Looking for some related experiences or advice

[hockeyguy1313]

Hey,

 

So I posted on here before and received some helpful advice but feel I should be a little more specific on my situation. The summarized back story is I started seeing(not dating) this girl who had been broken up with her ex for a month. Told me she was trying to get over him so yes I knew what I was getting into. We clicked right away and talked all the time (txt, phone calls, fb) and started hanging out regularly. We would make out sleep together, go on couply style dates. She seemed to have a lot of fun and really enjoyed seeing me. Recently we went to a cottage for a weekend with friends and was the first time I noticed she became a little distant. It didnt get better afterwards, and a few days later I found out she was still seeing/ talking to her ex. Once confronted she told me she likes me and doesn't want to stop seeing me but loves him. Also told me she feels comfortable and safe around me. I told her I need space to think about everything and that I wasn't too happy she lied to me. I have been on no contact for 2 days now. Her ex doesn't love her, they don't sleep together or do "couples things" and was abusive in their past relationship(she told me this).

 

I'm wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and if so how it played out? I know most advice is to move on and forget about her which is what I have started to do, what I'm also asking is if their is a chance of her kind of "seeing the light" sort of thing or is there anything I can do to increase what little chance I have?

[ThatwasThen]

Best way to increase any chance you have of winning her (you're currently in competition with her ex) is for her ex to either die or move far away.

 

Look... I know you liked her hockey guy but she's in no place to be in any kind of new relationship. On top of that, she has issues if she's still seeing and talking to a douche who abused her. She needs therapy if she is trying to get back with someone who mistreated her. Love is no reason to return to an abuser and it has a lot more to do with addiction and codependency then it does love.

 

You're better off without her even if the ex dies (not wishing that on anyone) or if he moves far away. You're too nice for her and she'll just use you for an emotional Band-Aid as you help her to get over him.

[Maxx82]

Yeah this is a recipe for disaster. If she is dating and sleeping with you then she should not still be seeing and talking to her ex. It's completely inappropriate and disrespectful. She needs to decide what it is she wants. Until then you are honestly being used as a back up plan.

[hockeyguy1313]

No we weren't dating, she loves him in an unhealthy way. I have gone no contact and seeing other people. Was just seeing if things ever worked out for other people or what they did