Don't know what to do

[Feelinghurt751]

So about 2 weeks ago my girlfriend of over 10 years told me that she didn't know if she loved me anymore or not, I was obviously devastated by this news and started trying to fix everything I could but I feel like I only helped speed up the process.

We have a beautiful 5 yo little girl together and we still live in the same house but she has said it is definitely over.

 

I don't want to lose her, I know I need to give her space but all my heart and soul want to do is tell her all the things that would make us happy and how we have had our problems but it's nothing we can't fix.

 

I desperately want to just work on us but she seems dead set on the idea that it is over and there is nothing I can do to change the way she feels, she has even begun talking to a guy from work.

 

I can't leave the home for a variety of reasons, like work, our daughter and the financial inability.

 

I don't know what to do, I just wanna save this.

 

Any advice?

[cherubrock]

Don't try to fix it...I feel like you'll only make it worse, as you have mentioned. Just don't even mention it, go along with life as usual, maybe she'll come to her senses. But if not, then you can't control other people...and you'll just have to accept it.

[Feelinghurt751]

Don't try to fix it...I feel like you'll only make it worse, as you have mentioned. Just don't even mention it, go along with life as usual, maybe she'll come to her senses. But if not, then you can't control other people...and you'll just have to accept it.

 

I agree to an extent, but it seems so often that I can see a glimpse of hope, she has even agreed to let me take her out on an actual date, see if she can't find that spark again.

 

I've been dealing with all of this pretty badly, drinking a lot and smoking a lot of weed but only at night when im all alone in the room that used to be our Daughters, and is now mine.

 

Sometimes the pain becomes close to unbearable and all I want to do is scream and cry and reach out and make this relationship better.

 

I'm at a loss right now, I'm just so confused and don't know what path to take.

[Rustysuit]

I agree to an extent, but it seems so often that I can see a glimpse of hope, she has even agreed to let me take her out on an actual date, see if she can't find that spark again.

 

I've been dealing with all of this pretty badly, drinking a lot and smoking a lot of weed but only at night when im all alone in the room that used to be our Daughters, and is now mine.

 

Sometimes the pain becomes close to unbearable and all I want to do is scream and cry and reach out and make this relationship better.

 

I'm at a loss right now, I'm just so confused and don't know what path to take.

 

Don't feel bad with your coping mechanisms, but if you're really drinking too much, you should kinda slow it down. As for the weed, same advice, but it isn't as harmful as alcohol. You're allowed to indulge in SOME self-destructive behavior. No one can expect you to stay normal after this, but realize it needs limits and it can't last for too long/forever.

 

The pain you're feeling will go away. It's your brain on withdrawal. Give it 3 to 6 months and you'll be back to normal. Most likely still sad, but you'll be able to function normally again.