The one that got away

[tabithas]

When I was 17 I met this guy I'll call him A, that I really liked so much so that I had butterflies every time he was near me. We was getting to know each other and hanging out. My friends said we should date but I was quite shy back then and I had a bad experience with a previous bf that left me quite wary around guys. It took me quite a while to get my feelings out there to him, about 5 months or so. I told how I felt that I liked him and everything, it turned out he just got with someone else and he felt bad. It kind of ruined our friendship I didn't really speak to him much after that. I moved on and meet someone else I'll call him G within a couple of months but i found out G he was cheating on me the whole time we was together. Now 19, I moved on again to my partner S, who I have now been with for almost 5 1/2 years, we are engaged and we are looking for a house together, I love him and care for him deeply. My fiancée S has been good friends with A for years and I see A every now again, we speak but we are nowhere near as close as it's like we are civil but I miss the convos we used to have years ago. A is still with his gf of 6 years. I found out recently from S that A confessed that He went on holiday on his own recently that he meet someone who had everything figured out, he wants to buy his own home but confessed that he was gonna cheat as he loved his Mrs and I know he defiantly wouldn't. She does comission drawings so no confirmed income so they can't look at houses or moving forward as she had no income (his words). Everything that I can tell from the convo mentioned between A and S is that A is unhappy. Even though I moved on and I'm engaged, I still really like him and I have for years and the feelings won't go away I just hide them as he was with someone else. I feel kind of guilty to admit I have feelings for him as I am with someone else but whenever I think of him and saw him the other day after finding out everything I kind of don't want to hide it. I don't know what to do for the best. Any comments would be appreciated, no hate please.

[DanZee]

Well, we all have baggage like this, such as people we like but we can't do anything about. But unless you want to cheat on your fiancee, there is absolutely nothing good that will come from confiding to your old bf or anyone else that you still like him. It also shows you haven't really moved on. You just have to lock away this secret, but if you ever break up with your current bf, then you do have a rebound option with your old bf.

[Clio]

You need to take him off the pedestal. Had you really been compatible and he was as into you as you were into him, he would have dropped that new relationship or somehow you would have found each other long before now. He is not the perfect guy you imagine.

 

What you wrote was confusing. Did he cheat or thinks of cheating on his partner? If yes, then he is definitely no good. Cheating/thinking of cheating shows that he is selfish and lacks morals. Thinking that he would treat you any better is naive.

 

Your feelings for this guy are probably more about trying to escape from whatever you are unhappy about in your own life rather than anything real. You would be better off focusing on whatever it is that you really need to fix within you and within your current relationship rather than thinking that some guy could miraculously make you feel better about life.

 

P.S. In reality, the ones that get away are the ones that are incompatible with us, hence, the inability to synchronize.