Fitgills Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Hey all. So after getting back in touch a while back with an ex who decided they didn't want a relationship we started being friendly with the odd confusing message about how we felt. I realised that this was also holding me back from moving on as I had a big 'what if' in the back of my mind. But to be honest not dealing with the 'what if' was just as bad. I eventually managed to push my ex into saying how he felt about a second chance and I ultimately got the brutal he doesn't think we are souls mates, he doesn't want to see me romantically and doesn't think there would be a spark. All this is actually fine. I just wish he'd said this earlier. The break up led me to feel very sorry for him as he seemed very conflicted and seemed like he hadn't thought things through. His actions and words were also confusing. I wish I had pushed for this sooner as I didn't actually 100% believe him when he messaged it as I let him lead me on a little too long. Trust in what he says and what he wants isn't fully there. Realising how he (I genuinely don't think the issue is me now) makes me feel better about myself as I feel like I am back to my laid back normal self. I think tough love is fine. I'd love to do the whole friends thing but it is apparent that it probably won't work for me but I'm glad I've not got 'what ifs' now. I do feel a lot better now though and tell myself what he said to me when I think back to the good memories. I gave him the chance I wanted to give him and he didn't want it and it feels pretty closed off now which means I can move on (and know that I am open to a new relationship). Just got to deal with my own pickiness and insecurities now. Link to comment
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