Unsure about my relationship

[Bewn231]

Hi all,

 

Me and my girlfriend of nearly 5 years have been happily together. We bought a house last year, and got a dog not long after.

 

I do love the dog, but he is very bored and destructive most of the time. I gave talked to her many times about this and tried literally everything to stop his boredom. I don't think it's fair on the Dog, to keep him locked away in the garden by himself all day (both work full time), but she blindly in love with him and won't see reason. This is making me doubt our relationship, as she just goes quiet and miserable when I try to bring this up. As I think he's be happier with someone who has more time for him.

 

Am I being unreasonable? .

 

To further complicate things her brother has recently moved in to our small house, and shows no sign of saving money to move out.

 

I do love her, but these things make me doubt our relationship and us. I can't remember the last time we did something other than lounging on the sofa and watching TV.

 

Last weekend I went away to see some friends, I was so happy to spend time away, and know I'm at the typical agitated state as I feel she won't see reason with this dog situation.

 

Any advice is appreciated

[DancingFool]

Regarding the dog - dogs require a lot of exercise. This means that you and her could get up early and go for a jog or bike ride with your dog, let him burn off his energy and boredom so he is out sleeping all day, content. Then in the evening take him for another long walk. On weekends take him out to parks, hiking, biking, the beach if there is a dog friendly beach, join some doggie groups or training/agility classes. The dog can actually bring a lot into your life and relationship in terms of things to do and be THE reason to get off the couch for the both of you......but you both have to be willing to get off the couch go do what needs to be done and make that a part of your daily life.

 

As for her brother....don't know what to tell you. It's a difficult situation where he is her brother she probably feels obligated to help him. At the same time, you are going to have to sit down and come up with a time limit and deadline for him to move out. Talk to her and then you both talk to him.

 

You might actually need to make it clear to her that getting off the couch and exercising the dog daily is not optional and neither is her brother being given a timeline for moving out.

[Bewn231]

I take him for a 30 min run before work, and she takes him after work for a run. However after this and trying numerous over things hes still destructive which isn't helping our relationship. We have taken him a few parks on weekends.

 

That's a good idea to work out a deadline of sorts.

[Vanishing Girl]

I'd double that time on a run. My Pitt/boxer mix needed 45-60 min twice per day. Ride a bike and let him run if your limit running is 30. Worked well for us!