Parents do not approve of her, what do I do?

[bryonlanus]

To start off, me and this girl are both 20 years old. I was in a relationship with this girl for about 5 years. It was a good relationship. But one day we got into a huge fight about her and her "friend" being too close. We didn't talk for a month. (Mind you we haven't broken up.) The next thing I knew, she was in another relationship with her "friend" we were fighting about. We talked about it and she told me that she fell in love with her friend and they were already in a relationship before 'the fight', she added that wasn't sure about her feeligs for me anymore. Basically she cheated. So soon enough we called it quits.

 

About 3 months passed, she approaches me telling me she made a mistake and wants to get back together. By this time, my friends and family know what she did I told her she would have to wait until everyone settles down from the mess she's made.

 

About 2 weeks passed I asked my parents (or more specifically my whole family) about their take on my ex and what would they think if we were to get back together.

 

They all said that they do not and will never approve of her after what she's done.

 

What do I do? I still like her, but after 5 years of being together and what she did to destroy it, I'm not sure anymore.

 

TLDR: Girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me with a guy she met abroad but now she's sorry and wants to get back but parents do not approve. What do I do?

[Rustysuit]

You need to understand your parents POV. No one loves us more than our parents. When they see us hurt and in pain, especially because of a relationship, they can't help it but feel bad about it.

 

It's absolutely normal for your parents to dislike her. If you're serious about this second chance you're giving the relationship, you need to power through your parents disapproval. For a while anyway.

 

My advice: take things slowly if you're really getting back together. Don't bring her home and avoid mentioning her to your parents (but don't hide the relationship - never thought that was a healthy thing to do).

If you can see the relationship is going to last, then start easing into it and make your parents understand that you forgave her and they should too and that she makes you happy and that's what matters the most.

 

Also, be careful not to get your heart broken again. Address old issues, try to understand what led her to her cheating on you. If you find you can't 100% forgive the girl, don't even bother. The resentment alone will kill the relationship sooner or later.

[abitbroken]

I know you don't want to hear this -- but you are young and there are more fish in the sea. She cheated on you (she claimed to have been in a relationship him before you had a problem with her being too close) - you deserve more! There are young women out there who know what they want and are ready for an honest relationship. if you have been together since the age of 15 you could very well have outgrown eachother, too. I say listen to your folks in this case.

 

If she were very sincere and it was just youthful ignorance, i would say if you parted ways and didn't talk and then a few years later ran into eachother - that's a different story. Let go. There are better women out there.