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Bisexual "friend" sent me nudes (afraid)

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I'm not sure where to start because the relationship of me and this girl is complicated as hell. We were close friends for some time and went to school together when we were 12-13 but I left and we havent talked for a good 5 years. We re-united this past summer, but she was different and flirty. Just throwing lots of signs about her sexuality. I did become a little fond of her and I became annoyed when I didnt see her some days. She opened up to me very quickly about her sexuality, to the extent of telling me her fetishes through our first few text conversations. This threw me off because I've never talked with someone in that manner, I don't know why I didn't pull away. We joked a lot and sent each other jokes and memes and talked about l little things every once in a while like friends would, but she loved to talk to me about sex. It was the only topic I could get her to actively talk to me about. This was the case for some weeks. Now, about a week ago from today we were talking about something and I made a joke like "omg why don't you send me your nudes" but I made it BEYOND clear that I was joking and she knew I was joking because of the type of person I am. You would never see me associated with anything racy. Now to the current issue.

Last night she told me she wanted my opinion on something. She referred to my joke saying something like "remember when you said you wanted to see my nudes" and referring to bdsm she told me she had an assignment to dress seductively. I was like "uhmm...okay "waiting for photos of her in maybe a schoolgirl outfit or lingerie, and even that made me a bit wary because this was out of the ing blue. I didn't want to make a big deal. However I was in for one of the greatest shocks of my life when she sent me the photos, they were of her bare ass and breasts in a mirror, in very revealing poses. If I were a normal person I would have been aroused because I had a bit of a liking to her and she had a beautiful body, but I'm a bit asexual so I was more afraid than anything. Also, it just made our relationship a load more confusing. I didn't know how to react because I didn't think she'd EVER go that far. I didnt think ANYONE could go that far, especially being that we weren't dating or anything and I never asked for these photos. She sent them and waited for my reply, I had to react quickly so I decided to compliment her while expressing my shock at the same time. I said something like "woaaahh!!! I did not expect that, but you have a great body!" I didnt wan't to make her feel bad and I was panicking severely. She was insanely casual about it. Then as icing on the cake she sent a series of videos of her nude listening to music. I was screaming inside because I've never experienced anything like this but decided to be cool about it, and that was late last night. Do you know how sometimes when its late at night, your mind isn't exactly all the way there? Like you might send a rosky text before going to bed and wake up like "NOOO WHY DID I SAY THAT!??" Well when I woke up I realized how ed this was. I sat in bed thinking "oh my god!!! that was not okay at all". I may sound crazy but her sending me nudes turned me off even though it should've did the opposite. I didnt even get to develop a proper crush, I had the idea of going slow if we were to potentially date, WITH her clothes on, but all of a sudden I know what all her parts look like. The next day we talked about random stuff and I acted like nothing was wrong, but inside I felt extremely upset and I don't understand why because it shouldn't be that big of a deal, right? Something about it is eating away at me and I know when I see her in person again I won't be able to look her in the eye.

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Sounds like you have either miscommunicated or inadequately communicated your boundaries to her (perhaps because you didn't fully realise/know them previously). Now that you know your own boundaries, you could lightly mention that the photos made you kinda uncomfortable because they were quite forward.


Unfortunately, you can't control how she reacts to that and whether she will want to remain friends, but it is important that you let your boundaries be known as soon as possible as otherwise she will think that it's okay to do this or something even more suggestive because she will think that the response was a positive one and that you're both happy like this.


I had a friend in high school who was bisexual and we both kissed the same guy one night. But from here she proceeded to do things like kiss up my inner thigh and on another occasion pinched my nipple while we were jumping on the bed. It made things very awkward and ultimately ruined our friendship because I couldn't reciprocate and that made her bitter and hateful towards me. Had I found a way to gently mention my boundaries, it might have been a bit more civil

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I agree with glitterfingers, now you know your boundaries you could mention to her that sending nude photos make you uncomfortable, you could say it via text if it's easier but I do think it needs to be said. Especially as you're so upset by her actions.

I don't think you're being unreasonable or making it out to be something its not because if I had a friend who just sent me nude photos one night I'd be uncomfortable. You have every right to feel how you feel whether it's big or small, just because 1 person feels one way doesn't mean you should feel that way too. This friend seems to be crossing a line but the thing is she may not know she's crossing a line because you haven't said to her there is a line to be crossed.

As mentioned before you can't predict or control how she may react to what you say & yes you may lose her as a friend but in my opinion, if she doesn't want to see or speak to you after you express your feelings she's not much of a friend.

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