kolder Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I want to start out by saying I have always had good intentions in my relationship, have never cheated, have had no ulterior motives and am striving to be honest in my feelings. However I am at a crossroads in my 8 year relationship and have been considering breaking up for a long time now. We are in our early 40's with no kids. I am just not sure whether it's a case of I either don't know how good I have it already (stay) or don't know how good it should be (leave). My feelings about our relationship are so ambivalent. One minute I can't imagine leaving her and feel so guilty at the thought of it, the next it seems the only right thing to do. I've summarised the points below to make it easier to read as I could write pages and pages The pro's of my relationship: I trust my partner I feel comfortable in being myself with my partner My partner has an endearing personality and makes light of most situations My partner is easy going My partner is fun My partner is a nice person We hardly ever argue although lately we have argued more because of my doubts. My partner and I share the same sense of humour and have things to talk about. Nothing deep but there are no awkward silences We have 8 years together We are generally happy together The Con's in my relationship I don't feel that my partner is “the one” nor that we will get married I don't feel sexually attracted to my partner. This is partly emotional attraction and partly physical attraction. Our sex life is virtually non existent by my choice due to above, although my partner seems OK with this. I snap at my partner sometimes for no real reason. I don't feel we have the same expectations or ambitions in life My partner has very low expectations and ambitions. I feel my partner is a passenger in the relationship. It's not what she says or does but what she doesn't say or do. Our families are very different to each other. I don't feel that our relationship is “going anywhere” My partner does not share the same lifestyle choices as me eg. Health, fitness etc. I wander whether, despite actually getting on with each other and sharing the same sense of humour, whether we are actually compatible after all this time. On one hand I love my partner and I know I would miss her so much if we split, her but on the other I don't feel in love or that she is “the one”. I wander whether staying together is more harmful than splitting and starting afresh or whether we should split at all. I know my partner is in love with me and wouldn't want to split. What should I do? I don't know where to start to process my feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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