win,' you just need to play it smart enough for a real win instead of setting yourself up to play an extra in some stupid competition.

 

Head high, and be smart--not impulsive.