Should I continue seeing this girl?

[Dmarls84]

Ok....so I have been seeing this girl for about 2 months, after coming out of a long term relationship about 4 months ago.

 

We class our fling as ****-buddies, but we meet up and have nights out etc, more than just sex, they would be considered dates. There is also lots of kissing, holding hands, intimate stuff....in public too.

 

I am perfectly comfortable with this, its nice, but is this more of a relationship starting than **** buddies?

 

We also talk a lot, about general stuff, but she seems quite comfortable talking about her ex (whom she split up with several months ago - also a long term relationship).

 

Firstly, for some reason this kinda bothered me, so I guess I must be starting to like her (more than just ****-buddies?). But I kept it to myself, didn't say anything to her, just listened.

 

Secondly, some of the things she told me I found kind of odd. Here's the highlights;

- She is still in contact with her ex.

- She doesn't want to be with him as he bores her and doesn't satisfy her, also she does not think he will change in the way that she requires.

- She blames herself for the way in which she treated him. (I don't think she cheated, she just feels guilty because she broke it off and he didn't want to).

- She feels that she gets happy and cant handle it so sabotages it for herself.

 

So, my query is this; If I continue seeing this girl I will inevitably start to like her more and more, its a great arrangement but the connection is good and it will just work out that way. Potentially, it might be the same for her. Her actions suggest that she is equally in to me, but some of the things she has said suggest otherwise.

 

What do you guys think will happen if I stick this out?

(haven't been in situation quite like this before, don't want to get hurt when I could have bailed before that point, could do with some advice/experience etc).

[Pleasedonot5]

You'll either leave or she will leave. Call it what you want, but I think in most circles this would be friends with benefits, or casually dating. I would worry less about what it's called. If the principle of the thing bugs you because you don't feel it's classy, then just tell her you'd rather call it friends with benefits.

 

I've been in these situations before, and I actually particularly enjoy them. However, if you're looking for something more, I think it might be best to look somewhere else.

[Lambert]

if it ain't broke don't fix it. you could end up with feels and get hurt. you could end up not. who really know what is good? enjoy your life and see what happens.

people meet and get together in crazy ways. there is not a handbook nor is this tv or movies. just cause you start as one thing, doesn't mean you'll end up something else. all situations are as individual as the people in them.

maybe you guys well continue to have fun, be flirty and enjoy good times. we all need more of that in our lives.

 

dont sabotage yourself. who cares what it's called. sounds like you are both in the same page. unless your not. that's where the problems start.

[indea08]

When I met my husband Adam, I had made the comment that I'd already previously met the person I was supposed to be with, but unfortunately that person no longer existed after finding drugs. I didn't realize that comment had stuck with Adam until he asked about it months later, if I still felt that way. It was a complicated answer, because the wonderful, happy relationship I'd had before was still a beautiful memory to me, but it would always be only a memory. I was open to finding a new "forever". And I found the best one I could've possibly hoped for. We've been happily married for over a year now, and although we both had whatever feelings at the beginning, I'm so happy we chose to see it through.

 

You NEVER know what could happen unless you give it a chance. If you get hurt, then you learned something, became stronger. If it works out, the possibilities are endless. I say it's worth the risk.