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A few months ago, my relationship with a girl ended. It was semi mutual, but it was because of me. She was asexual, and I am sexual, but I was fine with the prospect of not having sex. We ended things because she said she didn't want to kiss anymore, and I took it as a sign that she wasn't attracted to me anymore. However, I later researched more into asexuality, since she was the first asexual person I met, and realized I was wrong and merging sexual attraction with romantic attraction.


She has made it clear that I hurt her, and that she doesn't want to get back together with me. She did want to be friends, and that's what I want as well. We go to the same college, and have the same friends, so it is impossible not to see her everyday. Recently, she started a relationship with one of my closer friends in the group, a guy who I went to for help in my breakup.


I don't know what to do. I think I want her back, but I definitely know that I want to be her friend. But that's almost impossible now. I feel depressed when I see her with my friend, and feel betrayed when she treats him the way she used to treat me. But I feel depressed when I don't see her at all. I have tried hard to be more positive, and to go back to how I was, but I feel awful in one way or another whenever I see her or someone brings up her new relationship. Please give me advise for this situation.

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You were fine with the prospect of not having sex with your partner EVER?


You are young. Maybe you haven't had sexual partner yet? But never having sex is actually to big an ask for a sexual adult.


As heart breaking as this is, your relationship wasn't going to last. You need to find someone who meets your needs... and sex is a part of that for most people.


It's going to feel bad for awhile. That is how break ups work. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself space. Maybe try and find some new friends to hang out with so you aren't constantly reopening your wounds.

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