Ex is being weird

[Destinyblues]

So my ex who broke up with me in the ugliest way has totally disappeared from my life now. We had no contact for like almost 7 months. I mean it was really hurtful but at least I didn't have to see him in school so it was fine and I could focus on my studies. However, once I saw him 3 times a week. One is when he walked in a party I was in, another one is when he was smiling (presumably either to me or space) in the library and the other one is when he nudged his friend while he walked past me in the street. Of course I just pretended he was a stranger and didn't try to interact with him. I'm just wondering what is he thinking? Like I thought he would try to avoid me at all costs rather than acknowledging my presence. His actions don't make any sense at all. Did anyone experience a similar thing?

[MissCanuck]

We need a little more context, I think.

 

Why did he break up with you, and how long were you together? How ugly was the break-up, exactly? How old are you both?

[BeenThereB4]

None of that sounds weird at all. I'm assuming you both live in the same area and run in the same circles. If so, you're bound to run into each other here and there. I don't see any significance to him walking into a party that you happened to be at. Is he supposed to avoid all parties for fear that you may be in attendance? Should he avoid the library because you also study there? Should he not walk down the street in case he might pass you? These are all random and brief encounters.

 

For what it's worth, many people will smile at their ex if they happen to catch their eye in a public place. Also, him nudging his friend as he passes you on the street is not really significant. After all, he did date you. You are not a complete stranger.

 

And yes, I've had exes acknowledge my presence after messy break-ups. Why should they rudely ignore me? In cases of amicable break-ups, I've actually hung out with some exes as friends.

 

His actions make complete sense. What doesn't make sense is your interpretation of them. Are you hoping to get back together with him?

[Clio]

I have. If he behaved genuinely badly and it was recent, what you are witnessing may be some form of avoidance mechanism. These vary vastly among individuals, thus, where one person may pretend that you don't exist, the other may acknowledge your presence in an effort to pretend that everything that happened is OK. Or the same person may act one way at one time and the opposite way at another time. It's usually about trying to AVOID their negative feelings by pretending that they are not there, like an ostrich burying its head in the sand. Alternatively, they may genuinely see no fault in how they handled things. Or they may think that not acknowledging you would be rude. Trying to figure this out is a waste of energy.

[Hollyj]

All you have to remember is that this creep ghosted you. Terrible.

 

You are handling it well!!!

[Destinyblues]

Thank you. Just to understand your point of view, why do you think he is a creep?