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Confused and quite unhappy


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Hello everyone and thanks for taking a few minutes to read this.


Two weeks ago I asked a young woman out for dinner from where I work. I know - risky - but I always believe it's better to know than to always wonder. Besides, I've been attracted to her since I began working where I do. Now, I haven't been active in the dating scene for about three years due to difficult circumstances going on in my life for a while that prompted my last girlfriend to explain to me that "my life was a mess". So, I isolated myself and this young woman came into my work area about a month or two ago (we usually just chat in passing about what we're watching on Netflix or just casually joke around) and she candidly expressed that she was no longer seeing who she was seeing. I felt like she kept driving home the fact that she's single to me. Everyone where I work knows I'm not seeing anyone. It's actually a great source of shame. Anyway we decide where we're going to go to dinner and we have a great time. She even revealed she was nervous which isn't like her. Both in my car on the way back and in messages after I dropped her off she asked if I wanted to hang out again. I was of course interested and literally sky high with happiness - feelings I haven't felt in a very long time.


Long story short, a week later she expresses that she's not looking for a serious relationship - just a friend. Also, she has been talking with someone else that works where we do; however, they aren't an item she claims. Despite all of this she still wants to hang out. We have a lot of commonalities and I sincerely enjoy spending time with her, but I want more. As I've said I've had strong feelings for her for several years. I was willing to build things slowly and hopefully deepen our relationship when she's ready, but I don't know if I can take the ups and downs of that process especially with terrible things such as false hope. At this point, I'm leaning toward just telling her we want different things and I don't want to prolong the inevitable and just suffer longer. By the way, I take relationship ups and down a bit hard because I'm bipolar, but I'm medicated and function well at least up until two weeks ago. All of this has me quite miserable.


This is the short version and I apologize for even its length. I appreciate you reading. If it's helpful, she is a bit older than me just like all of my previous girlfriends. I'm 29 while she is 34.

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Long story short, a week later she expresses that she's not looking for a serious relationship - just a friend.


This is all you need to know. If you can't handle just being friends with her, because you want more, then you need to cut ties with her or she'll end up breaking your heart. It sounds as though anyone getting involved with her right now would be a rebound, and you really don't need that.


Given that you're particularly vulnerable to relationship ups and downs, you really should be taking care of yourself and distancing yourself from her.

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